Razorteeth (2005)

What a beautiful movie!

Good idea lost in the noise

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

RAZORTEETH is the cheapest piranha movie you'll ever watch and an absolute embarrassment of an indie production. It was shot on video and has a couple of model piranha in one or two shots. The rest is an endless, drawn-out mess of inferior acting and poor plotting. At least 90% of the running time is made up of scenic lakeside shots leaving this entirely boring and without merit.

This series of frames (I cannot force myself to call it "movie," sorry) is appalling, mesmerizing, unbelievable... You can't miss it!!If you feel like spending one evening by laughing uncontrollably at your TV screen, this is the movie for you. Don't look for mundane film-things like a story, character development or a satisfying climax - those things are left to the amateurs. This is beyond any possible human comprehension.Here's what I think the movie is about: there are some US Army ships, a couple of choppers (stock footage filmed by the writers while on vacation, or so is said in the commentary), then a bunch of scuba divers find in a submarine some frozen piranha in Ziplock bags, there is probably a plane with a lot of smoke and a crash-landing in a lake. I think. Suddenly, the piranha are free in the lake, which has alternatively some of the murkiest and cleanest water I've ever seen. Then something happens, and the movie is over (after 1 hour and 10 minutes).Superb!! You will appreciate the complete ineptitude of setting up a story of some sort, the great locations used for the flick (the hotel by the lake has a great lobby... not!!), the Agent sent (presumably) by the Government, who seems to have the I.Q. of a beet, and everything else, including a score made by someone who was clearly watching another movie.Do not miss this movie if you want to have a ball with your friends and you enjoy talk back at films. It's a riot!!

They shouldn't have bothered leaving it open for a sequel. As bad as this was there's no chance in hell of a second movie. Plus, in one scene the agent asks for room and the manager clearly hands him a car key!! A car key, anyone who can't tell that was a car key, needs new glasses. Plus, let's talk about the climax for a moment. It's bad enough our star blindly follows order and kills everyone who wasn't killed by the six monster fish, but after he kills the fish, the Government blows them up. I'm sorry, if the Government can't keep a simple burglary secret, then I can't believe they could get away with making illegal bio-weapons. To future film makers out there. Here's a hint, if you want to make a good movie. One people will watch and want sequels to. Then please, please spend more then a mere 25 grand, I can't stress this enough, spend more then 25 grand. It's impossible to make a good movie with that low of budget. Use this as an example of what not to do.I give this steaming pile of rotting fish the NOOSE as well.

No spoilers here, because your experience is already spoiled from the moment you begin to watch the film. There can't be an accurate rating for this film because you can't measure a rating that low. This garbage was shot on video and is horrible, horrible, horrible. The acting, if you call it that was beyond painful, more painful than the so called pain that was inflicted on the hapless victims of the piranha. You could do better with your own video camera and friends that would work for free. Very amateur and very lame. Watch only if you must see this travesty for yourself. Rent the original "Piranha" instead. Check please.