Pirates (1986)

brilliant actors, brilliant editing

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Roman Polanski is a fish out of water in this high seas mess that sinks early. Lurching between comedy and drama it never gets much of a footing as it erratically veers off course for two hours. Adrift at sea Captain Red and Jean Baptiste save their lives by crawling onto a Spanish galleon displaying poor manners and get themselves tossed in the brig. On board the ship is a gold throne that Red is determined to take ownership of once he gets the crew to mutiny. Sumptuously photographed with a lush set design Polanski stumbles through it all setting an inconsistent tone from the outset as he attempts to give it a Terry Gilliam dark humor that seems beyond his grasp. A bit of a disappointment given the suspense director made the very funny Fearless Vampire Killers in his younger days with a dark comic wit that took the Dracula theme in a totally different direction. Here he allows things to drag and his comic timing is woefully late. Matthau as Red is decent enough to deserve a better script but overall performances are heavy handed, scene after scene lacks rhythm and a slap happy music score does it no favors. Pirates is one scattered disaster of a picture. Scuttle this scow.

Pirates was shown on TV a few days back so I thought I'd watch it since I knew it was a Polanski film - my knowledge of it was limited to that. When watching, I figured it was a 70s film considering the style, pretty old-school and theatrical. I was later surprised to learn it was actually released in 1986. The first hour or so of the movie was very entertaining. It reminded me, in terms of style, of "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", only with a less impressive soundtrack and instead of cowboys in the desert it's pirates at sea. After an hour I slowly started losing interest. The plot seemed to turn around in circles, and it literally does at the end, leaving me somewhat unsatisfied despite the better first half.Pirates earns points for the fabulous costumes, for which it was nominated at the Oscars, and also the realistic sword fight scenes - the actors don't seem to obey to an elaborate choreography where they hit in the general direction of their opponent, like in Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars, but rather they aim directly at their opponents in harsh fights, and that was refreshing. The pirate Captain Red was fabulous, a typical drunkard gritty personality, however I didn't care in the slightest bit for the other characters.An overall entertaining film and I'm glad I watched it, but to be honest I will probably forget most of it in a few months, and will not go out of my way to recommend it to anyone else.

I am not foolish enough to think that most GREAT stories don't have a least a little bit of fabrication and embellishment involved in creating it. That being said; some level of realism or believability certainly helps get me into a story.When it comes to pirate movies; the idea of some young pretty boy in mascara (Jack Sparrow), who could not intimidate a little old lady on the corner—let alone run a crew of cutthroats, is just a wee bit of a stretch for me. In addition to make believe monsters, and the likes, well suffice it to say, that just don't do it for me.Roman Pulaski's 1986 Pirates is perhaps one of the biggest movie flops of the 80's. A ship costing over eight million dollars was built for the film, and yet it grossed less than two million. This film was a financial and critical blunder, yet in my opinion, it was one of the decade's BEST films. Why? Perhaps if it had some ghosts, goblins, monsters, and giant sea creatures; maybe throw in several 45 minute long battle and fight scenes, with arms and heads flying, blood and gusts spewing everywhere; Maybe if Captain Red would have been some handsome, strapping, young, fellow, who in the end gets the beautiful girl, who is far above his station; And if Disney would have had their name attached to it; Then perhaps this film would have been a so-called success.But this is not that kind of movie. This is a movie that has grit and charm. It is a movie that does an excellent job balancing our all too often, inaccurate, romantic visions of eighteenth century pirates, with a realism in both language and mannerisms, along with a genuine attitude and presence. The characters are real, complete, and believable. The script is creative, intelligent and authentic. The acting is nothing short of amazing; starting with Walter Mathau's who IS Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red, and continuing with The Frog, Lieutenant Don Alfonso de la Torré, Boomako, the Surgeon, Padre, and the list goes on and on.Not what I would necessarily call a comedy, the entire film is laced with witty humor. I do not recall bursting aloud so much, as wearing a constant grin through-out, and chuckling time and time again.The music is inspiring, and the cinema photography is breathtaking.This movie takes you on a fun and exciting adventure, and it is not until the credits roll that you realize this was only a movie, and you were never really there.

Essentially a rehash of every pirate movie ever made, it is predictable, somewhat slow moving at times and chock full of historic anachronisms. Thats the bad part. The good part is Matthau.He pulls out all the stops and makes his character come alive!hough it is a comedic performance{its a pirate movie, right} it is one of the best he has ever given, even considering the excellent work he's done with Jack Lemmon.He IS the show and really towers over what basically is a no-name cast, though the Frog ain't half bad. The part with the rat is priceless. There is good scenery, a17th century galleon that looks the part and a great musical score too.So for something a little bit different and unusual, its worth seeing. Hard to believe a "serious" director like Polanski would do a film like this, but thats part of the fun.