Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Best movie ever!

Blending excellent reporting and strong storytelling, this is a disturbing film truly stranger than fiction

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

After two well-received web entries, 2003's Rare Exports Inc. and 2005's Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions, writer and director Jalmari Helander created this ode to the darker side of Santa Claus.A British company called Subzero is doing arctic deep drilling when it discovers that a burial mound contains something hidden. Two boys, Juuso and Pietari listen in, then argue the existence of Santa before Pietari goes home to read how Santa is really a horned being who whips bad kids and boils them alive.The day before Christmas Eve, Pietari's dad, Rauno, digs a trap to protect his reindeeer herd from wolves, who have been driven mad by the explosions and digging. They discover hundreds of dead reindeer, all gnawed to death, but both Pietari and his father are unsure if the wolves are really to blame.Rauno blames his misfortune on the Subzero company and heads out for retribution. However, he finds no one there, just a deep pit into what looks like Hell. Then, they learn that potatoes, heaters and even a hairdryer have gone missing. Even worse, Jusso jas disappeared, a fact that Pietari discovers has happened to kids all over the village.Another villager, Piiparinen, finds an old man who is near death, who goes from deceased to able to attack to strong enough to break metal bars. They dress the old man as Santa and inform Subzero's American boss, Riley. He informs them that they only have an elf and must not beave rudely. One swear word later and the lights, Riley and his pilot have all been killed.Everyone runs to Hangar 24, where they discover a horned beast trapped in a block of ice being warmed by the stolen heaters. They also see sacks fo kidnapped children before they are attacked by the elves.What follows is a daring rescue and escape, with Santa being blown up real good and Raulo ending up working with Subzero to send teh elves to American malls, where they will be seasonal Santas.Rare Exports could have been a silly parody of a film, but it is shot with dark charm and plenty of verve. It's a really unique piece of cinema that surprised me at several turns.

Having discovered that the "real" Santa Claus was a half-man monster who punished naughty children before being frozen in ice, a young boy living in icebound Finland comes to suspect that Santa has been dug up and unfrozen when his father's reindeer herd are slaughtered in this decidedly offbeat Christmas movie. The film gets off to a strong start with some truly horrific drawings of what Santa apparently actually looks like and the reindeer slaughter is certainly quite eerie. The film spends too long though building up suspense and tension with the suggestion that Santa is on the very verge of going on a rampage; it is an over hour in before any real action as such begins... and the overall film is less than an hour and a half long! The payoff is not even as frightening or thrilling as it is built up to be (we never see Santa actually punishing naughty children) with the film eventually coming off as a fairly prototypical monster movie, Christmas twist aside. It is hard not to admire the film's willingness to challenge conventional notions of Santa Claus and Christmas, but at the same time, the potential for more is striking. The mythology only ever seems half-developed without the right dose of exposition, and it is no surprise to learn that the film was spun off from two short films by the same director that, apparently, explain things in more detail. The film at least ends on a strong note with a memorable suggestion of where one traditional Christmas staple comes from, and the overall film is daringly different no doubt - but not for all tastes.

While entertaining, this movie just went completely off the rails in the last third.Story and the atmosphere starts off strong, and it goes strong for a while, in definitely somber horror manner. But then after maybe two thirds, movie and everyone in it just gives up and goes nuts in a boring way. While I'm not going to spoil anything big, I personally found that annoying and very uneven. I see some people found it fun and entertaining, but for me that last third was just "well this is dumb and not good and the it becomes even worse". So it's not bad of a movie for sure, but for me, that last third just killed it because it was just uneven and went to some really stupid places. Places that the director and writer found probably silly and funny but it just felt tacked on and stupid and brought the whole movie down to that one stupid joke with a logo and movie title.

A creepy tale about Santa Claus, a demon-like horned creature that spanks children who are naughty to death and who apparently also eats raw meat. During the movie they showed great illustrative depictions of Santa which was a little bit of a let down when they find the real Santa, a creepy and skinny old man. Later it is unraveled that this is actually one of his many elves who are hellbent on protecting their boss (also explains how "Santa" can be in more than one place at once) The real Santa is a huge horned creature encased in an enormous ice block prison. My only issue is that you don't get to see the real Santa in action whatsoever, this may well be due to the budget of the movie, it also annoyed me how easy they managed to do away with him. But all in all, a very original title with a lot of great things going for it! Finding a decent stream of this in English was hard work but definitely worth the time. Will probably watch with friends at some point in the near future :)