Teenage Exorcist (1991)

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Don't buy a house from Michael Berryman. Or a pizza for that matter. And if Eddie Deezen delivers said pizza, you know you're in real trouble. When college student Diane (Stevens) moves into a spacious Hollywood home, little does she know that the spirit of the nefarious Baron DeSade (Howell) - who is pure evil, yet a homebody (he shouts "I shall live here forever!!!!") - still inhabits the space. This somehow turns the bookish and cute Diane into a demon-possessed dominatrix, of sorts. Her sister Sally (Sahagun), her husband Mike (Richardson), and a potential college boyfriend (Shell), along with Father McFerrin (Quarry) and Deezen, the pizza delivery boy, all cavort around the house trying to get Diane back to normal. After some hijinx involving a demon (Darrow) and a bunch of zombies, something ensues - but is it hilarity? Find out, if you dare.I've never really been a fan of horror comedies. With the possible exception of Dead Alive (1992), usually they just seem like excuses to be neither funny nor scary. However, AIP seems to like them, having released this, and the very similar Speak of the Devil (1991) from the same year. Both have evil stuff lurking in the basement, and neither of them are that funny. But of the two, Teenage Exorcist is better. For one thing, the cast seems to be having fun. Unfortunately, it's not contagious for the audience. You do almost crack a smile a few times, but only because the humor is so old-fashioned. It's almost vaudeville, and seeing as how Brinke Stevens is credited with the screenplay (although it was co-written with Ted Newsom, though he was uncredited because of a Writer's Guild issue. I learned this from listening to the DVD commentary. And to answer your questions, yes, there is a DVD. And yes, it has a commentary track. And yes, I listened to it.) - unless she was over 80 years old or so at the time of writing (and looking really good) - it's kind of inexplicable why the gags seem like they should be from such an earlier vintage.So that makes Teenage Exorcist sort of a cross between Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) and Repossessed (1990), what with its old dark house and exorcist jokes. Also to the movie's credit is the fact that it has a title song, a very catchy pop-metal ditty that would seem perfect for Hardcore Superstar to do a cover of. Elsewhere, it has a jaunty score underscoring such scenes as Brinke's milk inflating and deflating (a sure sign evil doings are afoot), and her carrying in her mustard in a big brown box as she moves into her house. But it does its best with its low budget - it all takes place, for the most part, in one location - the house (it looks like the house from Mirror Mirror 3 (1995). Even some of the end credits are first names only, kind of underscoring the buddy-buddy vibe. And, of course, when the first credit before the title of the movie are the words "Eddie Deezen in..." you know you're in for a treat (?) But it also has Hoke Howell of Action USA (1989) fame, as well as Sahagun of Ring of Fire II (1993) and Tiger Heart (1996) fame. For a proposed first version of this movie, Fred Olen Ray made a trailer only, and it has Cam Mitchell. Too bad he couldn't appear in the final version.So while the title is a misnomer (there is no teenage exorcist in the film - there was supposed to be, but in an inexplicable casting decision, the teenage girl was replaced by Eddie Deezen!), if you're in the mood for some good-natured mediocrity with a mild sexy edge, Teenage Exorcist could just be the movie for you.

This shoestring budget parody of "The Exorcist", is a hit or miss affair. A strong beginning is ushered in by the catchy theme song, followed by some totally gratuitous nudity, and amusing situations. All this leads up to the "posession" and attempted exorcism by a priest. The acting is not too bad and the story flows nicely until Eddie Deezen arrives on the scene. At this point, "Teenage Exorcist" loses it's way, and destructs, mostly due to Deezen's annoying "schtick". Michael Berryman's part is very minor, but his presence alone is a plus. Overall, a pretty good first half, and a catchy theme song, carry it until the disappointing conclusion. - MERK

Earlier this year, I saw Fred Olen Ray's horror-comedy "Evil Toons", in which some young women spend the night in a house and accidentally release an evil cartoon character. I never would have guessed - though I should have figured - that Ray had just a year earlier co-written the completely ridiculous but absolutely lovable "Teenage Exorcist". This one has a similar plot: young Diane (Brinke Stevens) moves into a mansion previously inhabited by a certain Baron de Sade. Sure, Diane starts hearing strange noises, and the evil spirits possess her before too long. But right before the possession, she calls her sister Sally (Elena Sahagun) and tells her to come over. So, Sally and her business-obsessed husband Mike (Jay Richardson) arrive and find Diane acting quite unusual.From there...well, let me just put it this way. There's a shower scene, and I can't begin to tell you how hot Elena Sahagun is! When Diane's hubby Jeff (Tom Snell) arrives, there's a major confusion about the circumstances! A priest (Robert Quarry) comes to the mansion, only to have to deal with zombies! But it's only when a pizza delivery guy (Eddie Deezen, of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and "1941" fame) enters the movie that the really great scenes come about. Of course, Eddie Deezen can make pretty much anything cool, and he sure does here. Also starring Michael Berryman (of "The Hills are Alive" fame).All in all, this movie has pretty much everything that one would expect in such a flick. Nice, silly brain candy it is, especially due to the comments from the guy at the pizza parlor. I'd like to be able to get recordings of all Eddie Deezen's lines, and perpetually watch the shots of Elena Sahagun naked and...well, I won't spoil that scene. But this is certainly a very entertaining movie. A true forerunner to "Evil Toons" (especially with what the "Evil Toons" DVD shows right before the movie starts!).

This is probably one of the worst B movie parodies - but it is bad enough to be pretty entertaining. The plot is nothing new - a college girl buys a haunted house, and gets possessed by a demon. To her rescue comes her sister (who has two full gratuitous nudity scenes - not bad for a parody), stoic brother-in-law (he seems to be the only sensible person in the film, but then again, not very sensible), her would-be boyfriend (the type that calls all the time), a pretty useless priest (random Latin expressions are NOT a good way to expel demons), and instead of the spiritual holy man backup, a pizza boy ($56.95 ... plus tip).I really recommend this movie to anyone who is tired enough to keep watching the screen and / or to laugh at just about anything.