Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

What makes it different from others?

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

The acting is good, and the firecracker script has some excellent ideas.

Dreadful horror film which must be one of the worst of the many "seasonal" slashers of the 1980s (it's basically the reverse version of "Silent Night, Deadly Night"). The production quality / plot "logic" / acting are on a high school play level, and the identity of the masked killer is batantly obvious. 0.5 out of 4 stars.

"Don't Open Till Christmas" charts a series of yuletide slayings in London during the month of December, in which a killer is targeting Santa Claus impersonators and killing them in brutal fashions. A young woman whose father was a victim, and a peepshow worker, are among those immersed in the Scotland Yard's investigation to find the killer.The consensus on this film seems to be that it is an English attempt at an American-style film, and that is partly true. "Don't Open Till Christmas" looks and feels like a stateside picture, at times recalling the misanthropic underworld of "Taxi Driver," only set in a very clearly 1980s London, and populated with Santa slashings and the occasional nude model or sex worker.The tables here are turned from the usual Christmas horror ilk, however, with killer Santas out and dead Santas in-donning the red costume, beard, and cap gets characters killed in horrific ways. The film seems to be anchored around these elaborate murder set pieces, with some particularly brutal and inventive methods by which the killer slays Kris Kringles. It's difficult to classify the film as a slasher entire, as the script at times focuses significantly on the police detectives and investigation; meanwhile, two key female characters become involved when they witness two different murders, and the narrative splinters out from there. This leaves the proceedings feeling tonally off balance and is a bit disenfranchising to the viewer. The film does take several risks from there, one of which is wildly unexpected, though I'm still not sure it works in the film's favor. The film purportedly took around two years to complete, which may explain for some of these imbalances, including the slipshod finale that is over before you know it.In the end, "Don't Open Till Christmas" is an undeniably fun film-a sleazy sort-of-slasher flick that delivers the goods in terms of gore and flair. On a practical level, it is messily-written and sometimes feels like an English take on "Taxi Driver" or "Maniac" mixed with an Italian giallo. It's not difficult to follow, but it's difficult to commit to as it doesn't have a principle sympathetic character. On a lighter note, though, it does have perhaps the best opening credit sequence of any Christmas horror film I know of, in which a wax Santa melts to a sparse, chimed version of "Jingle Bells." 6/10.

There are some very slight spoilers in this review, but nothing that could diminish your enjoyment of this terrible, inept movie.This movie belongs on anyone's list of favorite bad movies. The plot is beyond stupid, the acting is bad, the directing is incompetent even at the best of times, and the editing is even worse! As if all those things weren't bad enough, important scenes have been cut, but they're still referred to by the characters, leaving us confused and annoyed.The basic plot revolves around a psycho-killer who has a grudge against Santa Claus. He's killing every Santa that he sees, and there are no real clues, except for some mostly useless witnesses who talk about him having crazy eyes. Well, that's not much help. One of the more odd aspects of this movie is the fact that there really aren't any protagonists in the strictest sense. Instead, a stream of random characters are introduced, only to be forgotten, ignored, or abruptly killed off. As a form of experimental filmmaking, this could actually have been quite interesting. Unfortunately, I think this was the result of incompetence, rather than any desire to be artistic.Interestingly, the climax occurs between what was formerly a minor character and the psycho-killer. I'll give them credit for that; I doubt anyone was expecting that, but, given the lack of any true protagonists, it was pretty much inevitable. Regardless, it's a rather long and drawn-out affair, where the newly christened heroine fights off the antagonist, only to end so abruptly that you might be a bit taken aback. In a good movie, this can actually work. However, this is not a good movie. It's just yet another "wtf moment" in a movie chock full of them.Everything in this movie is bad. There are no redeeming qualities. However, it's so cheesy that sometimes you can't help but enjoy it, nonetheless. The music was just as bad as everything else, but it still brought back a bit of nostalgia for the synth-heavy days of the 1980s. All in all, I'd classify this as a laughably bad attempt at trying to rip off Dario Argento. I recommend it for Dario Argento fans (so that they can howl with laughter), bad movie fans, and people who are desperate for Christmas-themed horror movies. Be aware that there's lots of nudity and gore, though the gore is some of the most laughable that I've ever seen. It probably couldn't gross out a child.

Coincidentally, I was going to review this UK-based, Christmas-themed Slasher as part of my final review anyway but since the holidays are right around the corner, it couldn't have come at a better time. Perhaps you've heard mention of '84's Silent Night, Deadly Night and 1980's Christmas Evil (aka You Better Watch Out). Both can be considered films within the sub-genre as well, especially the former, but they aren't what I consider obscure…at least not to the standards of this particular review series. In terms of top-tiered material, Black Christmas is still the reigning champ; the original from 1974 of course, although the remake was done remarkably well.The film opens with scenes depicting a costume party several days before Christmas. Kate's father, dressed as Santa Claus, makes his appearance on stage and is quickly assassinated by someone from the crowd. The police are quick to investigate; particularly Inspector Ian Harris (Edmund Purdom, also the director). The blame is gradually shifted upon Kate's boyfriend Cliff. Any male participant found representing good ol' St. Nick is taken out in brutal fashion. Is Christmas doomed?I found it difficult to reasonably describe the film's premise on account of how humorous and well…stupid, it is. During the opening segments, while the credits appeared on screen, I had a glimmer of hope – could THIS be the Christmas-themed horror movie of the past so aggressively sought after by enthusiasts? After the high of my inner pep-talk wore off I was faced with the grim reality of a mess-ridden film. It's been documented that the finished product was the result of a few directorial changes in the crew's lineup. Hideous cut-jobs are littered throughout and it'd be a chore to find a lengthy segment that does not have this issue. Probably the most prominent example of such shortcomings pertains to the death sequences – you may as well forget any use of subtlety and smooth transitional work. The killings begin and end so abruptly; they merely drop them on you like a giant anvil. Not to mention that they occur so rapidly and involve characters that share no screen time prior to their demise. Obviously the highlight in a moment like this is the gore factor but even that is severely lacking.I may as well spell things out for you as to familiarize yourself with the players involved in Don't Open Till Christmas…E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-I-N-G. Outside of Edmund Purdom (who's been in a few horror movies, and his acting merits far outweigh his brief directorial work), the inflections used, or rather, not used, result in a very underwhelming performance. They manage to be so unconvincing in their deliveries that, collectively, they'd fail miserably at selling bottles of oxygen in a space vacuum. In your typical Hey-What's-Going-On-Here? one can always expect a few distractions; characters thrown into the mix that make the audience think twice of who the killer is. In this case, a reporter is introduced, unfurling a red flag to allow the guessing games to begin among the audience. I wouldn't worry about twists, tricks, or cerebral traps because the red herring in this film is so fat you may just want to throw it in the oven.At the height of the film's conclusion, the motive of the killer is finally revealed, in what turns out to be the DUMBEST of reasons to go on a murderous spree. I'm not even sure it makes logical sense. It's zany and unintentionally hilarious which probably stands as the most insulting thing you could do as a film producer. Don't Open Till Christmas is one cookie that you shouldn't leave out for Santa; when it's all said and done, I'm sure you'll agree that not only does it have nothing to do with the title, but English accents can't hide poor quality. A native of Britain would probably conclude this review by saying this – "It's rubbish!"