Witchtrap (1989)

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

Kevin S. Tenney wrote and directed two of my favorite 1980's horror films "Witchboard" and "Night of the Demons", so I had high expectations for "Witchtrap". Sadly, I was left disappointed.The plot concerns a group of psychic ghost hunters who team up with some skeptical cops to investigate a haunted mansion nick named "Slaughter House". "Witchtrap" features some of the worst acting I've ever seen. The acting is more wooden than a coffin. The only entertaining character is the lead played by James W. Quinn. He has some pretty funny lines and delivers a solid performance(not hard to do considering the rest of the cast's lack of talent). Yes, Linnea Quigley has a small role but she's wasted and killed quickly. However, she does show off the goods in a nice full frontal shower scene before she is offed.The soundtrack to Tenney's films are usually pretty solid and memorable. Not the case with "Witchtrap". Also the gore is minimal and the kills take place mostly off screen."Witchtrap" features an interesting "Notice" screen before the film begins telling you that "Witchtrap" is NOT a sequel to "Witchboard". Why this was necessary, I don't know. The guy on the cover of the VHS box is Malfeitor from "Witchboard" though...and Quinn also starred in "Witchboard"...ah, screw it, who knows. This notice is also on the back of the VHS box as well."Witchtrap" features death by shower head, "Piggy" from "Night of the Demons", possession, an exploding head, human meltdowns, and a serial killer magician.Till next time horror hounds and fright fanatics, beware the darkness...

A man in a bad suit runs around a house, fleeing something. He dies when he falls out of a second story window. The man was The Amazing Asimov, a Las Vegas magician. The house is in the middle of a cemetery (never really seen), and is haunted by a satanic warlock. The owner hoped to make it an inn, but wants to make sure people who stay there don't get killed by the witch. He hires a team of psychic mediums and cops.The actors are all pretty stiff, and they have to deliver huge amounts of boring dialogue. Not much happens in the movie. The brief death scenes are done fairly well, including a strange shower impalement, and exploding head, and a melting character.

This sorry excuse to waste 90 minutes of everybody's life is really a mess, made by a director infamous for other such bad efforts in the horror range. Yes, even Witchboard wasn't that good and this one is definetely worse. You have a bunch of psychics going hunting for the ghost of a vicious and very powerful warlock who has to reincarnate for getting his revenge. Among the psychics there is also Linnea Quigley (who has the usual shower scene) and she is in the finest scene of all the movie, that is overacted by most of the cast (that is not very good at it). If you mix it with one of the worst script ever to reach the screen, you have a nightmarish experience. A waste of time (and money)

Lauterhouse, affectionately referred to as "slaughterhouse" by its owner Devin Lauter (played by the director, who should have stayed hidden behind the camera!), is a big SoCal mansion on a secluded plot of prime real estate. Devin wants it converted over to a bed and breakfast, but the sadistic ghost of his late uncle, a former stage magician, keeps killing off whoever enters. Paranormal researcher Agnes Goldberg (Judy Tatum) is hired to photograph and exorcise the ghost and organizes a team of paranormal experts that include her "mental medium" husband Felix (Rob Zapple), "psychic medium" Whitney O'Shay (Kathleen Bailey) and sexy video-tech Ginger Kowowski (Linnea Quigley), plus three low-grade rent-a-cops for protection. Naturally, things don't go as planned when Uncle Avery (J.P. Leubsen, the creepy guy from WITCHBOARD) starts to use his powers to kill everyone off.Looking for some of the worst amateur acting and dialogue ever to hit the small screen? Then look no further! Tatum and Bailey are so monotone they make Ben Stein look like Laurence Olivier! Other highlights include a showerhead impaling a neck, a black character who threatens, "I'll tapdance on your face like Bojangles Robinson!," a pudgy voyeur groundskeeper, an exploding head, blood that looks suspiciously like Cherry Kool-Aid, Tenney's trademark AWFUL wisecracks, Linnea in the shower, a possession, a human meltdown and much, much more. It's all delirious fun. I laughed a lot while watching it. In fact, every time I see this for sale, I pick up a copy to give to one of my friends as a gag gift. I would rate this a 9 for laughs and entertainment value and I give it some credit because the plot is actually competent even if much of the dialogue is not, but going by craftsmanship, it's a generous 3 out 10.