The Wicker Man (2013)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Good start, but then it gets ruined

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Blistering performances.

A British cult classic film which uses intelligence, tension and thrills, over a big budget, blood and gore to deliver a haunting vision which leaves something with you.Edward Woodward plays Sergeant Howie, a police man who is sent to a Scottish island village (The Summerisle) to investigate the disappearance of a young girl, Rowan Morrison. Things begin to get strange when the small community deny any knowledge of her; furthermore their own behaviour bemuses Sgt Howie too - some are openly promiscuous, some sing strange songs of life and creation. Although he already suspects it, meeting Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee) confirms that the inhabitants of the island follow Pagan traditions. Howie must try to uphold the law of a Christian country, deep within Pagan territory, which means working against what the inhabitants of the island see as normal, and he, the law, and Christian religion - see as wrong and immoral. A massive twist at the end of the film promises a memorable and haunting conclusion to the film. The picture shows what can be accomplished with a small budget. The stars of the film are undoubtedly Woodward and Lee who carry this film, probably more so Woodward, as Lee doesn't appear for long periods of time. This is Edward Woodward before his famed role as TV's "Equalizer". Christopher Lee appears in this after his stint in a lot of Hammer films, proving that he can do something other than out and out horror roles. The supporting cast didn't really deliver brilliant performances, but in the context of a British 1970's film, they didn't look out of place either. As an example, it seems obvious to me that Britt Ekland isn't there for her acting or singing ability - but other assets, which she finely displays! The film looks lovely and bright; it uses a lot of natural colours of nature which helps the theme of the film somewhat. The music in it is beautiful and haunting at the same time - it's just a pity that the dubbing is obvious for the most part. This is not the only thing which is a little out of place, some of the sequences including flashbacks and random dancing/cavorting aren't done that well, some choppy and some with an overuse of cross-fade, but not enough to make you lose track of what's going on. The pace of the film isn't always easy, and certain parts during the beginning and middle can be a little dull, but as a whole it all works - I just keep telling myself, this film is nearly 50 years old. I just put these down to the film being from the 70's and using techniques of the time - and this film does feel pretty much like a film of its time. One thing that isn't necessary just of the time; and something that's interesting and relevant to see almost 50 years after the film was released is the religious messages/stance. A lot of the religious conflict in this seems to be apparent in the world today still: two (or more) sides or beliefs banging heads against each other with neither willing to back down, ultimately with somebody suffering. There isn't a right or wrong, it just depends on which side you sit to justify the actions - and in this instance much like real examples - which side has the biggest number of people. This film does that and through following a more typical western point of view of Christianity into a Pagan world it makes the viewer that little bit more alienated, and that little bit more shocked by the end. This is a great film, not the best horror film you'll see, but absolutely one of the best cult films you'll see. It's actually difficult to put this into a genre, many people would argue is horror but it's not, nor is it a thriller, action or detective film. It's a bit of a lot but nothing in specific - but one thing that is absolutely apparent by the end of it, it's clever, intelligent and it's make you think. While the ending has been spoiled over and over again, go into this film with an open mind and you won't be disappointed. 8 out of 10.

