Trader Hornee (1970)

Better Late Then Never

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

Simple and well acted, it has tension enough to knot the stomach.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

This crappy sex comedy was apparently based on a classic movie with a similar title. That fact doesn't make any difference, however, because as a porn film, a spoof, a jungle adventure or anything else; Trader Hornee is a crappy film that doesn't work on any level. The plot is just an excuse for the main characters to venture off into the jungle and have sex and focuses on the hunt for a so-called 'White Gorilla'. The film is laden with a load of humour and none of it works very well at all and succeeds only in being irritating. There is a fair bit of sex and nudity, but it's not all that good in context and the fact that there is a hell of a lot of better porn films than this one makes watching it even more of a chore. To the film's credit, the production values actually aren't that bad and the set design is decent enough - although this isn't all that good considering that most people won't be watching this film to admire the sets! This film might appeal to fans of cheesy soft-core porn, but such people could definitely find better examples than this one. I don't recommend anyone wastes time on this film.

My Dad's favorite movie of all time is the 1931 Harry Carey African adventure "Trader Horn," and I think he would be both appalled and amused to learn that a 1970 skin-flick comedy had later been made based on it. Well, leave it to those maniacs at Something Weird to retrieve this one from obscurity, and give it a nice DVD treatment, too. In "Trader Hornee," Indiana detective Hamilton Hornee (pronounced "Horn") ventures to wildest Africa (an Africa that looks strangely like rural California) with his hotty redheaded secretary to locate an heiress who's been missing for 15 years. Accompanying them are the heiress' S&M-loving cousins, a doofus naturalist looking for the legendary white ape Nabuko, reporter Tender Lee, and a drunken safari guide. Anyway, this film mixes some very soft-core sex scenes with incredibly lame humor of the vaudeville-circuit calibre. Thus, when captured by the jive-talking Meshpokas tribe (I can almost hear all the Yiddish speakers out there collectively groaning about now!), Hornee tells them, "Wait, I'm a friend of Sammy Davis, Jr." The vast majority of the jokes fall equally flat (how did they ever manage to skip a line about "bushwhacking"?), although there are unintentional laffs in abundance. All four of the film's gals look pretty nice, however, and the picture, though filmed on the cheap, looks surprisingly decent, too. Despite the insipid humor, I was somehow never bored. As far as spoofs go, I suppose one could do a lot worse, and you will certainly be more than amused when the Meshpokas go into their choreographed native song and dance, I promise you! I found this dumb movie fun enough, although I'm still not in any hurry to tell my Dad of its existence...

For a jungle film, the sets were a bit too perfect. They looked like they were filmed at a local park.The scenes at the camp were also laughable. Someone built a tree house or two in their backyard and made a few scenes there.Now for the good points; The ladies were HOT. Typical jungle film there. The jungle lass wearing provocatively styled animal skins. And the ladies in the safari party wearing REALLY tight shorts. Do women really dress that way on an expedition? The film was obviously padded. It seemed like some of it was added on at the last minute.The film didn't stink. But see it only if there's nothing else.It wouldn't be x-rated today, but it's still a tad naughty.

I saw this one many years ago at a drive-in; part of a double or triple feature. I probably shouldn't go into details where the original sexual content is concerned, but it would still be X by today's standards! Part of the comedy/sex angle involved the villainous redhead's scoping out potential sex partners while her male cohort was plotting crimes. I don't think any Academy Awards were being considered for this cast or film, but Trader Hornee had some watchable goofiness and explicit sex scenes.I purchased a DVD of this not too long ago, and regrettably had to send it back for a refund. All of the sex had been edited out, and I think other content was removed as well. Having seen the REAL one, I couldn't accept the "updated" version. Trader Hornee, edited and sex-deleted, is like The Exorcist without the turning head and the green puke!!!