Krocodylus (2001)

The greatest movie ever made..!

I have absolutely never seen anything like this movie before. You have to see this movie.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Blistering performances.

"Blood Surf" (a.k.a. "Krocodylus") is one of those movies that you root for when you hear a plot description, because you are really hoping that this one will work. The basic idea is quite interesting. A new form of stunt television work, called Blood Surf, is created, in which surfers ride their boards through shark-infested waters. But instead of being chomped on by sharks, as we'd initially expect, they are hounded by a ferocious saltwater crocodile. Now that is a plot that we really want to go for. It sounds like a recipe for an enjoyable film. But alas, "Blood Surf" slam-dunks itself right into some foul water and sinks into the abysses because it suffers from the cinematic equivalence of schizophrenia. It has no idea what it should be, or more important, what it even wants to be.A full hour ellipses by the time we really start on the plot with the crocodile and by that time, the tone of the movie has undergone a one hundred-eighty-degree turn. It's at this point that we realize that "Blood Surf" is really supposed be a comedy rather than a straight shocker. So naturally, we would expect the first two-thirds to be the funny, whimsical bits and the last part straight, gruesome, and serious in mind.We would be wrong.Instead, writers Sam Bernard and Robert L. Levy decided to idiotically reverse this. If the entire movie was to be funny, you wouldn't be able to tell from the first hour. It's all down in tone and imitates realism. Then, when the crocodile appears it throws up some of the most ridiculously stupid and unbelievable twists intended to spawn laughter. For example, the crocodile chases our heroes on land but won't chase them through a river because supposedly there's chocolate plants in the water and "salties hate them!" A character quips, "I guess that's what you call croc-teasing" and the scene ends quickly, leaving us with our mouths agape. Only no sound is coming out. But the movie's ultimately lowest point is a juxtaposition of an attack by the crocodile and the lamest, most pathetic, most pointless sex scene possibly in movie history. I have griped about that cheap gimmick many times, but this is the one time where I really think it becomes almost criminally stupid.There are so many good ideas thrown shamefully to waste. The idea of blood surfing and then encountering a crocodile. The characters being captured by pirates. I was even willing to buy the redundant and monotonous subplot about the enraged, crusty sea captain wanting to hunt down the crocodile for revenge. Those are good ideas that are not developed well and this only increased by disdain for the movie. Performances, in general, are stiff but not awful, with only Ducan Regehr's being good enough to really be labeled acting. So lack of real talent in the cast does strike against it when it tries to be funny."Blood Surf" was directed by James D.R. Hickox, who made the pleasingly entertaining "Sabretooth" in 2002, so I was really hoping that this feature was going to realize its potential. But because of its lack of knowledge about itself and what it should go for, or what it even wants to go for, the picture collapses really hard and really fast. That great critic Gene Siskel once said that people should not remake classics, but bad movies, because any subject could be done well.Let's utilize his philosophy here.

I chose to watch this movie on demand very late at night one day. The idea caught my attention, some adrenaline junkies looking for a thrill decide to chum the water in order to attract sharks to boost the extremes of surfing. But when a 30-foot Crocodile is thrown into the mix. Now I thought since this was in the year 2000 that there would at least be a cheesy animatronic, which really adds to the B horror movie appeal. However to my surprise, the Crocodile appeared in a clash of horrible CG. Now giving this film a 30% does seem somewhat generous but it was entirely for the originality of the plot. Another problem I had with this film was the incredible amount of problems and stock footage. The scenes would cut to swamp, to ocean to lake. It was horrible to watch them try to cover these flaws up. The scenery did not even seem to hide the fact that the backgrounds were incredibly different. Another little problem I had with this flick was the vast amount of topless woman. It was as if they popped their tops purely to please the viewers. This movie even uses the oldest of horror movie tricks, kill the females and give us a douche of a main character that just wont die until the end of the movie is close. And even towards the end the topless women still appeared. In one scene the two women who have made it all the way without dying flash their breasts and scream out "Fuck you Alligator". I had a major problem with that, first of all it's a Crocodile not an Alligator. The cast could not even get the right species correct. And secondly, why are they taking their tops off for an Crocodile. It makes little to no sense. Overall, this movie is bad, it's filled with holes all throughout the flick. It's not even worth viewing, there really is nothing that makes this movie worth watching unless your a horny adolescent who gets off by watching flat chested women take off their tops.

Sometimes I rest my head and think about the reasons why movies about killer sharks and/or crocodiles are still getting made these days. They've been making these lame "Jaws"-copies since the 70s, it's not like they're getting any more well-liked. The idea is still exactly the same. So we have an animal that starts murdering people. First it takes down some secondary characters, then it starts attacking the main characters, usually played by a couple of nobodies except for someone who used to be a bit more famous, who usually plays a specialist. One of the main characters usually dies before the others kill the animal somehow, usually with an explosion. Then, we usually get a last shot where we see that the animal is still alive, or has laid eggs, etc. etc. "Krocodylus" basically uses the same overused ideas, and does absolutely nothing to create even a tad bit of variation. Unless you count the fact that the "specialist" is a captain in this one variation, in that case your standards are pretty low. It's funny that he's played by Duncan Regehr though, he like totally used to be Zorro.Hell I'll give it a bonus point for that.

When i first saw this movie i thought it was really crap! i mean the crocodile was so fake it was ridiculous! and some of the ways people died were extraordinary! but i thought that if you took it as a comedy instead of a horror it was really good! i actually have the film on DVD now! i think the sexy actors in it make the film great as they keep you looking!!!more to the plot! its about a group of people who originally wanted to do blood surfing which is where you make yourself bleed to attract sharks! the film is called blood surf yet there isn't much of it in the film! ironic! anyway the end up on this island where they are being picked off one by one by a 40ft crocodile! i think the film is quite good actually, but you'd have to be real strange like me to appreciate it they way i do! i wouldn't recommend it to anyone really! but i do like it myself i think that everyone should give it a chance and at least see it once! and if you don't like it then who caresbut i have to admit i think that it is a really good film but you cant take it seriously otherwise it will be rubbish!i give it a generous 6/10