The Wild, Wild Planet (1967)

Wow! Such a good movie.

Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Best movie ever!

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

Somewhere in space, a deranged scientist is attempting to bioengineer a race of perfect humans while back on Earth, his beautiful minions and their creepy mutant helpers are harvesting people for his evil manipulations. Can heroic space-cop Mike Halstead (Tony Russell) and crew can stop him before he completes his diabolical transformation? This is the first of the four "Gamma One" movies, a series of cheap-looking but colourful and imaginative Italian science fiction adventures loosely tied together by the eponymous space station. The films have a novel aesthetic, differing from contemporary Japanese and American space-operas, and very much reflect the popular view of the future in the mod 1960's (i.e. the future will look like the '60's but with cool gadgetry). Unfortunately, most of the special effects and miniature shots are reused in the series (which were shot concurrently) and the novelty quickly fades. The vibrant but dated groovy-ness of the film has elevated it to cult status and, as most people will watch the film for its visuals, the fact that the story makes little sense, the pace leaden at times (especially the villain's expository 'tour' of his secret base), and the acting/script atrocious is of little concern.

Jack-of-all-trades director Antonio Margheriti is primarily known for his horror output, but he also took time out in the '60s to direct a handful of low-budget yet colourful science fiction epics termed "space operas". WILD, WILD PLANET is probably the most entertaining of his sci-fi movies, a fast-paced and action-packed tale involving all manner of weird and wonderful creations and colourful, tacky set designs. If one film could exemplify the swinging '60s then this retro-gem would be the one. Where else would you find caped dancers with huge butterflies painted on their capes dancing before a rapt audience? Surprisingly this film lacks an American lead this time around but there are many familiar Italian faces in the cast list. Tony Russel takes the lead as Mike Halstead and is great as the no-nonsense commander who finds himself embroiled in an extremely weird mystery. Lisa Gastoni is his pretty but cold girlfriend who finds herself in the clutches of the typical mad scientist chap, played by Massimo Serato. Serato has a ball with his good-natured but corrupted evil scientist and makes for a superb choice as a villain. A very young-looking Franco Nero also appears in the film as Jake, one of Halstead's men who will do anything to protect his boss.I find it difficult to do a linear review for a film like this so instead, I'll just create a list of all the cool stuff it has in it. Firstly, Margheriti was obviously really into his model-making phase here, as each and every shot of space vehicles or futuristic city has been created in miniature. It may not make for the most realistic science fiction film ever but it's certainly one of the most unintentionally amusing - check out the spaceship that flies back and forth on a wobbly wire! There's also a car accident which involves a model car flying off a mound of earth and is damn hilarious to watch. Elsewhere we have supposed astronauts rocking to and fro on barely-hidden wires while their fellow actors look on in surprise. We have brightly-coloured futuristic cars which somehow look very sixties in their design and unconvincing. There's a plethora of weird and wonderfully colourful costumes on display and lots of fake scientific equipment which nonetheless looks cool. The film contains a pack of female fighters who certainly have the upper hand on their male counterparts during a hotel room battle where martial arts moves are all the rage, and the women disappear into nothing when beaten. We have bald villains in black macs and sunglasses (inconspicuous see) going around and shrinking people. The miniature people are later discovered hidden inside suitcases in a state of suspended animation much to the horror of minor cast members. One such character shrinks a doctor but only half completes the process, turning the man into an unhappy dwarf! Later on we discover the bald men are in fact clones and have four arms for some reason. I don't really know why but it looks cool anyway.The film gets even better towards the end as Halstead and his men invade the enemy planet and infiltrate the base. A battle with guards takes place and lots of guys die by having blowtorches - sorry, flame-spewing guns - shot at their chests and being burnt. The good guys are later captured when a huge steel box is simply dropped on them out of the sky. The baddie takes time out to explain all of his evil schemes and we even get to see a room of genetic failures, or more realistically overacting Italians in bad makeup. It turns out that the evil scientist desires (more than anything else in the world) to merge himself with a woman! The excellent finale sees the enemy base destroyed (again mostly in miniature) by a flood of red water - I guess that's the risk you take when you build your base UNDERNEATH a huge lake! Lots of things explode and people scream as they drown, including the lead villain Massimo Serato. Luckily the good guys escape in conveniently-placed capsules and simply pop to the surface. The epilogue shows them relaxing and womanising by the poolside in a typically sexist '60s Italian way familiar to anyone who's seen a Euro-spy flick. On top of all this we have some cheesy dubbing and hilarious dialogue ("you helium-headed idiot" was a particular favourite of mine). WILD, WILD PLANET is hugely entertaining and far-out movie which is why I recommend it wholeheartedly to sci-fi fans looking for something other than the more mundane and boring fare.

