Five Golden Dragons (1967)

Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

There are four golden reasons to watch this lightweight comedy- thriller from B-movie programmer king Harry Alan Towers alias Peter Welbeck. 1) the on-location photography of 1960s Hong Kong 2) Margaret Lee who also sings "Five Golden Dragons," a good little tune 3) Maria Rohm 4) Maria Perschy. If not for the latter three, I'd have turned off this movie after 20 minutes. I can't see any reason to actually buy the DVD if you've seen it on TV or Amazon Prime. Affable Bob Cummings basically plays his TV character from "Love That Bob." Evasive, easy-going, constantly chattering small talk, nervous, clumsy and too-cool-for-school, Bob overdoes wiping his face with a handkerchief in the second half. I don't know what that was all about. An endless stream of beefy Chinese thugs in matching Polo shirts chase him around Hong Kong but can't kill him but they do kill off one of the cast sleeping in his hotel bedroom, while he's on the couch snoozing. The rest of the cast in small roles is a Who's Who of movie legends, well-known faces and international actors. Bob was lucky not to have any scenes directly opposite mad man Klaus Kinski, unusually subdued here. It has the same kind of fun-B movie time-killing, ambiance as another Towers production, Bang! Bang! You're Dead! (Our Man in Marrakesh) with Tony Randall who supposedly turned down the Cummings role. Towers had a yen for these Sax Rohmer/Edgar Wallace-style films in the 1960s, ultimately producing and writing over 100 films during his lifetime, adding production value with exotic locations like Beirut and Hong Kong. The editing of the night club performances by Lee and Yukari Ito is poor, interrupting their singing for some meaningless cut-away and then back again to the singers.

I'm sure that Bob Cummings and the guest stars who played the Golden Dragons must have looked forward to a nice trip to Hong Kong as the main reason for signing on for this film. In the case of George Raft his troubles with the IRS are well documented. It's as good a reason as any to appear in this dragging film.Five Men who are the Golden Dragons are operators apparently on both sides of the law and unknown to each other they meet in Hong Kong to dissolve a successful partnership and split their accumulated loot. They wear these silly dragon masks and have a key that opens a lock for admission. If they're not a dragon, they got shot with a turn of said lock.Four of them make it, Dan Duryea, George Raft, Christopher Lee, and Brian Donlevy. The fifth doesn't show up, he's been eliminated. They can't start without him.In the meantime kind of like Cary Grant was sucked into some espionage plot in an infinitely better film, North By Northwest, Bob Cummings gets involved in this whole business. He's an aging playboy in Hong Kong for some fun and frolic. Of course he's not what he seems.Cummings tried to make light of the whole business. Everyone else mouthed the dialog with all the satisfaction of players whose salary checks have cleared.All of you I'm sure have better memories of all the name players in the cast. Keep them.

Unlike the other reviewers, I think the main reason to watch this film, is Robert Cummings, who for some strange reason preferred to bill himself as 'Bob' in the later years of his career! Always a smooth operator on screen, and in my all time top 5 or 6 'comedy' actors, I feel he must have realized early on that he was involved in somewhat of a 'turkey', and decided, wisely I think, to play the whole thing tongue in cheek! No matter what else is, or isn't going on around him, Mr. Cummings himself is always fascinating to watch! And the girls are all gorgeous, and the scenery is nice! It's a pity Cummings couldn't have had a better vehicle for his big screen swansong, but I think the secret of enjoying this film is simply not to take anything seriously!

The cast is probably the biggest draw of "Five Golden Dragons", but be warned: many of those actors (Christopher Lee, Klaus Kinski, etc.) appear only for a few minutes and barely do anything. The main star is Bob Cummings, agreeable enough but slightly too old for the part of the cheerful, happy-go-lucky playboy. As usual in 1960's spy/crime/exotic adventure films (this one was shot on location in Hong Kong), the women (Margaret Lee, Maria Perschy, Maria Rohm) are tremendously sexy, with wonderfully curvy bodies that their various bikinis/dresses do a great job of showcasing. Unfortunately, the film has very little action, and several sequences are extremely dragged-out in length (for example, there are 3 musical numbers back-to-back in the middle), which makes me think that this is one case where the shortened (by 30 minutes!) American version might actually have been superior (it's easy to see the parts that need trimming). One twist near the end works well, but overall this film has to count as a major disappointment. *1/2 out of 4.