Mob Handed (2016)

Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

It isn't all that great, actually. Really cheesy and very predicable of how certain scenes are gonna turn play out. However, I guess that's the charm of it all, because I would consider this one of my guilty pleasures.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

I found this movie when searching for Jess Conrad after watching him in The Boys (1961). He resembled a young Tom Cruise. So finding him in this God awful movie was a hand of fate. Do not waste your time, there is nothing, nothing redeeming or worth watching in this disaster. The acting is laughable, story line ridiculous, and I feel terrible for watching even 15 minutes. I skipped through most of it just to see Jess Conrad as an older man. That's it. Don't do it, I'm warning you.

When I realized that there was an actor in this vigilante movie named Charles Bronson, I laughed. Charles Bronson, king of the seventies and eighties vigilante movies from the USA. Remember DEATH WISH long series..No user seems to have noted it. This very feature is so bad, so cheap but son fresh to watch in the same time. I was not bored only a second in this UK crime movie. And I begin to get used to UK crap. The British, crap, grade B - I would say - Z industry seemed to begin in the late nineties, although I discovered it only a couple of years ago through UK Amazon DVDs. But I sometimes found some good gems such as GUVNORS or TOP DOG. I still have batches to see. I will keep you informed, of course. See you soon.

I was recommended this film by a friend, who had seen it and spread the word because in his words "you need to see how horrendous this is." Its like a lucky dip of absolute mess. The lead actress Yvette Rowland appeared in another rotten film of the same ilk called "Killer Bitch", which featured British porn stars who acted her off the screen, she was so bad. Amazingly she's even worse here.There's an episode of Only Fools and Horses where Rodney Trotter is making a student film, and Del Boy is getting money off a bunch of people around the city to star in it. I can only assume this is how the casting process went here. There are people from every kind of Z-list TV area in this thing. Half the cast of the Bill shows up, I imagine because Celebrity Big Brother wasn't interested that month. Former child actors who haven't worked in years and haven't seen down the lens of a camera since they were caught stealing from Poundstretcher. Dave Courtney pops up in a tank. What?! Daniella Westbrook and Dirty Den arrive to bring the star power. Either Leslie Grantham hasn't got any work coming in anymore or he's on a mission to do something so embarrassing on camera that people forget about him sucking his finger on a webcam.Basically the plot is that there is a pedo on the loose, who killed the daughter of the lead actress and now she's out for revenge. Only she portrays all the emotion of someone who isn't pleased that someone left the iron on. There's a lot of cockney accents saying "fakin' slag." The actors in this make Danny Dyer look like Laurence Olivier doing Hamlet. Its the pits. I was jealous of some of the torture scenes in this, because all I could say to the TV was "you don't know how good you've got it mate." The funniest thing about it is that the lead actress is listed as "producer" as well. If the whole film was meant to build up to that punchline then this film maybe knock off This Is Spinal Tap as the funniest movie ever. What a brilliant build. Either than or she's dating the bloke who is funding it (which seems way more likely), because there is no other way she'd be hired by anyone else to act.You should watch it. It may be the worst film ever.

This is by far the worst movie I have seen in a long time, a tale of a hideous pedofile ring, headed up by some very powerful people. That's the story but the delivery is something else, a lead who clearly cannot act, a supporting actor who has elements of skil. But then you have the biggest collection of rejections I have ever seen, big names bought down to the very bottom of the ladder due to lack of work. Cathy Tyson from Mona Lisa bought to a quivering shell. That woman of Three Up Two Down who now seems like she's either detoxing from something or has severe Parkinson's and that guy Campling who will turn up in anything as long as he's give 50p to show up.I'm sorry for the venom, but this is a spectacle of awfulness not bought one single positive spec. Photography is awful, story awful, performances awful.then there is the song, oh please England stop making films like this.