The Apple (1980)

the leading man is my tpye

Too many fans seem to be blown away

Intense, gripping, stylish and poignant

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

There are a lot of movies that claim to be the worst or one of the worst. Recent movies like "The Room", ""Birdemic: Shock and Terror" and "The Human Centipede" are often given this title but these movies are enjoyably bad. It's when you have a movie like "The Apple" which is just bad without the enjoyment that you really start to understand what bad cinema is all about. This is a strange movie. It's one part musical and one part biblical epic. The story takes place in the far future of 1994 and two naive youths from Moose Jaw in Canada have shown up to Worldwide music contest. And while they are, by this movie's standards, the best they are beaten by the big music producer Mr. Boogaloo and his band. It's implied that he rigged the contest so the band he represents would win. But he likes the two youths and invites them to his building to sign a contract.He's also looking at ways to merchandise and one of the things they come up with is the BIM mark. BIM of course being the name of his company. Boogaloo International Music. And this is a mark that can be worn on the hand or the face. He is of course the Devil and gets more satanic as the movie goes on. The contact is obviously one where you sell your soul and the Apple literally represents the Apple in the garden of Eden. No kidding. Well Bibi, the girl, goes on to sign with Boogaloo and becomes a big star. Alphie, the boy, doesn't because he senses how evil Boogaloo is and runs away. Now here's where it gets weird. Boogaloo is somehow so powerful that he manages for not only everybody to wear the BIM mark and have it be mandatory that everybody wear it but every day there is the BIM hour where everybody stops what they're doing and dance to the BIM music that is playing everywhere. To not wear the BIM mark or take part in the BIM hour is a serious offence. Alphie finally is able to reach Bibi and save her from Boogaloo and they wind up in a field with a bunch of other hippies and their hippie leader singing songs and having children. The idea is time has passed because Alphie has a beard and he and Bibi had a kid. Boogaloo shows up with the army and he's literally dressed as Satan now. The hippie leader turns out to be God, he drives down in what looks like a Cadillac and offers to take the hippies to a new world where Boogaloo can't reach them. Saying something like, "maybe this time we'll get it right" or something. This movie is just wretched. There's no positive you can give to it. It's bad. The songs are bad. The acting is bad. The situations are bad. It's just bad.You have been warned.

If Xanadu and Flash Gordon had a baby, it would be The Apple.I'm a fan of campy, trashy movies, especially musicals. I actually think Grease 2 is a better movie than the original Grease for instance.The Apple is REALLY trashy, in fact I would go as far as to say it has almost no redeeming features. The acting from most of the cast is way below par. Even amateur dramatics societies have better actors than this. George Gilmour in particular as the male lead "Alphie" is appalling. It comes as no surprise that this seems to be his only movie credit... That said, it doesn't help that nobody in this film is given anything in the script that would show their acting "talents". The sets are basically made up of bits of late 1970s Berlin brutalist architecture. Why is it films set in "the future" are always full of grey concrete?! The costumes are of the silver foil standard of future fashions, along with a lot of outfits that appear again to be straight out of the 1970s. Well they do say fashions come and go..The film itself, well its a simple tale of an innocent boy and girl getting sucked into and spat out of the music industry.. Along with some very misguided and in your face biblical references. The ending is truly spectacular. Spectacularly awful that is.The only vaguely redeeming feature of this film is possibly the soundtrack. OK, none of it sounds like the kind of music that was around in the real 1994, but there are some flourishes.I'm giving the film 5 out of 10. It is truly terrible, but a fun watch at the same time.

F you Eve. It's not bad enough you ate the apple, but now you "inspired" something even worse.Never heard of this? Don't worry; I'm sure the cast and crew hope you never will find out about it. And that's sad. As bad as this was, and it was TERRIBLE, it does look like the cast and crew did put their heart into it. For that, I, sadly, have to raise my rating from the easy 1/10 stars to 2/10 stars. But, don't be fooled; this should never be seen. Or heard.Set in the far-distance/past 1994, the world is run by the obvious devil and his gay entourage. Sign up with him, pay 50% of your "earnings," and, I guess, you'll live? And sing. Sing galore. But, wait! Alphie, the Adam of the story, wants to save his love from the evil crutches and……and I spent too much time on this already. It's an old and obvious plot even for 1980 and contains both awful songs and sets and images from the 60s despite being set in the 90s. Maybe they thought it'd all come back again. Let's hope not.True, I'm not a fan of musicals, and this didn't help much. Don't see this, please don't. For the love of all Electric Boogalow, heed my warning.***Final thoughts: Why did I watch it? Funny you shouldn't ask. I had two movies to catch up to eventually listen to that awesome bad movie podcast, How Did This Get Made? This one and Streets of Fire and since that one was first, I plugged that title into my Amazon Prime account. First hit: The Apple. Initially, I thought the title had changed, but upon research I learned it hadn't and though it was weird this would pop up instead of Streets of Fire, this was the other one I needed to see. So…what…the…hell.

Watching this film, one can only marvel at the fact that some studio actually paid to have this film made! This only proves how much money must be floating around Hollywood. This movie fails in every aspect. Bad story, bad acting, bad singing, bad lyrics, bad dancing, bad costumes, bad sets, bad everything! This movie does succeed on one level however, it serves as an example of how NOT to make a movie. Excruciatingly painful to watch, and even more painful to listen to. I can imagine, far in the future, some archaeologist digging up the DVD of this movie, watching it, and then explaining to his students how everyone in 1994 apparently was gay. If you've been unfortunate enough to have purchased this DVD, at least you can use it as a coaster.