This movie sure gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "burning pig."Now that we have tasteless "jokes" out of the way let's unwrap this literal Celtic straw man.The most powerful part for me was the end with the cop (Edward Woodward) praying to his Christian God while the people outside were praying to their Celtic Neopagan gods and the flick ending with a close-up on the sun that, if anthropomorphized, would probably say "these primates must be crazy." The amount of sheer loneliness and helplessness the cop must have felt during his last minutes on Earth had to be beyond excruciating.God, those over-abundant sing-along muscial-y interludes were more dreadful than the whole "human sacrifice" shebang though. Sure, it gave the movie a "creepy" feeling and culminated wonderfully in the last scene of the movie but other than that it was pure torture. Just watching the movie should be enough to bring harvest to at least a thousand Neopagan island societies.Now there is not much to say about the rest of the movie which felt like a regular episode out of a generic contemporary Bri'ish TV cop drama. It all started with "harmless" police-obstructing activities of fun pranks and pub jokes and feigning ignorance with good-spirited quasi-hippie songs slipped here and there and eventually getting to the surreal David Lynchian tipping point and afterwards it was clowning around in jester costumes and then some. Suffice to say this stubborn cop wasn't exactly an exemplary Sherlock Holmes but your typical uptight stubborn fascist bureaucrat in a state security suit who no wonder ended up trapped on the island. Now now, I realize that the movie wasn't ever supposed to be about a cunning detective cracking bizarre homicide cold case and have "boys down the station" giving them a congratulatory pat on the back and being ordered a knight/dame by the Queen herself afterwards but more about one of Queen Elizabeth's Finest thinking he can arrest the entire "heathen" island alone while not seeing the obvious that's in front of him but nevertheless, color me curious, what would S.H. do? I am sure he would successfully turn the gullible villages against Summerisle himself since Watson would meanwhile fetch all the evidence villagers needed to see to be convinced (the poor copper didn't have anything on him except his fool(ish) costume) and wrapping it up perfectly by appearing at the Summerisle estate with Summerisle completely flabbergasted, the old dog. And instead of a borderline cynical close-up shot of the careless sun we would have a tender intimate close-up of Watson acting all incredulous "b-but how did you know that Rowan was on it all along?" with Holmes confidently responding "The E-word, my dear Watson."Now, the overall theme is kinda dated and fits shlocky B-flicks that are based on the "us modern civilized upright Christian citizens" vs. "creepy weird tribes and hidden retrograde cults" trope and the entertainment and cheap shock derived from this clash of values. This type of "spooky children-of-the-corn cult thriller" genre, and particularly this movie, can be interpreted multiple ways: * We can see it as a silly oversimplification of polytheist/nature worship religions, plus putting a "spooky" spin to it -- and considering from the historical standpoint that the 1970s WAS basically the golden age of cults we could take it as a jab at these cults but with an awkward blend of basic imagery from these innocuous nature religions, showing them in a negative light by association. * Another could be taken as good ol' Christian-leaning British conseravative pandering ("See how barbarous are these creepy pagans? You ought to be glad to be in good company of Jesus Christ & friends & The Queen, innit"). * Another as an English director painting fictitious Scottish villagers the same way some Yankee director from New York comes to shoot a spooky thriller in the south where they show Southern fellows engaged in simplistic gun-totin' Bible-thumpin' moonshine-brewin' endeavors. * Another as an egalitarian poke at all religions because it doesn't matter how innocent or "righteous" it is, at the end of the day when the sun goes down you are still going to look foolish (like a jester; that was a good one, Robin Hardy) when you think a "prayer" or a "human sacrifice" will grant you a bountiful harvest - but, God forbid, if you don't try, right?Now, The Wicker Man is a smorgasbord of all the above; it could work well as a religious satire (and it does) as well as a "spooky thriller" and also a dated critique of cults in general. Whatever the case, it was a fun movie. Chilly setting, sly villain, dense cop, 70s hairy humans, what else to wish for? Well, actually nothing, I don't wish to watch this movie again.* * * "And on that bed there was a girl And on that girl there was a man And from that man there was a seed And from that seed there was a boy And from that boy there was a man And for that man there was a grave From that grave there grew ... a tree"

