Evils of the Night (1985)

Too much of everything

A Major Disappointment

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

The plot for this prime example of '80s z-grade sci-fi/horror trash really doesn't matter all that much-the film is more concerned with delivering scenes of hot young couples getting it on than in telling a riveting tale-but for those who care, the scant script sees aliens (whose number include ageing horror star John Carradine and Julie 'Catwoman' Newmar) visiting our planet to harvest human blood to extend their lives.The plasma best suited to the aliens is from 16-24 year olds, this plot detail allowing director Mohammed Rustam to fill his flick with teens/twenty-somethings of both sexes stripped to their underwear (or less). Helping to collect the unwilling donors for the extraterrestrials are two garage mechanics (played by Aldo Ray and Neville Brand) who sell their services for gold coins.It's cheap, poorly directed, badly acted tosh, to be sure, but the plentiful T&A from a collection of attractive young women (a couple of whom get completely nekkid for their art) ensured that I was never bored, and towards the end of the film there is some unexpected mean-spirited violence, with Ray and Brand killing off my two favourite girls (ditzy blonde Connie, played by G.T. Taylor, and gorgeous brunette Nancy, played by Karrie Emerson) with a power drill and axe.In the end, the aliens escape unscathed, but Brand and Ray get their just desserts.6/10 - Garbage, but entertaining garbage.

Kozmar (the ubiquitous John Carradine looking very worn and wizened), Zarma (leggy eyeful Julie Newmar; Catwoman on "Batman") and Cora (a haggard Tina Louise; Ginger on "Gilligan's Island") are a trio of evil aliens who need the blood of young folks so they can make a youth serum and prolong their lives. The wicked extraterrestrials hire bumbling drunken lout mechanics Fred (an outrageously hammy Aldo Ray) and Kurt (an equally histrionic Neville Brand in his ignominious final film role) to abduct idiotic libidinous teenagers for their nefarious experiments. Clumsily directed by Mardi Rustam (who also co-wrote the mindless trashy script), with tacky (far from) special effects, a corny generic ooga-booga spooky score by Robert O. Ragland, plenty of leering gratuitous nudity, a plodding pace, incredibly moronic and unappealing young imperiled protagonists ("Chopping Mall" victims Tony O'Dell and Karrie Emerson meet similar grim fates here), plain, murky cinematography by Don Stern, sleazy soft-core sex scenes (popular porn stars Amber Lynn and Jerry Butler pop up in minor roles), a meandering narrative, laughably lousy dialogue ("Keep your hands off her, you scum!"), bouncy pop-rock songs occasionally blaring away on the soundtrack, hilariously horrible acting (the Faded Name Hall of Shame cast are obviously slumming for an easy paycheck), and a decent smattering of grisly gore (a juicy drill-through-the-stomach murder set piece rates as the definite splatter highlight), this severely stinky, yet often amusing and oddly entertaining sci-fi/horror exploitation swill qualifies as an absolute cruddy hoot.

Right from the opening, depicting something resembling a customized mobile home floating through space, you know this is something special. A low budget space ship lands in the middle of the woods - this contains alien scientists John Carradine, Julie Newmar, and Tina Louise. Using a hospital as a base of operations, they set out to fulfill their mission; to gather blood platelets from young Earth people and send the stuff back to their home planet. Platelets, it seems, are the key to eternal life. They hire two mechanics (Aldo Ray and Neville Brand) to handle the dirty work of capturing unwilling donors. And what luck - nearby there are a group of perfect specimens on a camping trip...First of all, the cast is amazing. Carradine and Newmar - no strangers to this terrain - actually manage to pull their roles off with style and dignity. Aldo Ray was probably used to this kind of movie as well, having already appeared in such things as Mongrel and Biohazard - while Tina Louise was `Ginger' on Gilligan's Island. Neville Brand had a distinguished record in World War 2, and afterward found his way into a major Hollywood career, specializing in westerns during the fifties - and notably played Duke, the embittered POW in Stalag 17. In this, his last film, he plays the role of Ray's lackey - and actually appears to be enjoying himself, even while unpleasantly ogling and pawing his captured female victims. Also worth mentioning is the fact that the victims and potential victims are not just cardboard cut-outs, and you actually like them.Is this movie any good? Well, let me put it this way - it's dumb and cheap and sleazy - but that's exactly what it's intended to be. It would have been a perfect feature on the late, great USA Up All Night, as it's very much in that "style". For the people who consider that a recommendation, dive right in.

How bad and offensively stupid can one movie get? I guarantee EVILS OF THE NIGHT will knock out the competition. Whoever made this had no taste or sense if humor. The story of the muderous moronic mechanics is like something from a Ray Dennis Steckler film, and the production values are nil. EVILS IS OF THE NIGHT is pretty bad, and not funny at all. Not even for fun.EVILS OF THE NIGHT is a real threat to anyone's intelligence.