Black Samurai (1976)

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

It has been a while since I watched Black Belt Jones, but that was the previous Jim Kelly film I had seen and recently the mood took me for some blaxploitation films. Where the previous film had Kelly fighting for his own streets, here we have him as a much in demand secret agent. He plays Robert Sand (Bobby to his mates) who is on holiday playing tennis with some hotties with the phone off the hook whenever his employers come to him for help in breaking a right of black-magic using international drug dealers. Sands of course says no, until he finds the group have kidnapped the daughter of the Japanese Ambassador to the US (Toki) who also happens to be Sand's girlfriend (albeit not one he is particularly faithful to). Sand sets out to rescue her and bring down the gang all at once.I quite like Blaxploitation films when they work; the best of them manage to be really good and make the most of limited resources, but there can still be good ones that try and have fun while being inherently poor. Unfortunately Black Samurai seems to either not be aware of its own limitations or just seems content to totally ignore them and hope it will all just come together. By this I mean that it doesn't play to its strengths very well but instead plays to an ideal that it can't achieve either financially or in terms of the skills of those involved. There are big moments of this (like the jet-pack scene) but generally the whole film is poor and just seems worse for how far from its own target it falls. The plot is clunky and very little fun at all while the action sequences don't even offer cheesy thrills because they are mostly poorly done. It is a shame because I like Kelly but he looks poor because of how bad the extras are at even things like falling down.Technically the film shows how little effort went into this. The direction and shot selection is poor but it is the audio that is most shocking. Quality varies between lines within the same scene but more annoying is the ADR/dubbing done after the film. When it at its best it is just out of synch but at its worst lines are dubbed onto people who aren't even speaking at the time – the fight with Bones and Sand is hilarious as a result. And so the film goes – it fills time when it can, point a camera roughly where people are standing when they're doing something and generally fails to be fun, dramatic, exciting or even funny in a cheesy retro way. The cast can't do much. Kelly is not a great presence but he is totally wasted here – uncool, not allowed to impressive physically and just looks uncomfortable for most of it. The supporting cast are weaker – Joi and Chia are cute but never given the chance to be a sexy distraction in the film as they should have been. Meanwhile the main villains stand and pull faces while rubbish henchmen fall over awkwardly.A poor film then – even by the standards of the genre. It seems to think it can make big things work despite having no talent or resources to achieve it and the end result is poor no matter how you look at it. It says a lot when you consider that the entertainment high-point of the film is a fight with a vulture where Kelly lies on his back doing defensive arm movements while someone waves a stuffed toy in his face, intercut with a white stuntman standing in for Kelly who appears to have had a panicking vulture stapled to his chest – and even this only works because of how unintentionally daft it all looks.

Fellow fans of bad movies, you're in for a real treat with this Jim Kelly classic!OK here's the deal: The daughter of an important ambassador (who also apparently happens to live by the samurai code – we're never too sure as we never actually get to see him!) is kidnapped by some decidedly mean looking crooks (headed by a dead ringer for Lee Van Cleef!) who happen to be working for the head of a group of Satanists (got that?) Step forward agent Roland Sand (Kelly) of D.R.A.G.O.N who is assigned the mission to rescue our beautiful damsel in distress. (What does the agency name stand for? I haven't the foggiest because it's never explained!) Anyway, to cut a long story short (even though there isn't really a story present!) it happens that by a seemingly unlikely coincidence, the seized sexy daughter also happens to be Kelly's girlfriend!!!! Wow, what a small world eh?!Obviously our man quite rightly wastes no time at all in promptly searching for her but before he can rescue her he must first fight his way through a seeming army of devil worshippers, some Zulu warriors(!!!) a vulture(!!!), a room full of rattle snakes(which are kept securely in their holding cell via a grilled door!!!!!! Eh?!!!!!) and a fair number of demented dwarfs(!!!!!!!) Yes, you might well want to re-read that last sentence to make sure that you weren't seeing things. Believe me, if it sounds bizarre on paper then it's even more bizarre on film!Chock full of twangy 70's music, groovy fashions, bad acting and some absolutely (unintentionally) hilarious scenes throughout this is a veritable bad movie classic!Best scene of all for me though was near the end when our hero dukes it out with the head henchman charmingly referred to as Bone. For some odd reason the film suddenly develops an entire overdub wherein our hero taunts his opponent by throwing at him such choice insults as 'Chump', 'Sissy' and 'Faggot' (all spoken way above the normal volume level on the soundtrack) – Needless to say I almost wet myself laughing.Also be sure to check out the cool and garish opening credits sequence – awesome stuff!Oh, did I mention the jet pack? – Damn, you NEED to see this film!

OK, if we've seen "Enter the Dragon" and "Black Belt Jones", then we should know not to expect any kind of life-changing experience from watching a Jim Kelly movie, just to enjoy it. And with "Black Samurai", you'd better believe that you will! Kelly plays D.R.A.G.O.N. agent Robert Sand, who one day learns that his hubby has been kidnapped by a crime syndicate. From there, the movie is basically a series of ass-kicking scenes, no matter how unrealistic. And no great acting either. It's obviously an excuse for him to buck The Man's mores...which he does perfectly.I should identify that if you're expecting a repeat of "Enter the Dragon", you'll be disappointed. Jim Kelly is NOT graceful like Bruce Lee was. I think that his main asset is his cool Afro. If you expect nothing more from this movie than the sort of kick-ass fun characteristic of blaxploitation movies, you won't be the least bit disappointed. It's the sort of movie that really makes one idolize the '70s.

This is quite literally the funniest thing I've ever seen ever. I almost suffocated myself with laughter three times during this film, and me and my friends still yell out the word Jetpack for no apparent reason in response to the utter hilarity that is Black Samurai.This movie makes about as much sense as a Schizophrenic on Acid. If anyone can explain to me what the hell was up with the cavemen lead by a cowboy midget, I would be willing to pay handsomely. And why is that stripper taking off the same piece of clothing for about 15 minutes? Did the director really think that they could get away with just looping a scene 10-12 times in lieu of actually shooting? But seriously... This is a great movie to watch in the middle of the night, drunk or high, preferably with six or seven of your good humored (And by good humored, I mean Mystery Science Theater fans) friends. Be prepared for what has to be the most non-sensical thing ever created by man. Enjoy.