This movie is so 70s, theaters offered 3-for-1 seats so guys could park their sideburns. This movie is so 70s, you'll need a special 8-track adapter to play it in your blu-ray. This movie is so 70s, the only bras you'll see are on Erin Go.(Get it? Erin go bra--? OK I'll stop now.)Ah yes, the 70s thriller. Stepford Wives, Coma, The China Syndrome, and the 70sest of them all, "The Wicker Man" are films characterized by a very cynical and existentialist "lone person against a world gone mad" vibe which probably mirrored society's reluctant awakening from 60s hippie flower power into the catastrophic reality of the Cold War, Watergate, and Volkswagen discontinuing production of the Beetle which I still can't believe."The Wicker Man" is the pinnacle of 70s awesomeness, beginning with the lone protagonist Sgt. Howie (Edward Woodward) arriving on an island of creepy, smiling, sex obsessed folks and their leader Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee), proceeding through bizarre musical numbers as comedically dark as anything in The Rocky Horror Picture Show but with traditional Irish instruments, gaining momentum as our hero quickly pieces together the clues of a murder/disappearance which the townsfolk "cover up" with about as much subtlety as the Three Mile Island nuke meltdown, and finally depositing us at a dramatic, exciting conclusion as shocking and perfect as the death of disco."The Wicker Man" has it all. Well, everything except for Nicolas Cage's epic bad acting in the remake ("Oh god not the bees!!" Lmao). No, despite the fact that I may sound like I'm calling this movie campy, it's actually very well done. You'll be amazed at how a single scene can blend singing & dancing with murder, powerful acting, the sexual frustration of our 40 year old virgin hero, and a seductive nude number courtesy of the delectable Britt Ekland, homina homina. Did I just blow your mind? Well buckle up your bell bottoms because it gets better, bucko.But rather than reveal anything more of the story, I'll just leave it to you to experience. If you're a fan of 70s thrillers like the ones I've mentioned, as well as lesser known cult gems like "A Boy and His Dog", "Phantasm" and "Zardoz", then pull up your favorite bean bag, dim the lava lamps, pop open a Fresca and watch "The Wicker Man". This movie is BOSS, daddy-O!

British film director Robin Hardy, who passed away this year at the age of 86, only made three movies during his lifetime, and his debut feature THE WICKER MAN, now has undergone a long way to become a religious horror cult after its initial cold shoulder from critics and audience upon its release in its home turf. In the brief preface before the opening credits, Sergeant Howie (Woodward) is seen as a devout Christian, which underpins his martyr-status like Jesus in the Eucharist. Shortly after, the film relocates entirely on an Scottish island, Summerisle, where Howie comes to tackle with the case of a missing young girl, only gets increasingly miffed and discombobulated through the investigation where Celtic paganism is blatantly worshipped by its villagers, what's more horrific is that his advent is completely premeditated with a hidden agenda, and there is absolutely no way for him to leave this insular place.Far from being a conventional jump-scare horror fare, a salient feature of THE WICKER MAN is its mysterious set-up towards the final money-shot, which is constituted of a magnanimous supply of ethereal folk songs, often in diegetic forms, imbues a distinctly ritualistic otherworldliness, where symptoms of degeneration and heresy suffuse the film: the flagrant lies, the open-air lovemaking (with women uniformly stay on top), the eroticized close-up of a snail as an emblem of carnal consummation, the unorthodox teaching school children about phallic worship, a frog-swallowing medical treatment, a wriggling nude dance of telepathic seduction, the May Day celebration with animal costumes, masquerades and escapades. To a modern viewer who takes a more clement slant on religious persuasion, these sequences are mind-opening, palatably surreal, anything but threatening if they are not benighted enough to believe in human sacrifice. However, that is the road where this lucid story heads, the collision course between Christianity and paganism is inexorable, Hardy and screenwriter Anthony Shaffer pull no punches to leave its audience downright astonished, refuse to tamper the ending with a deus ex machina. So that is all she writes, a cunningly composed tale of religion foolery to an appalling effect. Certainly Sgt. Howie doesn't deserve this denouement, but surprisingly, there is less pathos out of it, since Woodward's stern and self-righteous performance doesn't make him a sympathetic hero, he is obstinately blunt and incredulously naive, could he have been more tactful and less religion- frenetic, at least, he would have find some ally among the folks, perhaps someone who hasn't been completely brainwashed by Lord Summerisle (Lee), thus it would turn out to be another story less confrontational. Overall, the cast is adequately one-dimensional, save the almighty Christopher Lee, who is visibly relishing in his suave and eloquent mastermind persona, a true form of evil but a charismatic villain who can compellingly entrance his adherents.With the iconic "wicker man" image immutably leaving an indelible fingerprint on audience's mind, Robin Hardy's one-hit-wonder promisingly retains its inimitable appeal by coalescing the horror genre with such inherently incongruous epithets as gaily, lilting and a hero's undoing.