Absurd (1981)

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

Far from Perfect, Far from Terrible

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Recently, I've been trying to catch up on all the "Video Nasties" I never got a chance to see when I was younger. This time out we have the sort of unofficial sequel to Anthropophagous - The Beast. I say unofficial because there's no actual continuation of the story here, it just happens to have been directed by the same guy (one man Italian movie conveyor belt Joe D'Amato), and written by the rather large George Eastman who also plays the hulking great monsters in both films.So, in Absurd, we start with big George running away from a man in a black coat. Trying to escape over a pointy metal gate, he winds up being impaled on the spikes with his guts dribbling out of his tummy. After being taken to hospital, he undergoes surgery on something that looks like an overcooked sausage, and the doctor notes that the big man can quickly heal himself, effectively making him immortal. Well, that's handy isn't it. Oh, but he can be killed if you destroy/remove his brain. Not quite so handy.Anyway, after a quicker than average recuperation period for someone recently wearing his insides as a fashion accessory, ungrateful George kills a nurse by drilling a hole into into her head and then, for reasons best known to himself, heads back to the house where his intestines made a bid for freedom, killing anybody that gets in his way. A priest trying to be Donald Pleasence in Halloween tries to track him down, an old cop tries to help but doesn't really do a lot, and the married couple who live in the house are out watching an American football game at a neighbour's place, leaving their curly headed little boy and their invalid daughter alone with the babysitter and a sister with a baffling and intermittent Irish accent.Although Absurd isn't brilliant, it's gore scenes are better than most low budget horror films (the band saw to the head, and pick axe through the head scenes are quite impressive), and there are some quite suspenseful scenes in the latter half of the film. Unfortunately, a lot of those scenes are ruined by an over-insistent Halloween inspired theme tune obliterating much of the tension, replacing it with a mild irritation and an aversion to keyboard driven soundtracks. It's also quite fun to see, from the film's more than obvious nods to Halloween, how it seems that in turn the makers of Friday the 13th Part IV took their influence from Absurd. The indestructible killer begins his rampage in a hospital, moves to the woods, and then ends up in a house and a final battle with a vulnerable child.Where I've struggled to see why some of the other films I've watched were banned by the BBFC in the '80s, it's not too difficult to see why they didn't respond well to Absurd. It's not the nastiest thing you'll ever see (although the "acting" by the kid might very well be), but there's enough in it to see why it would have caused the censors back then a bit of concern."There's something I have to tell you". "Okay. I'm all ears". "It's about Thelma Gardelli up at the hospital. I'm afraid she was brutally murdered by that man we were operating on this morning".

Big George "New Barbarians, Baba Yaga, 2019: After the Fall of New York, Bronx Warriors 1 etc" Eastman is back, and this time, he's got his arse in his hands, quite literally! This time he's running through some town in America, pursued by Mister Edmund "I was great in Ator, Pieces, and also 2019: After the Fall of New York" Purdom "and I also directed and starred in Don't Open Till Christmas". George doesn't come out of this clash of b-movie icons well, turning up at someone's house with his guts in his hands. Next thing you know he's in hospital confusing surgeons while healing up at a rapid rate.A local cop gets involved, finding Purdom wandering about, and gets the low down: Big George is an almost indestructible killing machine in an experiment gone wrong, and Purdom is the priest/scientist sent to kill him. Only a blow to the head will suffice, which will prove difficult as by the time they all figure out what's happening George has already killed a nurse and is heading for the house he was found wounded in (perhaps he'd left some of his guts there, or something).In this house is a small, tantrum having kid, and crippled teenager, a babysitter, and a husband and wife who depart before George turns up, although the husband did do a hit and run on George earlier in the film (while George is in the process of killing actor/director Michelle Soavi!). Also, there's a nurse that turns up later, wondering why the babysitter's missing.This kind of follow up from Anthropophagus (the only link seeming being the Greek origin of the monsters) is as slow as the first film, but somehow not as satisfying. It's very gory, however, with people being drilled and sawed in the head, pickaxed in the head, chopped in the head and having their heads cooked in ovens. There's a lot of dull spots, however, like watching folks eating spaghetti, watching football and a lot of wandering about. I get a Halloween vibe from this one.Once again, Big George "I bummed Giancarlo Perle in the New Barbarians" comes across as quite a menacing character, but there's pacing problems all over this film. I'll say this though: Joe D'Amato is compared to Jess Franco as they both do a lot of skin flicks, but Joe is far more competent as a director.

Big George Eastman is severely injured while being chased by a priest. Guts in hand (literally!), he shows up at a house and then is taken to the hospital. While at the hospital, the surgical staff discover his blood clots quickly and that he heals at a much faster rate than a normal person. Eastman escapes, the priest pursues, and then we take a detour through a direct copy of Halloween before the movie ends.Absurd is often billed as a sequel to Anthropophagus but Eastman is the only real connection. The story is crazy, and there's lots of boring padding as we watch characters watch TV. However, gore scenes are what we're looking for here, and there are a few nice set pieces on display including a drill through a head and a bandsaw through a head. Apart from these few gore scenes, Absurd is pretty much a dull mess.

A monster (read - Homicidal Man) with regenerative powers that are 'absurd' - IE stab him and it won't stop him, you have to completely mash his brain to do that - goes on a minor rampage in a small American town.This film almost sent me to sleep at times. I don't believe that Joe D'Amato was much of a director, just prolific. When he does make films I like (EG - Buio Omega, Anthrophagus), I'm tempted to thank mostly his persistence with exploitatively gory subject matter. For every half-decent film he's made, he's also made two more that sucked, and that isn't a good batting average. There's not even much consensus on his good films. I'm a fan of Anthropophagus, but I know for a fact that it bores a lot of people, and I can understand why. In any case, Absurd is just too obnoxiously stupid and uneven to earn much of a place in my heart, no matter how blitzkriegy its violence.D'Amato seems to have had no overview of his films before piecing them together. In Absurd, soporific longeurs are broken up by overblown murder set-pieces. The killings are undoubtedly nasty (bandsaw through the head, axe in the head, head in the oven, etc.) but the director offers so little explanation as to why/how these killings occur that the film doesn't feel horrifying, just ridiculous. George Eastman is competently creepy as the monster, but we know almost nothing about his character, and he goes out of his way to kill each victim in the gruesomest way he can, no matter how impractical that course of action might be. My main reaction to this approach was laughter. Every now and then I caught myself liking the film's brutality, but so often it's just boring, stupid or silly, limply structured - annoying.The film may end up being memorable for not very good reasons, but the reality is that it's pretty crap.