Crash and Burn (1990)

Thanks for the memories!

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

The year is 2030, a remote TV station has been infiltrated by a Synthoid, a Terminator-like robot who is programmed to kill those who oppose the tyrannical Unicom organization.With B film execution Crash and Burn steals some concept elements from Class of 1999, The Terminator, Robocop, Blade Runner and The Thing to name a few. Although it's slow-paced there's room for a gratuitous shower, electrocution scene, shogun action and stop motion animation, anyone familiar with the studio offerings will appreciate the pace and tone. Oddly dubiously marketed as Robot Jox 2 or from the makers of Arena (don't expect the fights of Arena or Jox) as it contains less than a minute of giant Robot action. Director Charles Band (this generations Roger Corman) gives a tight little flick that benefits from being filmed on location giving it an almost cinematic feel. The shadowy setting gives it some atmosphere with a dusty desert setting bookending the film and the Synthoid is menacing at times - realised by some surprisingly good practical special make-up effects. Despite borrowing music cues from Richard Band's other Fullmoon film scores the music is effective enough.Lead Paul Ganus as Keen wields a shotgun well enough but he looks like he's just walked off a Danielle Steele TV adaptation. Co-star Megan Ward as Arren gives a solid performance considering the sparse script. Supporting cast include Jack McGee and veteran actor Ralph Waite, Eva La Rue gives physical performances (and like Ward went on to do bigger things). There's also some genuinely humours lines from Bill Moseley as Quinn who ensures the title of the film is uttered in J.S. Cardone's dialogue. Even though Crash and Burn doesn't pretend to be more than it is the casual viewer may be disappointed. All things considered, even with the future looking suspiciously like the 1980s, right down to the computer hardware, braces and hairdos it's one of Fullmoons better outings.

At least it doesn't live up to its title, which is a good thing. Crash and burnnnnnn. On the other hand it might have been more exciting if it did. I don't know, but I remember liking this straight-to-video b-grade action / Sci-fi fare by Charles Band when I saw it for the first time many moons ago, but upon my recent re-watch I was left slightly under whelmed. Boy did it take awhile for something remotely riveting to occur. My excitement early on arose from catching a glimpse of a movie poster of "The Angry Red Planet" on the wall. Not once, but twice. Outside a pouting Megan Ward and Jack McGee (in a truly offensive mood), everyone else acts robotic. Is this to throw us off…? I don't think so. Bill Moseley is the life of the party… as what starts off as uncharacteristic (in a slumber mood) later on has you thinking now I'm watching Moseley perform. Paul Ganus is your typical handsome, but stoic lead who catches the eyes of the ladies (young and old). He doesn't do much at first, other than look serious. All in a good days work. Actually I guess sex was on mind. Nothing else. Nothing more. As after getting that out of the way (about mid-way through the movie), while lying in bed (for about 10 seconds) his character was thinking straight (well its either that or he's considerably slow off the blocks) and it came to him that something wasn't quite right (during a "heart-pounding" test set-up to find out if everyone trapped in this remote TV station was who they said they were). Now that he knows who the evil corporate Sythnoid robot in disguise is. Although we the audience (and Ward) have already figured that out long ago. It's time to be a hero. Jump out of bed, break the emergency glass and grab the shotgun. Then get pummelled and shot. Talk about an effective hero. However this is when things do liven up. Nasty jolts, stupid one-liners, robots going haywire and Ward making everyone around her look like dummies. "Hey, kiss this!". Director Charles Band does an economical job with J.S Cardone's material and recycles Richard Band's music talents. Visually is works cementing a futuristic wasteland, as the setting is taut and the paranoid unease is felt. In the dying stages you can see where most of the money went to and the effects of the battery powered tinbot put those recent CGI drenched transformers films to shame. Mildly amusing low-rent Full Moon fodder.

Ok, this is not a great movie. But it doesn't attempt to be. It's B movie city, and for that, it's not a half bad movie.Full Moon productions continues to impress me, with the atmosphere and great b movie schlock they can create, with a shoestring budget.

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs ...I don't know what other people (other IMDB reviewers,for example)might think of me,judging me by myself or by my reviews,but I've never thought I was that much of a demanding individual.I've always thought I was quite easy going and undemanding as a person.I try not to winge when things don't go my way,or if I have to do a job for other people.I know other people who've tossed stones at old people's houses,or taken drugs like draw and got pregnant at an early age.Yes,stones are readily available for those nasty,thoughtless people to throw at their own pleasure,yes,draw and sex are there to be consumed whenever the mood suits them.So,okay,I decide to take a risk..I decide to spend a fiver of my hard earned money on a video I had'nt previously seen,which on impulse,I would never usually do.I buy it from this really convienient store in the market,which is'nt perhaps majorly up to date,but still sells old or forgotten films,at cheap prices,which I think is really ace.Judging by the cover and the Sci-Fi genre attached to it,heck,even by the supposedly brilliant plotline on the back of it,I thought Crash And Burn would be a risk worth taking.Then,after I've seen Coronation Street,I race upstairs to watch this baby.Hello,what's this?Not 2 seconds in,and already I've noticed this is'nt shot like a regular film.That's probably one of the biggest,in my many ,complaints about Crash And Burn:if every other film can manage to be shot like a proper film(even the realy,really bad ones)why the hell can't this one pull itself together and do the same thing?This is shot like a poloroid-cum-video recorder.That was my first step towards getting really angry and fed up with this film.In fact,it was the main thing that bugged me about it throughout.Not once did it appear to improve.I'm aware it has the (V)for video symbol by it,but what,is that a direct excuse for crappiness ?(does this serve as a direct example with the Billy Blanks dud 'Tough And Deadly?).And,what from the back looked like it was going to serve like an original and exciting Sci-Fi venture went totally downhill from there.The special effects were diabolical,the acting was abysmal,the dialogue was atrocious , although the end line 'you really felt for her?Well,she'd only break your heart...then tear it out'had some credit to it.But that only led to a glaring implausibility error that the hero had had sex with the female robot and not noticed she was'nt a real person.And that only lead to the fact this was the only movie I knew that thought it was being clever by giving a human-looking-robot it's own name,a synthoid.Every other Sci-Fi movie calls them cyborgs.And that only led to the fact that the main 'synthoid' in question is a pathetic Terminator rip-off,that gets done in at the end by an impressive giant robot,which we only see for a brief glimpse then disappears,presumably to a better movie because this giant robot has much more talent than all the actors in this drivel.He was cool. , He quashes him in a standard better suited to the Wrigley's Spearmint gum adverts ,the only thing missing was the 'pluuurp'sound.It really is very unfair.All I asked for was decent entertainment.Society,and hollywood,really should set better examples than this.*