The Loch Ness Horror (1982)

the leading man is my tpye

Wow! Such a good movie.

Entertaining from beginning to end, it maintains the spirit of the franchise while establishing it's own seal with a fun cast

One of those movie experiences that is so good it makes you realize you've been grading everything else on a curve.

What did I just watch? To say this film is weird is an understatement! Maybe it is a movie that is fun to watch to revel in its awfulness, but still The Loch Ness Horror is a mind-boggling mess. Still I guess it is worth the watch for its novelty value.The Loch Ness Horror does look cheap. The sets/sceneries are somewhat nice with some dazzling early underwater sequences, but the slip-shod editing and cinematography spoil it. Even the Loch Ness Monster is cheesy with a design that is overly-reminiscent of a large toy/model/inflatable with overly-cute eyes. The dialogue is incoherent and laughable, the plot is a mess with a rushed ending that makes you go that's it?, the film is very rushed overall, the direction is incompetent and the acting complete with some appalling accents is dreadful.In conclusion, a mess but worth the watch perhaps once for the novelty value. 1/10 Bethany Cox

The Loch Ness Horror is the first film I've encountered so far from Larry Buchanan. Taking one of the oddly underused icons of cryptozoology, a clearly non Scottish setting and some extravagant acting, Buchanan crafts an almost but not quite there work of occasionally inspired b grade junk. The titular beast has a decent enough look to it, it's a big plesiosaur looking beast that likes to nosh on people, though its non jointed jaws mean that it tends more to sort of drape its mouth over people and let them do the work of appearing to be eaten. Its pretty rubbery and not much better than the sort of thing some particularly determined students might botch up over a weekend with some latex, but it has charm. A shame that it doesn't appear more often and doesn't off many people. The film seems more concerned with things like plot and character but lacks the talent or interest for the more cerebral approach. Still, the actors seem to be having fun, often broad to the point of hilarity, between them they conjure a bubbling brew of shonky goodness. The biggest name is b cinema notable Stuart Lancaster, of various Russ Meyer and other Buchanan films fame. He plays a slightly mad scientist, thus gets some fun scenery chewing time, and comically daft motivation. He enters into the spirit of things well, though is slightly restrained for the role. Love interest Miki McKenzie is occasionally incomprehensible, probably best for her as she grapples with her off written character and stiff conversations with hero with the piece, the strapping young Barry Buchanan. Not exactly a thespian is Barry, but he still carries the film well enough, that is to say he stoically hefts his scenes along, handles his dialogue like timber but at least he keeps it moving. Sandy Kenyon is slightly left out by the fact that he appears near competent and so doesn't make as much of an impression. Main plaudits go to Doc Livingston with a fiercely exaggerated Scots accent, his r rolling grizzled old timer is a total hoot. Its lucky that the acting is of interest, since there's a good deal of talk here, (biology, romance, conspiracies, that sort of thing) and the film is a bit slow, there are also padding shots a-plenty to keep things going. The pleasing location means that these shots are generally attractive, but Buchanan rarely puts them to suspenseful use and the film too often slides towards the dull. Still some interesting moments (and one bit that I actually found pretty creepy) but mostly this is skippable for all but bad movie connoisseurs.

I think this is one of those few movies that I want to rate it as low as possible just to pay it a compliment.I haven't seen this movie in about 25 years, so I really can't say that much about it. It still seems to be very hard to find on video. But I remember my brother and I stumbled upon it somewhere in the toxic brew of late night UHF channel television of the mid 1980s when I was about 10 years old. So I've never actually seen the beginning of the movie, but I saw most of it. The first thing I remember is this couple is sneaking out of a campsite and they're rowing to an island to make out, and then they get attacked by an insane Scotsman in a kilt with an axe! They manage to escape from him but get attacked by the Loch Ness Monster, which in this movie is just a head and a neck with no body. The eyes and the mouth of the monster don't even move, it looks like a piñata.I mean I had just literally never seen anything on this magnitude before and it totally blew my mind. I had seen some bad movies on TV in the early 80s but I had never seen something so totally inept and so casually and thoughtlessly constructed that it seemed like the people who made it spent less time and effort on it than we did watching it. I had already seen some of the Troma films and that type of thing that tries to deliberately be "campy", but this was the pure and real stuff and it was my first encounter with truly great bad film-making. This movie was like the last gasp of the drive-in era and I caught a whiff of it just in time. Actually when we were watching it, we couldn't figure out if it was made in the 50s or the 70s. Turns out it came out just a few years before I saw it.Later I came into contact with Mystery Science Theater and found out about a lot of the old B movies and serials, but I had already seen it in this movie. The movie is so funny that I had never even laughed that hard at the Monty Python crew or Bill Murray or any comedian. After seeing this movie I was always trying to search for the "good bad" movies and I got a lot of my friends into it. But this movie was and basically is an impossible one to find. I never really found out what it even was or who Larry Buchanan was until the 1990s when IMDb took off and the internet took off and information started getting passed around. But this movie still needs to be discovered by a lot of others who might appreciate its transcendentally bad qualities. Look for it.

If it wasn't for Loch Ness we would never see such corny delights about Nessie. Larry Buchanan's take on this Scottish legend is quite entertaining at times as movies about monsters made of plastic can be. The fake is hilarious, the fake Scottish accents are funny. The kill-scenes cracked me up. I also loved the fact that there were more American tourists and Nessie-hunters from Houston, Tx invading Loch Ness then actual locals living there. Still, this film never reaches the cheesy heights the classic trailer promises. Not a total loss though, makes a cool double feature along with THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER (1977).