Rat Man (1988)

In other words,this film is a surreal ride.

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Seriously fun little Italian sleazefest by former spaghetti western director Anthony Ascott. His "Sartana" films were filled with nifty little gimmicks, gizmos, devices, contraptions and bizarre cinematic flourishes that set the films apart from the pack. Here his little wind up gimmick is a despicable marvel of exploitation monster mania that must be witnessed to be believed. Watching the poor little rat man claw apart the half naked female supporting players is where the heart of the film lies. It delivers the goods, doesn't apologize about what it is & gets the job over with a bit of style in under 85 minutes. None of it is really scary but a lot will make your flesh crawl, and probably laugh.One idea that keeps coming to mind is about how the film is a study in applied bad taste right down to the wince inducing use of a real life deformed person in a freakshow role. Such things cannot be enjoyed in good conscience without beer which is used in the presence of friends: It's a howler of a party movie and a guilty pleasure to be enjoyed at times when you just want to marvel at how absurd the human species can be. I don't defend this movie for a minute but I sure am in awe of it, which in some cases will have to do.7/10

So bad it's literally BRILLIANT, this ultra-low budgeted Italian trash-production spawns one of the most unlikely and absurd monsters in the history of horror-cinema ever! Dr. Olben's creation Ratman is a genetic crossover between a rat and a monkey and somehow it's able to produce a deadly venom for which there exists no antidote. Even crazier than the creature itself is Dr. Olben's conviction that his entirely pointless genetic breakthrough will gain him a Nobel Price! Why the hell would the scientific world be interested in a rat-monkey hybrid with absolutely no positive characteristics? Moreover, the little bastard is mean-spirited as hell and continuously escapes from Olben's lab and onto a nearby village where he aggressively feasts on the bodies of gorgeous fashion models. One of the missing girls' sisters teams up with fictional novelist David Warbeck – dressed in a ridiculous Hawaian shirt – to investigate her whereabouts. They discover the abandoned laboratory where Ratman cheerfully ran some amok and return home with more than they bargained for. "Ratman" is one bizarre and provocative Italian B-movie. The plot is rubbish and the acting performances are weak, but the hideous monster is genuinely creepy and menacing. All thanks to Nelson de la Rosa, officially the smallest man on the planet, who wasn't too proud to exploit his awkward appearance for the sake of trashy cinematic entertainment. His short stature is mostly impressive, but also the rest of his make-up is rather effective, like his pointy teeth, hairy face and penetrating eyes. If only director Giuliano Carnimeo had a slightly better script to work with, "Ratman" easily could have been one of the last truly great shockers to come out of Italy. Carnimeo surely already knew how to build up tension (the music is great and the set pieces are dark & unsettling) and the murders are reasonably gory, but the dialogs are simply too inept. As to be expected, the film also features lots of redundant and totally gratuitous nudity, like the shower sequence in which Eva Grimaldi extendedly shows off her perfect measurements. You got to love how the Italians tried everything possible to please their gore & sex-addicted fans! The ending of this crazed flick is very abrupt and laughable, hinting at a sequel that – if it would have been made – would have predated the concept of the 2006 blockbuster "Snakes on a Plane" with nearly 20 years! Can you image "Ratman 2: Hybrids on a Plane"? That would have been awesome! Even though it would be a crime against all the rules of good taste to call "Ratman" a good film, it's definitely still recommended to all the avid collectors of Italian horror cinema. It's nearly unavailable on DVD and you even have to move heaven and earth to obtain a halfway decent copy on VHS or bootleg DVD-R. That alone defines a gem!

