Secret Agent Super Dragon (1966)

The Worst Film Ever

Lack of good storyline.

Highly Overrated But Still Good

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Secret agent Bryan Cooper (aka Super Dragon) is called out of retirement to investigate mass hysteria in Fremont, Michigan where college students are committing murder and mayhem en masse. He figures out that it's got something to do with chewing gum being handed out in a local bowling alley and he traces the source to Europe where, with the help of a gangster (a dead ringer for Andy Devine) sprung from Sing Sing to give him a hand, he contacts "our man in Amsterdam", Charity Farrell (luscious Marisa Mell), and together they discover an Ernst Blofeld-type megalomaniac hellbent on, what else, world domination... Robotic Ray Danton, with his black patent leather hair and flinty onyx orbs that make him look positively reptilian, was at his best playing slimy bastards and the role of a smarmy, quick-thinking government agent doesn't suit him. He does his own stunts (as threadbare as they are) with all the agility of a mechanical bear and since he's an unlikely babe magnet, Ray's feminine conquests are as absurd as the plot. Amsterdam locations and a bit of tacky flair here and there can't elevate this James Bond rip-off any higher than sub-par but Marisa Mell, here "by special arrangement" according to the opening credits, ups the pulchritude ante as does sexy British starlet Margaret Lee (looking a bit like Diana Dors) as Cooper's Miss Moneypenny-ish "old reliable". Unless you're as fond of the dramatis personae as I am, find something better to do with your time but, that said, there's an MST3K version out there and I'll bet it's a blast.

I'll keep the plot synopsis short and sweet. Most of Secret Agent Super Dragon was so unnecessarily confusing that little of the plot seemed to matter anyway. In this James Bond wannabe, CIA agent Super Dragon (Ray Danton) goes up against a Venezuelan drug lord who uses candy to distribute his merchandise. Anything else beyond that wouldn't be much more than speculation as I found myself completely in the dark during much of the movie. I'm not one who needs to be spoon-fed plot points, but how about making what's going on just a little clearer? Too much of the movie seemed like a series of unrelated set pieces that didn't fit together.But the biggest problem with Secret Agent Super Dragon is the same thing that plagues a lot of these James Bond inspired films – money. The James Bond movies had the financial backing to pull it off. These Italian movies like Secret Agent Super Dragon can't match that kind of money. As a result, they suffer from weak scripts and acting, a lack of interesting multiple locations, poor special effects, a very anti-climatic ending, and anything else you can spend money on to make a movie better.That's not to say the movie was a total waste. In fact, I enjoyed quite a bit of it. Danton is above average in the title role. He's slick and clever – just what you would expect from a secret agent. Marisa Mell and Margaret Lee would give any Bond girl a run fir her money. Finally, there is a sense of fun about the movie that I liked a lot. Those behind the movie were smart enough to never take it too seriously. As a result, the movie's light, almost bubbly, feeling is an asset.

Let's face it, the James Bond franchise has been a cash cow for decades and decades, so it's only natural that people who would never get past Albert Broccoli's receptionist would want to make their own version of the character and get in on some of the money, er, fun. The results can be wildly variable. Movies like "Our Man Flint" is at the top of the pile, and stuff like Dean Martin's versions of the "Matt Helm" novels are near the very bottom. Films like "Agent For H.A.R.M." are at the absolute nadir, movies that make you want to punish Ian Fleming for ever starting the modern version of the escapist spy thriller in the first place. Judged this way, the version of "Secret Agent Super Dragon" I saw, with English dubbing and razzed in the foreground by the Mystery Science 3000 crew, falls somewhere in the middle.(Unlike some purists, I believe that you can judge a film fairly if you see the MST3K version. I always find them amusing, but I can still give a film a fair chance in spite of the heckling from the robots). The best thing SASD has going for it is the lead actor, who is so incredibly suave and Continental that you can almost overlook his preening smugness. Almost. In order to make the character more exotic and interesting, the screenwriters fall all over themselves to give him unusual talents, especially "yogic control" over his breath and metabolism. Of course, that's one of the ways you can tell a second rate, wanna-be spy screenplay - Bond (especially the Connery Bond) didn't have or need no stinking exotic talents. He was just ultimately cool, tough, and ruthless. Still "Cooper" is pretty good, if somewhat bland, and he can almost carry the movie. What sinks it, in the end, is the awkward English dubbing (I'm sure the dialog sounded less contrived in its original language) and the unconvincing plot, along with less-than thrilling action sequences and florid, uninvolving costumes and locations. (Except for the windmills...those were kind of cool.)I'd watch any of the Bond films (even the lamer Roger Moore ones) a dozen times before I'd watch "SASD" again. Still, as a standalone spy film, this is nice, if tame, fun. OTOH, if you're going to compete with the Bond franchise, you'd better bring something really good to the party (like James Coburn) or you are a bound to look pretty lame in comparison. Trying to compete with Broccoli's brand without having the firepower to back their play costs them at least two stars. So: 4 out of 10.

Secret Agent Super Dragon has become a touchstone of Bondian spoofs thanks to wide availability on the gray market and the misguided shenanigans of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Those who actually watch this movie will find, much to their surprise, that it is a competent and fairly serious exercise compared to many of its genre kindred. Admittedly there is enough cheapness and silliness to keep the viewer from thinking too highly of it but it won't disappoint entirely.