No Dead Heroes (1986)

Truly Dreadful Film

People are voting emotionally.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

No Dead Heroes is another movie I HAD to check out after the favorable review by our buddies over at Comeuppance Reviews. No Dead Heroes isn't available on DVD so the only option to see it is tracking down an old VHS… which I did.Lt. Richard Sanders has no choice but to accept one final mission. Capt. Harry Cotter, Sanders' former colleague prior to being taken captive in Vietnam, has become a victim of KGB experiments. He has had a micro-chip implanted in his brain which controls his mind and has turned him into an unstoppable killing machine. Now, 10 years later, Sanders is sent back in to bring Cotter back alive.Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've hot him on the spot, welcome back… Welcome back Mr. Cottayyyyr! You're a top secret KGB killing machine now… welcome back, welcome back, welcome back…Oh, man!!! No Dead Heroes is off its own rocker. This movie is crazy! And, holy crap, do suckas get mowed down here or what. The scenes of action have little to no dialogue, just Russians, Vietnamese and/or Cubans getting shot to hell over and over. There's explosions everywhere. Machineguns everywhere. There must have been hundreds of commies killed throughout this movie.I'm not sure if pistol grip pump shotguns or crossbows were standard issue in Vietnam but they certainly don't seem like they would be the best choices. Regardless of what my logic tells me they were the weapons of choice for the soldiers invading the Viet-Cong camp at the beginning of the movie.All the stabbings and arrow sticks have the exact same "tick" sound effect. All you hear as the U.S. soldiers sneak through a Viet Cong camp is tick, tick, tick as they kill their enemies trying to free the trapped American soldiers.The acting and dialogue are atrocious. Truly some of the worst I have ever seen. But, then again, I wasn't expecting much.The music is comically bad. Inappropriate for almost every scene.I'm not sure if No Dead Heroes qualifies as so bad it's good material. By most logical standards it is not at all a good movie but it is most certainly the type of movie that could be quite entertaining given the right circumstances (a few cold ones and a few friends). It's crazy stupid fun but it's unfortunately not overly memorable.For more action movie news and reviews visit Action Movie Fanatix online.

With No Dead Heroes you get stupid lines like that as this woefully abysmal action flick needs to be seen to be believed. William Sanders is saved by his buddy Harry Cotter during an extraction in Vietnam but gets himself captured by the enemy. Fast forward ten years and Harry is now a brainwashed Russian operative with a mind control microchip implanted in his brain. His new Russian superior is Ivan played to the obscene hilt by Nick Nicholson who might I add not only doesn't attempt once to speak with a Russian accent but resembles more a gas station attendant in Kentucky with his stained teeth. What is even more absurd is the fact that he was also the dialog coach for this film. Soon William is re-recruited by the CIA to hunt Harry down. He teams up with Barbara, a freedom fighter who has infiltrated Ivan's El Salvador camp and soon the both of them are blowing up half of South America. Some scenes are so jaw droppingly awful that it's a wonder why this film doesn't have more of a cult following. One such scene is the sudden lovemaking in the jungle by William and Barbara accompanied by the most inappropriate catterwalling background music I've ever heard. Who would strip completely nude in the middle of a South American jungle? There is a rape scene that uses the end theme from Blood on Satan's Claw as well. No Dead Heroes is the magic bullet movie champion of all time as one shot leads to multiple kills. In one scene Harry strafes his rifle from behind a rock and kills seven guys. I had to rewind it and count. Hard to find film that has recently gotten the full HD treatment by MGM. Track this movie down and watch it for the sheer silliness that ensues.

This movie is the worst thing ever created by humans. You think manos is the worst movie ever? It doesn't even come close to this garbage. I dont even know where to begin. The "russian" commander and the rebel chic are the worst "actors" ever to appear in a movie. They make the sister in troll 2 look like Meryl Streep. The goofy faces the chic makes while she's in kung fu training have to be seen to be believed. Then there is the oompa music during the prison break, the totally out of place love scene, the stupid song that plays during the out of place love scene, the fake castro, the fact that everybody has either a headband and/or a bandanna on some part of their body, the goofiest rape scene ever filmed, and the worst acting ever put on film. This movie deserves to be more well known among bad movie fans. Definitely the worst movie ever made.

Addle-brained stupidity that the cartoon "Bullwinkle" made fun of a quarter-century beforehand, NO DEAD HEROES proves that you can rip off a good movie (THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE) without copying a single sliver of quality from the object of your plunder. The acting barely registers on the cable-access TV scale, the plot is less nuanced than an old "Sgt. Rock" comic, and only Boris J. Badanov-style "bad guy" mustaches are missing from the Commies. This movie achieves the unusual feat of being too bad, too stupid to be enjoyed by anyone with opposable thumbs.