Blast Vegas (2013)

Sadly Over-hyped

Don't listen to the negative reviews

Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

DESTRUCTION: LAS VEGAS is a particularly stupid disaster-themed TV movie featuring a starring role for an all-grown-up Frankie Muniz, star of TV's MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE. This one sees a whole group of youthful idiots heading off for a fun weekend in Vegas, only to accidentally unleash an ancient Egyptian curse when they get their hands on a magic sword. It's as dumb as it sounds, chock full of particularly bad CGI sandstorm effects and some remarkably bad acting. The only fun comes from a scenery-chewing Barry Bostwick in support and brief, random cameos from Joe Dante and John Landis.

There has definitely been worse movies on the SyFy Channel, and Blast Vegas- or Destruction: Las Vegas- is one of those movies that you should try to watch without expecting too much or take it for what it is. Unfortunately even when trying to do that, Blast Vegas came off as a real mess. Barry Bostwick is okay and at least he tries to have some fun, and the attack in the underground parking does have some excitement and tension. The rest of the acting is very bad though, Joe Dante and John Landis are wasted in literally irrelevant cameo appearances and Frankie Muniz's lead performance is both uncharismatic and charmless. With the characters they are so cardboard and poorly developed you cannot root for any of them and some even do things that are infuriatingly ridiculous. The dialogue has no spark either, it's either very bland, it's very shallow-sounding throughout, or too reliant on the silliness, and sadly the silliness is not fresh or witty enough to be effective. The story has one good scene amongst the numerous but soulless action sequences, dull pacing, disaster scenes that lack any kind tension or sense of danger(not helped by that the characters show no signs of being genuinely concerned about what's happening) and dramatic scenes that are frankly predictable and ham-fisted. The movie is not cheaply made- well apart from the special effects which look hurried and poorly textured- but shows no sense of style, and the direction is similarly characterless. The music plays too much of a dirge and isn't memorable enough in the slightest, at no point either does it do anything to enhance what's happening. In conclusion, has a couple of redeeming merits but a very. very bad movie that is really bland with no character, energy or soul. 2/10 for Bostwick and one good sequence. Bethany Cox

SyFy cranks out another bomb. A gaggle of friends attack Las Vegas for Spring Break; on the agenda is getting nerd Nelson(Frankie Muniz)laid. One of Nelson's dimwit friends steals an ancient Egyptian sword on display mocking the warning of a curse. Nelson strikes up a friendship with a plain looking girl named Olive(Maggie Castle)and it is nerd love at first sight. Uh Oh, the curse kicks in and the city that never sleeps becomes ground zero for an unusual sand storm fueled by massive tornadoes with hurricane-like winds. Nelson and Olive realize what is happening and discover the way to stop Vegas from being blown off the map. The group of friends gather to hunt for key elements to stop the curse. Good thing that legendary lounge lizard Sal Rowinski(Barry Bostwick)is willing to show the Spring Breakers shortcuts through underground tunnels to find the way to keep the bright lights of Vegas from going out forever. Lame as lame can be. SyFy's gamble on this one craps out quickly. The special effects don't do anything to redeem the silly script. Other members of the cast: Jillian Nelson, Summer Bishil, Andrew Lawrence, Adam Walker with cameos by Jon Landis and Joe Dante.

This movie is as bad as a summer in Indonesia, without air/con. Watching it injured my soul: ultra-bad comes to mind. It is similar in smell to old sneakers, soaked in a swamp and stuffed into Icelandic shark cheese. Life is not fair and this movie proves it. The CGI made me hate computers as a rule, despite a career utilizing them for pure purpose. Luckily, this film was commercially supported and there were some delightful adverts during the break. I've enjoyed many holidays in Las Vegas ( none of which involved the mixed-metaphors written herein) and can say safely that no great English/Egyptian sword threatens a visitor: on the contrary; beware of gonorrhea and of crabs.