Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (1964)

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Best movie of this year hands down!

It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.

Imagine a cheap peplum yarn with the loincloths replaced by colourful glittery clothes and what you have is ALI BABA AND THE SEVEN SARACENS, an often hilarious and entertaining far eastern adventure yarn, Italian-style, which follows as familiar a plot as there is. The good guys get captured, escape, are captured again and escape to triumph. Lots of action punctuates the story whilst characters change allegiance and friendships grow. From the very beginning you know that the bad guys are going to get what they deserve and the good guys are going to live happily ever after, but there's enough going on here to make you forget about the storyline.It's clear that there wasn't a lot of money around to make this production, so director Emimmo Salvi cuts corners by filming in a quarry somewhere in Italy and on some really cheap sets on occasion. In fact most of the action takes place in one location, a castle and its huge courtyard, so don't expect any lush eastern backdrops as the title might suggest. The different setting is never exploited at all; change the characters and costumes and this might as well be a peplum film, the story is so straightforward and simple. There are even gladiator fights and chariots, so one surmises that the far eastern angle was tacked on to make it a bit more intriguing than your standard peplum film.The never heard-of Rod Flash stars as Ali Baba, and is about as wooden and uninteresting as you could get in a peplum film; personally I prefer my Italian hero to be a strongman (unless it's Cameron Mitchell) so Flash makes little or no impression. His thunder is stolen by Gordon Mitchell, who gives a fantastically over-the-top performance of scenery chewing as Omar, the evil bad guy. Mitchell delivers his cruel dialogue with relish and really seems to be having the ball, instantly adding to the entertainment value of the film. Also hanging around and looking voluptuous is Bella Cortez, a peplum mainstay and as beautiful as ever here. Amusing supporting characters include a guy with one of the most hilarious depictions of a nervous tic in screen history, and a wisecracking comic-relief dwarf who spends the entire running time crawling around in air vents like some miniature Bruce Willis.Although the story is less than impressive, the action scenes are fluent and entertaining. Their simplicity gives them a raw power which I liked and you always know that somebody is going to fight in the next five minutes, so things never become boring. The finale involves a huge uprising against Mitchell and his soldiers which ends with a fantastically gory gag, much to the viewers enjoyment. On top of this, there's an over-the-top music score which goes out of its way to be exciting and plenty of bad dubbing to be enjoyed (!). All in all a fun way to spend eighty minutes with a cheesy Italian adventure yarn.

Omar (Gordon Mitchell) intends to be the winner of a tournament to the death between the 8 leaders of the desert tribes. His most despised opponent is Sinbad (Dan Harrison, dubbed 'Alibaba' in the English version). Sinbad is in love with the beautiful princess Fatima (Bella Cortez), and when they both fall into the hands of Omar, he promises to Sinbad: "You are going to die a slow and agonizing death in personal combat, and Fatima is going to watch you die!" However, that has to wait until the tournament, and a lot could happen until then...For a cheap oriental adventure, typical genre work of a little known director (Emimmo Salvi), this is surprisingly watchable. Surely the English version suffers a bit from the cuts, the Italian version was more than 10 minutes longer. But the camera work makes the fight scenes or the horse-cart race at the tournament look pretty good and Gordon Mitchell has a menacing, strong presence (he worked with the same director again in '3 Bullets For Ringo'). Nothing special, but acceptable.

Is it possible to give any rates to a movie like this one? At first I thought they should have the option to give 0 points, but well, let's see what happened to me while watching this movie.First of all: I was amazed that I could sit it out till the end! Maybe that's because if you watch this movie as a comedy, you can have a good laugh, although a glass of alcohol or something else stimulating might be needed to help you really laugh out loud.Imagine, a Princess like Fatima going back to Ali Baba, telling him that she loves him, while only about 1 minute ago in the movie she cries with horror when she discovers his necklace!So where did I find my points? Well, first of all the actor who plays Ali Baba is quite sexy, and at the same time so clumsy that it looks like a slapstick. Halfway there is some exotic dancer who, according to me, must have been one of the first actors ever to have come out of the closet simply by dancing like this in a movie :-) And finally, we see a great cat-fight (two women fighting), so there you have my 3 points.No, sorry, I can not say much to encourage you to watch, unless you are like me, you want to watch anything you can watch simply to be able to vote at IMDb.... and I would say, THAT's a good reason as any other!Hans

