Geisha Assassin (2008)

Slow pace in the most part of the movie.

Just perfect...

An Exercise In Nonsense

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

I need to preface this by saying i love cheesy kung fu movies especially from back in the day (Shaolin vs. Manchu is a classic). I also wasn't expecting a good plot, acting, script, filming or effects, but this is just ridiculous. I have never seen a worse movie in my life (check my movies I've seen a lot)Everything is awful and the fight scenes just don't make sense. You can have someone in an arm bar for example and then there's a quick cut scene and the other person is 30 meters away from them. Its just unenjoyable. Most great cheesy kung fu movies were great because of the era they were created in. The movie fan has changed a lot and this just doesn't work. The fight scenes just don't make sense. Watch until about 25 min in and see if im wrong. You want to watch a movie for fighting where the story is secondary? Watch any Tony Jaa film or go to best buy and pick up a 10 pack of old kung fu flicks for 30 bucks. All copies of this should be burned. oh yeah and this is the only movie I've given a 1 to

I was apprehensive about blind buying this movie based upon the trailer, which looked like a B-movie that could end up a total disaster - ala "Legend of Red Dragon" (2002). However, I had an extra $20 in online gift certificates and was in the mood for a new Japanese action flick, so I took a chance - and I'm mighty glad I did. "Geisha vs. Ninjas" is not merely mildly entertaining low-budget fare like the "Gun Crazy" series, but is more entertaining for a number of reasons.First and foremost, low-budget B-grade action flicks have inherent limitations that frequently leave the final product rather wanting. Creating a great action scene with no name actors, little money, and inexperienced stuntmen and choreographers is something incredibly difficult that's accomplished by only the most talented of filmmakers. Most of the time, you end up with a few decent moves mixed in with lots of edits and quick cuts to hide the lack of talent behind and in front of the camera. The people behind "Geisha vs. Ninjas" were the same people behind the action in "Death Trance" (2005) and "Onechanbara" (2008). My expectations were rightfully confused, because "Death Trance" was cool with decent action sequences while "Onechanbara" was stupid with poor action sequences.Most surprisingly, "Geisha vs. Ninjas" has a number of highly effective swordfights and fist-a-cuffs that use wide camera shots that show multiple attacks and counterattacks from the actors, which is a remarkable, extremely impressive feat that must have required a lot of physical practice and rehearsals off camera. One example is the fist fight between the geisha and the monk, which is truly scintillating and is without doubt of a very high quality, even when compared to more popular martial arts fare from Hong Kong and Thailand. Anyone who watches that fight and claims it to be average B-movie quality simply doesn't know what high quality action is.I'm probably taking this review too seriously, so let's get to the ninjas. Unfortunately, the ninjas only appear during the first 20 minutes or so, then disappear for the remainder of the film because the scriptwriters obviously wanted to keep things fresh by substituting other bad guys like monks, demons, tribal women, and samurai - which are entertaining in their own right. Therefore, those expecting lots and lots of ninjas will be disappointed in that regard, but when they are on screen they prove very difficult to kill and break out some crazy maneuvers. In addition, the geisha aspect of the film also drops off at about the same time the ninjas leave, as the lead protagonist discards her geisha outfit and goes for some "period" clothing instead. These are relatively minor quibbles that will be perceived as major negatives to those who so desperately want to see a geisha fight ninjas for ninety minutes.As would be expected, the script is weak and the scoring is generic; but the greatest flaw of this movie is the final half hour, which loses some steam and feels drawn out with too much bland dialogue. This is a blunder because the opening 50 minutes are carried by excellent pacing, energy, and a bit of welcome cheesiness. That's it for the negatives though, and much of these cons are overshadowed by the numerous fight scenes.Some of the early negative reviews on IMDb are ludicrous. The critics nit-pick the unrealistic aspects of this movie like the length of a sword, as if I care that the length of a weapon was extended for use in a film about a GEISHA FIGHTING NINJAS! Another criticism is that ninjas can't fly and that a geisha swordswoman could never be as strong as the one portrayed here. Well, let me tell you this. In a movie about a GEISHA FIGHTING NINJAS, some superhuman strength and gravity-defying abilities are more than welcome if the characters kick as much rear-end as they do here. The mere premise of this film is so ludicrous than one wonders why anyone would watch it with the slightest expectation for realism. And by the way, ninjas can do anything they want. Do you know why? Because they're ninjas, that's why.So yeah, this movie is cool in all sorts of ways. For brainless fun, you're in for a good time.

The film's plot is very simple and old that's you can tell the end at the first you saw it.A young girl revenge to a man not know the reason and no one really care about it,the action began,not surprisingly the young girl defeated very enemy blocks on her way which doesn't make sense,the girl fights two bodyguard,four ninjas,a monk,she was stabbed by a female ninja on the shoulder that makes a lot of act is physically impossible to be done,but she did and killed them all, fake.the ninjas fly to the sky ,do the posture stuff with his partners which can make you laugh or bore,fake.The girl fights a monk which is larger and stronger on size and she still defeated him by her strength ,fake.After that I fell asleep and never wake up until next morning.So any positive about this film?It's can make you a good sleep!Especially on Sunday evening ,you need it!So it's a typical orient fake action movie you may have watched for thousand times. anyone think this is good because they never see any film in this categories,so I suggest you go watching Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal,which is the masterpiece in every sense of the world.

I ask you? Why would a Geisha fight Ninjas? Let me tell you, I watched it without subs!! Can you believe it, WITHOUT SUBTITLES!!! I give it 10 out of 10. This movie is a mix of Japanese warriors where they meet and fight. Lets start with the action. Go Ohara is the action director who directed the action in Death Trance and Onechanbara The Movie. The action is like a Japanese wire-fu. There are a lot of flying ninjas throwing smoke bombs, a tough monk, a Japanese barbarian and another monk which he used some magics to contact demons!! Wow, what a show. Japanse B-Movies are entertaining and funny. There are a lot sword fights, punching, kicking, smashing and smack down. The story is simple, is about geisha who seeks revenge of her fathers death. By killing the killer. I didn't understood what he mean't that why he killed her father. But in the movie, I saw the father who began the fight. The acting, well... A bit.....okay, good. The direction is simple. The setting is nice and beautiful. Especially in the begininning of the movie where the Geisha walks at night in Edo. Very nice. The overall is positive. You will expect soo many things. Have I ever felt the movie is dull? No. Thats all I can say and the ending. Well, I don't want to spoil the ending but you might get a surprise. But not a big one.