The Haunted Sea (1997)

Really Surprised!

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

MAJOR SPOILERS! I hate to say this, speaking as a man and all. But there was way too much nudity in this film. This has got to be some kind of record for nudity in a non-porno flick. There has got to be twenty to thirty minutes just for nudity. The creature effects were okay, for a snakeman. But as per the norm with anyone connected to Roger Cormen, they don't do their "RESEARCH". If you want to talk about something as widely known as the Aztec Gods, you don't use your imagination, you go with the facts. Fact, Quetzalcoatl is the winged snake God, some versions have him with legs, but with wings, where are the wings? Second, they misspelled Quetzalcoatl. Look it up! Lastly, the acting was worse then some pornos in places and then comes the OTHER SHOE ENDING. Some might ask, what is the "Other shoe ending". It's this, the monster is dead, someone escapes alive. Then the other shoe drops turning a happy ending into a bad ending. In this case it was this, stop reading if you don't really want to know. Second Mate Johnson sets the monster ablaze, she leaps out as the ship explodes behind her. Her ship searches for her for hours and finds her on board a piece of wood (ala Titanic) and a close up shows that she is transforming. That makes no sense, she out of all people know not to touch the snake statue, she never touched the snake statue. Why is this happening, it makes no sense, it's stupid. Why do these morons who make these kind of movies think that it has to have a bad ending to leave it open? Hmm? No matter how stupid they have to make it. This is how I would have done it, take notes future filmmakers. Johnson is rescued and is still human. Fade out, fade in, under the ocean, the sunken ship. Sinking out have put the fire out before it could get to the cargo hold. We pan through the treasures until we reach the snake statue, which is undamaged and the eyes are glowing. That's how you keep a movie open and not look STUPID!!!!That's why I give this good movie with a majorly stupid ending the NOOSE!

Early clues that this movie will be a complete waste of time: Gratuitous female nudity before the opening credits are over, and wobbly cameras zooming in at screeching people to simulate predator attacks. And oh look, boobs were bared again 10 minutes into the movie.Essentially this movie is similar in plot to the recent Ghost Ship - the crew of a boat find a (haunted) abandoned ship and board it. This script is crap, however. There's something about an Aztec curse, which leads to flashbacks of sacrificial rituals, which naturally requires there to be naked women. Despite the title, this is actually a monster flick. Effects are limited here (read: a monster that looks like a puppet), as is the acting. There are a few more experienced actors, and there are the actors that need a few more years of acting school before they can take up roles like "Bystander #1".I wonder what a renowned actor like James Brolin is doing in this movie. I guess before he married money... I mean Barbra Streisand, he had to find some way of paying the bills.

Along with "Grim" this is possibly the worst monster-on-the-loose horror film I have ever seen.James Brolin and Joanna Pacula are completely wasted in this piece of crap.As for Pacula,she is my favourite Polish actress but why she was involved in this disaster is beyond me.The plot is obnoxious and stupid,the monster looks incredibly fake and the special effects are mostly made up of splattering red paint/blood on the wall when someone gets hacked up.The lead actress Krista Allen is extremely annoying and incredibly wooden.To sum up,if you enjoy lame acting,cheesy gore effects and an implausible plot,then this is the film for you.If not,avoid it like the plague.

"The Haunted Sea" is an incredibly bad, cheap movie, noteworthy only for its short length and gratuitous nudity. Krista Allen-Morritt's so-big-they-won't-fit-in-a-football-helmet breasts are the true stars of this "Aliens", "Q, The Winged Serpent", and "Leviathan" rip-off, as she's topless at every possible occasion, including dream sequences and a shower scene.Casting borders on the ridiculous: extraordinarily beautiful Joanna Pacula is the freighter's 2nd-in-command, and James Brolin (Barbra Streisand's paramour) is the ship's captain who uses such nautical terms as "left" and "right."Special effects are ridiculous: the monster looks like a cheap Godilla (think of "Godzookie" on the old cartoon); animated "lightning" jumps off ancient Aztec statues; the assorted killings are amateurish at best.See it only if you have nothing better to do for it's 84 minute running time.