I'm not sure that strictly speaking this movie is classifiable as a peplum. Peplum films are often characterized as Italian action movies that take place in ancient times and star Hercules, a Son of Hercules or one of many Hercu-surrogates. Feisty midgets sidekicks are not uncommon and there is usually at least one veil dance. The leading man in this film, while definitely a hero, is of non-Herculean stature. The movie also seems to take place in Medieval Middle East. However the movie does bear many similarities to the classic peplum including: 1. Gorgeous heaving Mediterranean women who majored in Veil Dancing in B-Movie finishing school, 2. The hero is a man of the people who delivers the masses from the rule of an oppressive tyrant, 3. If you try to follow the plot literally you'll end up in a straightjacket or with your head in a gas oven. Better to just flow along like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty river and enjoy the ride. For these reasons I am awarding this movie Honorary Peplum Status.Piecing together the plot from scraps of intelligible dialogue was like deciphering the Rosetta stone, only much, much more difficult. I think it shakes out like this: An evil dude named Omar wants to win the Golden Throne of the Maji, which would give him total power over whatever country this thing takes place in. You can tell he's evil because he is always whipping someone, slapping someone or laughing maniacally and because he walks around shirtless and aggressively flashing his beefy nipples at everyone. "Cower before Omar's mighty nipples!!!" is a line often heard through this film. In order to win the Throne he has to fight the kingdoms greatest warriors, the Seven Saracens, plus another warrior who has been chosen by the gods (Ali Baba). Since he is evil he imprisons Ali Baba and a smoking hot princess with the hope that somehow this will help him defeat the other Saracens during the Big Tournament and Harvest Ball.Ali isn't imprisoned long thanks to the intervention of Jookie the cunning dwarf (is there any other kind?). The most moving part of the film is when Jookie bids farewell to Ali, the only person to treat him like a friend, and the dwarf breaks down and cries. There's also a scene where a chubby guy in a turban dances on a tabletop for the rest of the prisoners who are clapping and laughing. I'm not sure what that scene was supposed to bring to the narrative, but it was disturbing enough to take your mind off the lonely, sobbing midget.Well no sooner is Ali Baba away from the influence of a more competent person, which could have been anyone really, then he winds up captured and right back in Omar's torture garden.Does he escape, win the throne, defeat Omar O'the Nipples and get the fabulous babe? Are you new? Of course he does, but I'll let this little flower of a film unveil its final petals for you all by itself.The mass fight scenes are laughably terrible. The fencers seem more interested in not getting hit and then also in not hitting their opponent so you have a mob of burly guys in armor dancing gingerly around each other. In a few scenes I saw some of the extras appear to stop fighting and lean on their swords in order to catch their breath. But they were husky lads wearing heavy armor under a hot sun, so maybe they needed the break.Believe it or not, it's the acting that makes this movie.Not the acting of Bruno Piergentili who plays Ali Baba. He seems about as wooden and vaguely constipated as many peplum heroes, but who says the male lead in these movies has to be interesting? In this movie that's left to the supporting cast.Gordon Mitchell as Omar makes an excellent over the top villain. Seriously he was more than a match for most peplum heroes. He menacingly glowers like nobodies business and tears up every scene he's in. Gordon Mitchell is just a whole lot of fun to watch.Bella Cortez as Fatima, the bodacious babe, is the reason the word voluptuous was invented. She's why cavemen painted pouty lips on cave walls. Acting.....um.....yeah I think she does some acting.Franco Doria played Sharif, Omar's aide de camp. He's evil, manipulative, cool headed, aloof and intellectual. He what would happen if Dick Cheney and Mr. Spock had a baby and Franco plays him perfectly.Tony Di Mitri played Jookie the dwarf, who is the smartest and noblest character in the story. He's a likable guy.The best fight scene is when the Harem girls take on Omar's personal bodyguards. Those girls had A lot of repressed anger.Ali Baba is as cheesy as it gets, but it's earnest in a Lil' Rascals/Andy Hardy "Let's put on a show" kind of way. It's ill scripted, improbable and illogical, but it still wants you to have a good time. So I say, if you're in the mood for some dopey fun and a ridiculously hot Cuban actress, give this movie a shot.