Jonah Hex (2010)

Waste of time

Charming and brutal

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Jonah Hex has been highly criticized from critics and fans alike, and offered a poor run at the box office. With a run time of 81 minutes, the film does move quite slowly in the beginning but after around halfway (once Michael Fassbender's character is introduced more so) it picks up the pace. Although we see the flaws in the film in that it feels rushed, messy and not completely interesting or enjoyable. It reminds somewhat of Ghost Rider (2007) but that film had a more thought-out plot, better backstory, better villains and overall slightly more intriguing.Though it has some decent ideas, we can see why the film was considered a misfire. Even with the faults, the film isn't long enough for a complete disaster and some of the scenery's are quite nice and fight scenes towards the end are entertaining. Josh Brolin plays his role well, and Megan Fox is there for eye candy. Overall Jonah Hex may surprise those wanting something quick and entertaining, and may be better than expecting.

"Dirt likes dead, dead likes dirt, simple as that," we learn in "Jonah Hex," a film well-suited to conversing on the subject of death given its own lifeless nature.Based on a 1970s comic-book character which was inspired by spaghetti westerns, "Hex" makes its film debut with Josh Brolin in the title role, a facially branded bounty hunter who sets out to avenge his murdered family and stop plans by a former Confederate general, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), to destroy Washington, D. C. during a Centennial celebration.Weighing in at 73 minutes, minus end credits, "Jonah Hex" still feels too long, with a padded romantic interest for Jonah in Megan Fox's prostitute character and even a canine companion. Director Jimmy Hayward tries to update the 1800s vibe with allusions to 9/11 involving suicidal Confederate terrorists, which comes off offensively trite and anachronistic."Strike enough fear into people's hearts and eventually they'll tear down the government that failed to protect them," is how Turnbull describes his strategy, which includes blowing up trains and towns full of unarmed civilians."Hex's" propensity for death and destruction over logic and story is a big part of the problem here. An introductory sequence has Hex take on a town of treacherous lawmen who decide they'd rather kill Hex than pay the bounty he earned. Hex shoots them down, which is fine, but then blows up the town for good measure. What's a few innocent civilians in the name of good special effects?A cheapjack vibe hangs over the entire production, from Hex's underbaked backstory to his left-field rescue by mute Indians to his ability to talk to the dead and get useful information. Brolin is typically stolid and decent in his title role, and the make-up people came up with a convincing prosthetic for the strip of flesh that runs down Hex's mouth, but his gravity seems wasted here.The script by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (credited here as Neveldine/Taylor, either out of affectation or anonymity) traffics in cliché. While murdering Hex's family, Turnbull speechifies about how it serves Hex right. As a super villain, Turnbull undertakes his nation-destroying plan under an umbrella of secrecy, even though he leads a small army prone to shooting off their weapons whenever he makes one of his bloodthirsty addresses.Malkovich's coolness is almost enough, but too much of the business around him is just silly, especially Michael Fassbender's goony turn as a maniacal Irishman with a love of explosives. "Hex" is ultimately a movie not about characters but special effects, or in the case of Fox, character as special effect.The idea of crossing the time-honored cowboy-film genre with the more recent craze for comic-book movies seems worthy in theory, but both genres depend on deeper characterization than "Jonah Hex" is either willing or able to deliver. I have no problem with a film that has the living conversing with the dead; I do when it's as hard as it is here to tell which is which.

There's not really anything offensively wrong with "Jonah Hex", but it is a brutal, spirit-crushing disappointment. Here we are in the age of superhero Hollywood, and Hex finally gets his shot. And what we get is . . . this. a painfully flat western that features all sorts of jokey elements - eyesore color grading, gattling guns on a horse, a metal score, Megan Fox, some half-brained superweapon, cut-rate CGI - but plays it numbingly serious. I've never been a big Josh Brolin fan, but he kinda works as Hex. And in a movie helmed by better personnel, he'd be great. He leads a surprisingly high-caliber of talent here. And to see those names on something so inept is just . . . what the hell was going on on this production? Are we ever going to see another Hex outing before the superhero boom runs out of steam? Most likely not, which is the really frustrating part. Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Batman, all headed for another do-over, and a character that deserves better gets this steaming pile? We all got the shaft on this one.2/10

I wanted to love this movie, I really did. But it is such a mess that I can barely even find some kind of silver lining in it. I am a huge fan of the character of Jonah Hex, not only because he is a badass cowboy, but I have always found him intriguing whether it'd be in a cartoon or comic. Yet this movie takes the character and just f***s everything up. Okay, to cut the movie some slack, Josh Brolin does a decent job as Jonah. But the script is so off that he doesn't get to give the perfect Jonah hex performance I thought he would. But overall he is decent. It is also a western which is my favorite overall genre of movies. And while the soundtrack doesn't fit too well, the songs by metal band Mastodon aren't too bad. Now to the stuff that is bad; EVERYTHING ELSE! I am sorry, but everything in this movie (that wasn't mentioned in the previous paragraph) is complete s***. I can't find anything good in this movie and therefore this movie pisses me off. I do not recommend this movie. It sucks. Stay away!