Black Swarm (2007)

Who payed the critics

one of my absolute favorites!

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

BLACK SWARM is one of many diabolical TV movies produced by the Sci Fi channel in the USA which have somehow found international distribution via TV networks. This is a good example of a poor, schlocky B-movie at its very worst; it really is the nadir of the B-movie cycle and doesn't even exploit the various attributes which could have made it more entertaining – if ever there was a plot and premise ripe for some good old fashioned sex 'n' violence then this is the one. Instead, this feels like a tacky soap opera with some muddled genetic dialogue thrown into the mix and somebody's half-assed attempt to make a zombie movie.Yes, that's right – zombies. They're part of this movie, controlled by the killer wasps and with icky pustules over their bodies. What do they do? You'll be thinking they kill people in messy ways, or explode, or turn other people into zombies. Well the latter option is right, but in a very lacklustre way; a few extras are transformed but that's it. These zombies just wander around in the background for ages without affecting the plot in any way. One of the actors, the one who plays the vicar, is hilarious, copying the style of the cemetery zombie at the beginning of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD but in a totally exaggerated, ludicrous-looking way.What of the 'black swarm' of the title? Well, they're not black for starters – I think that's got something to do with the town being called Black Stone. Essentially they're just wasps, slightly bigger and tougher than the usual breed. I've got something of a phobia of wasps but these ones didn't scare me for a second. The CGI animation is adequate but apart from some scene-setting shots of them gathering in the sky, they're never shown to be menacing. One supposed 'scare' scene features a zombie spitting a cloud of them from his mouth; the problem was I already saw this moment in one of the CANDYMAN films – yet another rip-off moment.Another problem is the lack of budget, which is pretty noticeable. This was shot in Canada on the cheap and the climax features laughably bad CGI explosions and missiles and a hilarious interlude where our heroes enter a giant wasp nest, which looks like it was inspired by ALIENS (same music) except this one appears to have been made with papier mache. The biggest fault, however, with BLACK SWARM, and the factor that makes it a worthless movie, is the absolutely awful acting. The only experienced actor of note is Robert Englund, here playing a good guy for once. The producers obviously realise they're on to a good thing with Englund, because he's the consummate professional and they figure a way for him to be in the entire movie. Everyone else is terrible, especially Sarah Allen who simply cannot emote – at all – as the 'tough' female lead. Sebastien Roberts is a wooden, charisma-free hero and child actress Rebecca Windheim is intensely irritating. Aside from Englund, this is strictly amateur night stuff, making it a struggle to sit through till the boring, pointless ending. BLACK SWARM is probably the worst "film" I've seen in recent months.

Nine years ago, in Black Stone, a handsome exterminator was killed in a wasp nest removal accident. Presently, his identical twin brother Sebastien Roberts (as Devin Hall) works as the small New York town's pest controller. He's thinking of moving just as his brother's red-haired widow Sarah Allen (as Jane Kozik) moves back to Black Stone with her exceptionally mature nine-year-old daughter Rebecca Windheim (as Kelsey). Immediately installed as the town's sheriff, Ms. Allen begins to investigate some strange deaths. Meanwhile, little Miss Windheim has befriended weird-acting bee-keeper Robert Englund (as Eli Giles). He has been experimenting on wasps. Hit in his windshield by a super-wasp, Mr. Roberts decides to stay and face the menace...The basic idea behind this monster bee thriller, by Todd Samovitz, is engaging. Considering the TV Movie budget, the make-up is also an asset. Sadly, there is little effort to make the bees a terrifying threat. It might have been better to suggest, rather than show, the initial swarming attack on homeless guitar player Andrew Shaver. When we see his body, we can imagine the horror. Later attacks are comic, with performers veering into theatrics. Also, it appears like most people in the town are slow to notice many residents have developed welts and make a buzzing noise. Zombies should be a constant peril. Roberts and Allen are attractive, play very well together and try to keep it serious for director David Winning. Unfortunately for all, it's a lackluster effort.**** Black Swarm (12/7/07) David Winning ~ Sebastien Roberts, Sarah Allen, Robert Englund, Rebecca Windheim

I can often tolerate, even enjoy a poorly made movie if it's at least plausible. But at so many moments in this film you were left wondering "who the hell would do that ??"Why would a mother leave her daughter in the care of a complete stranger ? A stranger who has a secret laboratory under his mobile home nonetheless. Most of the acting is really not horrible in comparison to other low budget movies, it's the story and the dialog that is just pitiful.I am simply amazed that this movie ever got made.You have been warned, your time spent watching this will be wasted.

I guess good advice in regards to 'Black Swarm,' is not to watch the trailer first as it gives away too many spoilers. Okay, the best advice is just to simply avoid the movie at all costs. The "when animals attack" film, like so many other b-movies, tries to be too many things and ultimately falls apart. Those unfortunate enough like me to waste time on such filth will see: part 'Aliens,' part 'Day of the Dead,' part 'Empire of the Ants' and any "government's secret weapon runs amok" movie. It's frivolous to attack any of its hundreds of flaws, inconsistencies or even the little girl that laughs and smiles at inappropriate times. It is a b-movie about killer wasps that fear the fruit after all, but with lines like "Maybe it's playing hive and seek," good cops that threaten to kill at will and scenes stolen from much better movies – think Newt's dilemma in 'Aliens' – it's hard not to simply hate any effort produced here. Perhaps it is a good drunk movie, as so many scenes make you laugh out loud, such as a "shocking" revelation in the closing by the two stars while aimless Robert Englund stands around. One of my favorite flaws (and yes spoiler ahead) was the quick and almost immediately forgotten death of the beloved blind "B" woman who previously attempted to protect the young girl with a perfectly sized raincoat she happened to have. Then, when it was never revealed to her mother the blind woman got it, her mother seemed to know. I'm getting tired of at least acknowledging one's efforts, even with a low budget. "At least they attempted to make a movie." Well, Marlboro also attempts to make a quality cigarette. And we all know how that ends up.