The always excellent and very sadly missed David Warbeck and the ever lovely Janet Agren star in this creepy Italian effort from 1988.The plot (what there is of it) involves a rat/monkey hybrid that escapes from captivity and goes on a killing spree on a tropical island.Interestingly, this was written by Dardano Sacchetti and Elisa Briganti who also wrote the screenplays for Lucio Fulci's classic zombie fest 'Zombie Flesh Eaters' aka 'Zombi' aka Zombi 2 (and a plethora of other names besides) and a great number of other films which also happen to be set on tropical islands and in other exotic locations……hmmmm I wonder…..perhaps a ploy by the writers to cadge free holidays?Anyway back to the film in question......Also present on the island are a photographer and his models who are performing a glossy shoot (cue a fair bit of time padding as we see the models going through their paces)Well you know the equation here; Horror movie + Models = Victims.Sure enough, they begin to fall foul to our diminutive, poisonous clawed beastie who promptly sets about gnawing on them with great gusto.Enter Warbeck and Agren's characters….Warbeck is a crime author visiting the island for a bit of inspiration whilst Agren plays a woman who has been summoned to the island by the local law enforcement authorities in order to identify the body of her missing sister at the morgue.The two end up sharing a taxi and Warbeck (hungry for a story) accompanies Agren to the morgue. As it happens, the body uncovered turns out luckily, not to be her sister after all. In fact the sister is none other than one of the (still surviving) photographic models who is at the same time nonetheless very much in grave peril from our little rodent/simian killer.Will our intrepid investigators locate and save our hapless model in time? How many more victims will Ratman claim? Could the film makers have found any worse voice over artists? You'll have to watch to find out!The film itself is basically a no thrills slasher picture at heart and unforgivably devotes far too much of its running time on needless padding such as the aforementioned photo-shoots along with various other meandering tactics.It has to be said to, that Warbeck and Agren are dreadfully wasted in this and are given absolutely nothing whatsoever to do in the film of any real interest.However the film does have a few points to raise it above the average mark…..One is an incredible nude shower scene featuring the beautiful Eva Grimaldi which was obviously designed (very successfully I might add!) to get all us chaps salivating.The other is the incredibly exploitative casting of Nelson De La Rosa, the world's smallest actor as the eponymous Ratman. I must say that the creature realisation is incredibly creepy looking as are some of the ways in which it rears its ugly head…..Being as small as it is, the little terror amongst other places hides in a toilet bowl (!), a fridge (!!) and in another scene a hold all (!!!) YIKES!!!To summarise, this is an admittedly formulaic slasher flick but one that also features one hell of a memorable and scary critter. Once you've seen Ratman, you'll certainly never forget him!

I just gotta wonder how the filmmakers pitched this one to Nelson De La Rosa (at 2' 4" he is considered "world's smallest actor" and the lead in the film). I can just picture it now..."OK Nelson - we've got this REALLY great role for you. I know you've been trying to break into serious acting for a while now, so we're gonna give you the role of a life-time...are you ready for this?...you're gonna play a rat/monkey hybrid freak!!! Isn't that just perfect???". Well, however that meeting went, it obviously worked cuz De La Rosa DOES in fact play the ill-named RAT MAN (which I STILL don't understand, being that he is supposed to be portraying a rat/monkey hybrid - I guess RAT MONKEY just doesn't have the same "ring" as a film title...) and does so pretty competently for such a goofy film.As you've probably gathered by now...the film revolves around a rat/monkey (or RAT MAN if you prefer...). The thing was created by this strange doctor for...well...for no real purpose at all. This doctor seems to be delusional as he said he was planning on winning the Nobel Prize for his "achievement" - but last I heard, they don't typically give out Nobel Prizes for the creation of murderous hybrid freak creatures, although I could be wrong. Anyway, the rat/monkey gets loose and starts killing people all over the Caribbean island that they're on - and let me tell you - this little bastard really get's around. From the beach to the jungle to a deserted village - you just can't stop the rat/monkey. When a model turns up dead, her sister is called in to ID the body - but it turns out to be the wrong girl (OOPS...). The woman stays around to look for her sister who is supposed to be doing a photo shoot in the jungle. The woman is accompanied by a writer who she just met in a cab(?)and decides to tag along with her for absolutely no reason at all (?!?!?). Their investigations eventually lead them back to the good doctor's home, and that's where the real "terror" begins...I guess...RAT MAN is actually pretty enjoyable. The plot is completely retarded, the acting is so-so, the ending is hilarious in it's ineptitude, and there's not nearly enough gore or nudity for my taste (although there is a little bit of both). But for some reason, this one is still fun, and De La Rosa as the RAT MAN is probably one of the most perfect casting choices I've ever seen. This creepy little bastard should be in EVERY horror film. Recommended to fans of sleaze n' cheese films - most others will probably find it far too stupid to enjoy. 7/10