The Uranium Conspiracy (1978)

one of my absolute favorites!

n my opinion it was a great movie with some interesting elements, even though having some plot holes and the ending probably was just too messy and crammed together, but still fun to watch and not your casual movie that is similar to all other ones.

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

This obscure thriller is the result of a collaboration between three countries – Italy, West Germany, and Israel – and with all that talent involved you'd think the movie would be at least halfway decent. Sadly not. Instead, this is a deservedly forgotten little movie, that attempts to channel the '70s interest in conspiracies, mysteries, and thrillers but offers only lacklustre thrills and excitement. Don't be fooled by the promise of a 'Golan-Globus' production in the opening credits – this is before the two names became synonymous with OTT Chuck Norris films packed with cheesy action. The only action to be found here is limited to around fifteen minutes of boat, car, and rooftop chases that take place around the half-hour mark. The boat and car scenes are sub-Bondian at best but always go through the motions than offering anything in the way of genuine excitement. At least they show off the nice canals of Amsterdam which always make good movie backdrops. The rooftop fights are better and we do get to see a guy falling from the roof, so this is easily the most exciting part of the film.Otherwise the running time is padded out with shots of the hero, played by Fabio Testi, walking around, sitting around, or talking to people. There's a lot of inaction and even the climatic battle on board a ship is particularly dull by genre standards – this is an extreme (even ludicrous) case of the bad guys not being able to hit anybody while the good guys kill at a rate of one baddie per shot. The stand-off runs on interminably for twenty minutes or so and is enlivened only by an appalling Scottish accent that had me reaching for the mute button.The film has a gritty, dirty, on-the-street look but the effect is more depressing than enthralling. Testi, long a staple of Italian cinema, can be pretty good and charismatic when he wants to be, but the film doesn't offer him the opportunity. Assi Davan is the Israeli co-star and he fares little better, and the two are so thinly characterised as to make them almost interchangeable. Janet Agren – familiar to horror fans for her role in the cult Lucio Fulci film CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD – looks good (if heavily made up) but her woman-in-peril scenes are limited. She only seems to be around to whip her top off and take part in a twist worthy of Hitchcock's PSYCHO. Other regular staples of Italian cinema – e.g. Hebert Fux – are invisible in a film populated by cardboard cut-outs throughout.Utterly devoid of incident, excitement and the genre staples of suspense and tension, THE URANIUM CONSPIRACY is a by-the-numbers outing that ticks all of the boxes without ever doing anything right. Given the cooperation between three countries during production, this might be the result of a 'too many cooks' situation.

This is another movie that was just put up on YouTube that I decided to watch. This film, whose English title is The Uranium Conspiracy, is the first time I've watched a Yoram Globus-Menahem Golan production directed by Golan in its entirety. As a spy thriller involving nuclear weapons, this was quite an exciting flick especially during the boat and car chase scenes. Filmed in many European locations and some sea locales, there were many intrigues that got me hooked throughout the picture. Fabio Testi is the Italian agent Renzo who does assignments for Israeli Dan (Assi or Assaf Dayan) for a price. Despite that, they're actually friends. Helga (Janet Agren) is the Swedish woman who works for a German company that makes nuclear weapons. She falls for Renzo. That's all I'll say except this is one exciting movie that I'm glad I watched on YouTube!

Hunky secret agent man Fabio Testi (as Renzo) beds women, hunts uranium, and pals around Venice with handsome hetero partner Assaf Dayan (as Dan). Sexy Janet Agren (as Helga) provides the two with a amorous assignment, which Testi accepts. After bedding down with the quickly undressed damsel, Testi thinks she can offer no leads, but Mr. Dayan suspects otherwise. The best part of "The Uranium Conspiracy" is the lovely location scenery. The film's excitement grows much more exciting in its final act, with the dynamic duo of Testi and Dayan making an action-packed escape from some bad dudes. If that don't float your boat, order pizza, turn on the television, and watch something else. **** Agenten kennen keine Tränen (8/10/78) Menahem Golan ~ Fabio Testi, Assi Dayan, Janet Agren

Hi, Everyone, Fabio Testi as Renzo is a handsome secret agent, more or less. His buddy, Dan, played by Assi Dayan is maybe cuter and cleverer. Helga is the girl who Fabio woos with a stolen salt shaker. She is played by Janet Agren who shows us her upper body endowment in some scenes.Good scenes of the streets and canals of Venice or some other city with streets and canals. The boat chase is much like what we saw in Gator and Swamp Girl. The car chase scenes are done nicely but nowhere nearly as good as Bullitt or The French Connection. The foot chase scenes on rooftops and city streets are well done. The music throughout sucks.Assi Dayan is the son of the famous Israeli General Moshe Dayan. Both Assi Dayan and Fabio Testi are still active in film-making. They both have likable personalities and nice faces with interesting accents. Think of Daffy and Donald Duck with better eyelashes.The story is far more applicable to today's world than it was to the 1970s world of moviegoers. It has a plot that incorporates terrorists seeking nuclear weapons.The bad guys look very bad. If you have ever found yourself annoyed with an organ grinder's music, there is one scene in this film you will enjoy.An old cargo ship becomes a nice setting for target practice late in the movie. The bullets hit everything except the good guys.With the two lead guys being so good looking at that time, the director was somehow not able to insert a scene that had any real sex appeal. Even when Fabio is in bed with a girl it does not become intimate or interesting. The director should have stuck to the acting and plot development and left the nudity and sex scenes for better directors. Blake Edwards could have found much better music. J. Daniel Cadinot could have done the buildup to the nude scenes.Not a bad movie, especially in today's world.Tom Willett