All the makings of a cult classic are here, yet this film is scarcely known to most viewers. In the not-too-distant future, someone is capturing various citizens of earth, leaving no trace. Buxom, bee-hived ladies cause a mild distraction while bald, sunglass-wearing, zombie-like men accost the victims, shrinking them to the size of fashion dolls. The pair then collect the victim's leftover clothing and skulk away. Russel plays a space commander who makes it his business to solve the mystery, especially when it becomes evident that a curvy Lieutenant (Gastoni) who he loves has become a captive as well. He encounters governmental resistance along with the forces of the party behind the kidnappings as he tries to rescue Gastoni. This film is filled to the brim with wacko, mod 60's clothing, make-up and hair. Though many of the actors are shown speaking English, virtually all their voices are (awkwardly) dubbed over, giving the film a strenuously cheesy feel. The use of miniatures is highly prevalent and obvious. (One could be forgiven for thinking this is a Gerry Anderson project at first, though Anderson would never allow some of the shoddier effects on display to be used.) The models themselves are okay, but the execution and the filming of them is pretty bad. One scene takes place during the day on the ground and during the night from above! There's also a red craft that flits around like a dangling yo-yo on a string and makes no sense at all. The vehicles in the film look neat, but can't possibly be taken seriously when they tend to zoom around slower than most people can walk! Russel is a handsome, but very bland, leading man. He rarely shows any personality or life, but he isn't offensively bad either. Gastoni has a fair amount of spunk at first, but soon becomes an inert piece of window-dressing. Serato plays a sinister-looking corporate employee with an interest in genetics and does a nice job. The biggest treat is seeing a very young and very delicious Nero as one of Russel's sidekicks. His role is small, but he's attractive and valiant. The men carry firearms (literally) that they call laser guns, but which actually come off like cigarette lighters that have been turned up on high! The music score is very unusual, but effective, mostly consisting of metallic hums and clanks. Several hysterical set pieces highlight the film. In one, a man is about to be taken, but the process is interrupted and he emerges as a half-shrunken dwarf, still wearing his full-grown clothes! In another, a (literally!) standing room only theatre shows a horrendous "show" involving a black man and several white women in tights and butterfly wings flopping around to music as the audience stares on, rapt with attention. There's also an extended, hooty, knock-down, drag-out fight between three officers and three nightgown-clad villainesses. The climax takes place in a massive facility that is flooded with red water, providing a certain amount of excitement. Best of all is the denouement when Russel appears in the teensiest, most snug little bathing suit (while, inexplicably, Nero's comes up to his chin!), showing off a nice physique that was covered up through the rest of the movie.

Like Plan Nine From Outer Space (which is only slightly worse), Wild Wild Planet is an absolute must-see if only for the unintentional laughs and the I-Can't-Believe-This-Got-Released reaction. The "City of the Future" set is so obviously a model that it took me a while to realize they were trying to fool me into thinking it was a city. The star troopers patrol the city in a flying saucer dangling from a string. Instead of "nit-wit", the insult of choice is "helium head." And the scene that actually made me laugh out loud...when the star troopers get to the planet Doofus...er, Delphus, they are given a tour of the facility, which includes a "space conditioning" room. In it, there are these rotating "steam boxes" with men in them, only their heads are visible, and they slowly go around and around like some goofy little carnival ride. I split a gut! And then there's the Proteo Theatre, which features a gay production of Madame Butterfly or something, set to music by the Ventures...oh, yes, friends, this is a hoot. Grab some popcorn and a glass of Saurian Brandy, and drink a toast to the way we thought things were going to be now, back in the 60's.