Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)

Highly Overrated But Still Good

A brilliant film that helped define a genre

This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

There are a lot of bad movies, but there's only one Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe. If you want poor acting, a nonsensical plot, unbelievably low quality sound recording/editing, a pointless Jim Belushi cameo, and inappropriate soft jazz, Abraxas is the movie you've been looking for.Abraxas stars Jesse Ventura in the title role. While I enjoyed his work in movies like The Predator, he seems wholly incapable of carrying a movie on his own. He's joined by Sven-Ole Thorsen - Arnold Schwarzenegger's old buddy. A large chunk of the movie is devoted to these two guys chasing each other through the woods and mindlessly beating on each other. The third main member of the cast is Marjorie Bransfield. I'll be incredibly nice and call her performance bland.The plot is so ridiculous, it's barely worth mentioning. Abraxas is some sort of space cop called a finder who is chasing his former partner, Secundus. Secundus has come to Earth to find a suitable mate to bear his child. His offspring will be the Comater and have knowledge of the Anti-Life Equation. Secundus finds a female, impregnates her with a hand to the belly, and the baby (or Comater) is born within a few minutes. Abraxas catches up with Secundus and sends him to a penal planet. Five years later, Secundus escapes prison and heads back to Earth (with Abraxas hot on his heels) to retrieve the Comater so he might gain the power derived from the Anti-Life Equation. I'll stop there. This is all so pointless.I've always said that I rate movies based on entertainment. Abraxas is a test of that statement. It's a bad movie based on anyone's definition. It's totally ridiculous, stupid, and incompetently made - but it's fun. Despite the many obvious flaws, I was entertained. A qualified 7/10 from me.

A bad alien man comes to Earth and impregnates a woman and 6 years later he returns to get the kid who will continue his legacy. A good bounty hunter is sent back to Earth to kill this bad guy alien and he ends up falling for the girl...or something like that, as if I was trying to follow.Horrible movie that tries so hard to be like Terminator. Putting Jesse Ventura as a hero was a joke and this bad guy, Sercundus, tries to talk just like Arnold Schwarzeneggar. It was such a stupid sci-fi action movie and tried to add comedy but it was hard to set through.Direction was awful and the movie was so dark I couldn't even see what was happening most times. With such silly dialog and craziness all through it. Acting wasn't horrible but it sure wasn't great and it was nice seeing James Belushi doing the same role he did when he played on the movie Principal, and I loved his stupid lines here, I think his wife was in the movie. This movie might have had the worst music I have ever heard. Badly produced piece of garbage.It's a rip off, it tries using bad wrestling stars as a sells pitch and its just a waste of time...avoid if you can. Its not even bad enough to be considered funny, it's just bad, I considered giving it a 2, but nope 1/10 stars for me.

Anyone who writes up a serious critique of this movie is INSANE!!! It's hilarious, end of story. Thank God somebody made this film. Laughter therapy all the way.Among the sordid and strange moments in this movie are scenes a women giving birth without taking off her pants, and disturbing (but funny) "moments" of bizarre intimacy between the lead man and "Tommy" the young alien/human hybrid. MST3K would have fun with this one but it's already so funny on it's own there's probably not much they could add.Just go in expecting the corniest plot, most cliché-filled narrative, and worst acting you've ever seen in a movie and you wont be disappointed. Just don't eat while watching, you might choke. 10 line minimum huh? Well that's all i have to say. :)

He's no Laurence Olivier, but Jesse Ventura is very likable as an actor. Low-budget science-fiction B-flick with shades of "The Terminator" involves good cop Ventura chasing bad cop Sven-Ole Thorsen from the future to present-day Canada. The shoestring special effects are pretty much a joke, and the film never comes up with the kind of futuristic scenario depicted on the poster. However, this thing is almost single-handedly saved by handsome Ventura's low-key performance. No, he's not going to win any awards for his acting, but he doesn't force his dialogue and is an appealing presence on the screen. The picture is the epitome of mediocre, it isn't original nor remarkable, but on a minor, TV-viewing level it's decent fare. ** from ****