Bikini Traffic School (1998)

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

A movie so bad it's good. T&A are worth the time to watch this. I've seen better acting in a Cambodian whore house. These women should have pulled a reverse Tracey Lords and moved from "legitimate" acting to porno. Script written by a 7th grade class for an end of the semester project. Fly to Denver...get high...watch Bikini Traffic School. The "Bungles the Clown" sound effects add to the brilliance of this film. The A.I. in my Roomba vacuum cleaner has more intelligence than these characters. This movie strikes a new low (or high?) for this genre. That said, if anyone has this on Blu-Ray, contact me immediately! "Hey Mom and Dad, I'm finally in a movie after waiting tables for 7 years in Hollywood"!

Anti-porn and anti-humor, that's a combination you don't see often. And you know, there's a reason for that. Anyway, this movie is about a couple of bimbos with a capital B (or should I say, a capital D? My god, I've been watching too much of this movie) who try to save the traffic school of "aunt Velma". We never get to see this woman, but I bet good money that she's a 50-year-old fake blonde chain smoker with a make-your-own-implants-kit. Anyway, these women try to save this traffic school by working hard, and with working hard, I mean spraying each other with water and taking their clothes of a lot. In between the awkwardly lame jokes, we usually get 30 seconds of cold and sour luvin' between bored looking men and women with breasts you can get stabbed with, which is of course edited so it seems like it's roughly 10 minutes. This is all accompanied by endless songs to really put the idea in our brains that this is sexy material. We're in for a twist ending, as the hussy squad saves the day. Didn't see that one coming,right? I should probably add that soft-core isn't really my forte, since you know, it's crap.But still, who ever came up with this idea? Soft-core isn't about laughter(especially not this one), it's about not having sex. This is an insult to crappy skin flicks everywhere.

It's great when those two girls are on the tennis court and one removes her bra complete with hanna barbara boing sound effects. so fitting. this movie was kinda corny, but very sexy women. great movie for a lonely night.

This movie has that tired old plot involving our heroes having to make X amount of money in Y amount of time to save the business from the evil clutches of so-and-so. What makes this movie viewable to a horny hetero male like myself are the gorgeous women who take it off quite often. Shayna Ryan, who plays Marcie, is particularly nuclear! I recorded only the nudie parts and ended up with a 30-minute masterpiece.