Knucklebones (2016)

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

Let's be realistic.

There is just so much movie here. For some it may be too much. But in the same secretly sarcastic way most telemarketers say the phrase, the title of this one is particularly apt.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Have an appreciation for horror and the concept was kind of interesting. So although expectations were far from high, considering the general standard of low budget films seen recently, part of me was hoping that 'Knucklebones' would be at least tolerable. There are definitely worse films than 'Knucklebones', of the horror genre and overall, and it is not even close to being one of the worst, let alone the worst, low budget films seen recently. That on the other hand doesn't make it good, it does far too little with the potential it had in the concept and it doesn't even have enough to make it tolerable. Much of it is pretty lame actually but it is not irredeemable, it frustrated me and has more flaws than it has good things but it didn't at least completely bore or confuse me like some other films did me recently. A few not bad things. Knucklebones himself looks pretty decent, was expecting far worse and he was not as cheap or ridiculous-looking as expected. It's not too badly shot. And at least it's reasonably coherent. However, 'Knucklebones' is also very erratically paced, rushed structurally but dull in momentum. Knucklebones himself doesn't look bad, but in terms of personality and writing he is not sinister at all, pretty cheesy actually and tries too hard to be a horror villain icon like Freddy Krueger but with none of what made that character have the reception he does now. 'Knucklebones' is really quite bad when it comes to the writing. Very stilted and induces too often some unintentional laughs. There were attempts at dark humour, but it was not dark or sharp enough and was instead silly and clumsy. Even worse is the acting, which is pretty awful all round while having to work with annoying characters. Photography aside, the film looks cheap. It's too drably lit and then there are the not-worth-mentioning-because-they're-so-bad-beyond-description effects. The story didn't confuse me at least but there was no tension, suspense or fun whatsoever, it was just far too safe blandness which not even the gratuitous gore could spice up. What seemed like references to horror films were not clever or affectionate, they were just derivative and clumsy with little point to some of them. It's forgettably scored too, and flatly directed.Overall, not a complete shambles but lame. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Possibly the most awful horror film ever made, truly dire on every level . . . the acting is wooden at best, the effects mediocre, the plot ridiculous and the script is beyond bad, it is an offence to film making. At one point one of the girls is taking a piss and the Demon sneaks up behind her and says "tinkle, tinkle little star" - in a comedy this would be barely funny, in a straight horror film it makes you cringe, I wish I could say the rest of the script is better but it is not! Only reason I can think of for watching this film is to find out what not to do if you make a horror film yourself, please do not watch if your care for the state of your brain cells!

Not the worst film I've seen cos I've watched a few Steven Segal movies, but this has little merit. For a horror flick, this is not scary. For a teen slasher movie, yawn.To its credit the pacing is good and the scenes are mostly well shot. Get a few beers in, and lower your expectations. It'll be fine.

The Nazis create a demon that you can summon by rolling knuckle bones and saying a few words for the purpose of wiping out enemy troops. This demon is a Jason type with a Freddy voice and his sense of humour. Years later the bones are found in a box stored in an old factory. Wouldn't you know it some teens play the game and summon Knucklebones.This one had so much potential. When Knucklebones is summoned he needs a body to come through. Your bones will just start snapping and sticking right through your skin then he crawls right out of the person leaving a spent corpse. When you see this you think this film is going rock but then it never does. It just seems muddled.One problem was his voice which was a distorted Freddy. You could make out his one liners sometimes but mostly not. Everything seemed to wrap up quick which I think the writer sort of wrote himself into a corner. He has Knucklebones stop pursing one of the last survivors only to leave the factory and go all the way to the survivors house to go after the young sister. What's even worse is the sister is waiting in bed with a bow and arrow. What? The one thing I laughed at the hardest was what she went through to get some new knuckle bones. She makes Ash look like a sissy.I hope a different writer gets to do the sequel.