Double Team (1997)

One of the wrost movies I have ever seen

It's not great by any means, but it's a pretty good movie that didn't leave me filled with regret for investing time in it.

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

If they made a sequel to Double Team, would that be four teams or three? Is math supposed to be used that way? If they made a prequel would that be one team, or no team at all? Why does Double Team make me sad? Am I sad because of Jean Claude Van Damme? Am I sad because of Dennis Rodman or Mickey Rourke? Am I sad because of the other actors who must appear in this movie? I don't know. This is one of those kinds of movies that makes you think, makes you think why, like why make this piece of sh*t movie or it makes you think how, like how can such a piece of sh*t movie get made so easily while other movies that aren't related to human excrement have such a hard time being made. Yes, questions drive us forward towards truth.

Stavros (Mickey Rourke) is about to sell Plutonium, stolen from the US, to the Iraqis. It is the final mission of secret agent Jack Quinn (Jean-Claude Van Damme) to stop him, and he barely escapes stealing back the Plutonium. It's 3 years later in the South of France, Jack is retired with his pregnant wife. But Stavros is back and the CIA needs Jack to track him down. Dennis Rodman costars as flamboyant arms dealer Yaz.It's almost painful to watch Dennis Rodman act with Van Damme. Van Damme was never the most natural actor around with his accent. I've often wonder if he should speak in other languages when he's playing secret agents. Reading subtitles would be an improvement.The action is pretty good. The movie starts off with a major truck chase. It gets off on the right foot. Things blow up, bullets are flying, everybody is kung fu fighting, and there is mayhem everywhere in this movie. I have no complaints about the action.But there is nothing that can be done with all the bad acting. The story is ridiculous and stupid. It's trying very hard to be something big. While it has most of the look, the movie is nothing more than sub par.

courtesy of www.PopBunker.net We've all had it happen. A day will be going merrily along with normal annoyances and accomplishments. Then suddenly, out random chaos, something triggers the memory of an innocent of something so profoundly awful and cringe-inducing that all he wishes is that the memory would have stayed forgotten.Sometimes the buried memory is in the form of an embarrassing moment; like taking out one's junk and swinging it around at a wedding reception. And other times it is bewildering reminders of craptacular movies like Double Team.My day "job" includes managing an online inventory. Recently we obtained around 300 DVDs to add to our online and brick and mortar inventory. Usually I don't pay attention to titles when mindlessly adding to our inventory. But yesterday I was struck as if by a malevolent satorie when this DVD came through.I tweeted about it and got back a few colorful responses with regards to re-opening this wound of a movie in the minds of many.So what was so awful about "Double Team?" Well, first of all the name: Double Team. Everyone is entitled to his most far-fetched fantasy, but I can't imagine anyone – not even the most strong stomach celeb stalker – wanting to be doubled teamed by JCVD and Dennis Rodman. It would be like having a fantasy involving a threesome with Larry King and Frances Bay (Granda from Happy Gilmore) while everyone wears a KISS mask. It just doesn't compute even to the most perverse of minds.The next thing… well… Dennis Rodman. I mean just image google his name. Or don't.Be who you wanna be, kid. It's all good. But to be who Rodman is and mix that with the absolute fact that he can act about as well as he shot three-pointers (23.1%) makes a mess recipe for a movie."Double Team" even had Mickey Rourke when he was an a-hole everyone hated instead of The Wrestler reborn a-hole that everyone suddenly thinks is cool because he is in Iron Man 2. (A side note: Rourke is the ultimate retro-cool has-been a-hole re-made into the suddenly in-demand cool a-hole that soon everyone will remember is an a-hole and will be cast aside once again. It's a crazy business.) The last thing I'm going to point out in "what was so awful about…" is that it was a stone cold career killer for JCVD. It may well be that JCVD was going to have a short career arc as a major action player anyway, but in the three years leading up to "Double Team," he was in Timecop (1994), Streetfighter & Sudden Death (1995), The Quest & Maximum Risk (1996). "Double Team" flushed down in 1997 and then… that was it. I think everything after "Double Team" was a direct-to-DVD or limited release for JCVD. JCVD was not known for quality cinema, but he was known for exploitative movies made for men who love movies made for men. JCVD movies were cheap to make and did enough bank at the box office… until "Double Team." Not even men who love movies made for men could love JCVD after he was in a movie with Dennis Rodman that, if I remember correctly, featured a fight or chase or something where Rodman's mode of attack was Grabbing a Rebound Kung-fu or some ridiculous junk like that. I know it involved a gratuitously out of place basketball reference somehow.courtesy of www.PopBunker.net

Look before i start my review lets be honest about this movie, the movie is dumb and really does not make sense really a movie with Van Damme and Dennis Rodman really what do you expect. But lets also be clear this movie could be a lot of fun viewed in the right light and could almost be considered a really fun piece of garbage. Van Damme starts as a agent who is after Mickey Rourke (really Mickey really) while after Mickey, Mickey wife and child gets killed and now Mickey is really bad and spends the whole film trying to kill Van Damme. Van Damme needs help and so he enlist the help of Dennis Rodman(what did the Chicago Bulls cut him from the roster) who is a gun dealer. Well that is all the plot you really need, I mean what i just described could be action gold, not really i mean there is a lot of plot holes and a lot of scenes that just don't make sense. And now i come to the great director Tsui Hark ( i know if you just seen this film and his other movie starting Van Damme Knock Off you could be asking yourself "great director my ---") the director who gave us Once upon a time in china 1,2,3,4,5 and Pecking Opera Blues and other great hong kong movies. But this movie is not even in the same area code to these great movies but he does direct the film for all he's worth and does keep the movie flowing at a great pace and does give us a lot of action and Tsui at least make Van Damme look good as he enlist the great Sammo Hung to do the fights(lets be clear that the stuntman does most of the action for Van Damme) and Tsui Hark even got the great Peter Pau to shoot the film. Yes Peter Pau who went on to win a Oscar a couple years later for shooting Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. In the end all i could say is that you could find worse movies starting Van Damme (there is too many to count) and you could find better like Hard Target,Timecop,or maybe Sudden Death. Double Team get a C+. So there Thank You.