Ninja: The Final Duel (1986)

It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL is a fun and cheesy ninja movie from Taiwan's Robert Tai, a man you can rely upon to churn out shlocky but highly entertainment. This film is no different. A squad of evil ninjas are skilled in various different disciples and decide to destroy the Shaolin Temple. Much action ensues, and a big influence seems to be Chang Cheh's FIVE ELEMENT NINJA.Some of the ninjas have claws and can climb trees like a cat; others use ropes for rock and tree climbing. Certain ones use spades and straws to burrow and live beneath the sand. Best of the lot are the ones riding giant amphibious spiders in scenes which mark the movie's cheesy highlight. The main ninja bad guy hides a natty pair of navy shorts beneath his billowing white robes.Against this evil group are the stock heroes, including Alexander Rei Lo in what is a very typical performance for the star. Half of the running time seems to be extremely random, with one lengthy sequence involving a couple of western actors (including Toby Russell, Ken's kid, and Silvio Azolini) playing Hare Krishnas who turn up to seek solace at the the temple. Eugene Thomas has a fine turn as a peace-loving monk who ends up kicking backside regardless, and Yi-Min Li has a smaller role as one of the elder monks.Inevitably there's a ton of action here, most of it cheesy and amusing, with basic camera tricks used to portray the secret skills of the ninjas. The film isn't gory but there are a few bloody moments and at least one decapitation. Listen out for music ripped from GHOSTBUSTERS and RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II as well as sonar effects from DAS BOOT. High art this isn't, but entertaining it certainly is.

Having previously heard a great deal about this film and its sizable cult following and being a big fan of ninja movies (especially really bad ones!) I was pretty eager to view this in order to see for myself what all the fuss was about.Having now viewed the film in question I can say two things: 1) Sadly, this is a somewhat mundane, formulaic and underwhelming affair but.... 2) It does have a number of utterly hilarious scenes on offer!The plot concerns a group of ninja who seek to destroy the inhabitants of the Shaolin Temple as an act of revenge. At the same time a skilled fighter and monk (played by Alexander Lou) has also travelled from japan to visit the temple with the wish to gain insightful Buddhist knowledge. Inevitably Lou gets tangled up in the resulting conflict and eventually finds himself fighting side by side with the Buddist monks against the ruthless stealth assassins.As I previously said, the above plot provides nothing out of the ordinary and plays as a typical kung fu outing (although the martial arts are well staged throughout). In fact had this been all there was to the proceedings then this film would surely have been an entirely forgettable affair. However, luckily for us there are some highly memorable and hilarious scenes included that lift this film immeasurably.One is some lines of hilarious dialogue that crop up throughout the film. Just check out the verbal exchanges when Lou takes on regular co-star Eugene Thomas....Which incidentally brings me on to another major plus in the film...some of the bizarre characters. Eugene for instance, appears as The Black Monk Of Harlem (!!!), a jive talking, peace loving (but expert fighter when called to defend himself) monk who is paying the Shaolin Temple a visit. Also of note are a comical pair of Hari Krishna westerners who are also trying to gain admittance to the Temple (and who promptly get a good beating for their troubles!)Finally, there's some hilarious stand out scenes, most notably a feisty female fighter who, caught off guard by the ninja, is forced to fight in the buff and of course the scene that this film is most famous for, the Water Spider Attack Team! Words simply cannot describe how hilarious the sequences in which this ninja assault squad feature really are! (especially when we see them frantically paddling and kicking as their spider goes absolutely nowhere!)To summarise, whilst in itself this isn't a great film by any means, it does nonetheless boast enough daft scenes to surely induce much mirth in any self respecting fan of bad movies......now where can I get hold of a spider inflatable?

This has got to be the most absurd ninja movie I've ever seen. And hence, it offered plenty of laughs, haha! Let's see: the music is directly lifted from Rambo 2, sonar pings when the ninjas are about to attack, a whistle that sounds like an Atari game that controls the ninjas, Shaolin fighting monks from California (complete with a tinfoil star on their forehead and clam shell earrings), a black Shaolin monk from Harlem (ghetto dialogue from AND to him), bloody violence, a lot of hearty laughing (the ninja's leader, after defeating the black monk, transports away three times, laughing at every stop), a fully nude female who does high kicks and splits in the air, and, of course, the Water Spider Assault Unit! The ninjas ride these large spider floats in the water. I tell you, there's nothing quite like watching ninjas scoot along the water, frantically kicking with their feet to move. It's astounding. Stars ninja flick regular, Alexander Lo Rei.

This movie was full of very good, fast-paced Kung Fu fighting. Most of it was between Ninjas and Shaolin Monks. The presence of the Shaolin Temple in any Kung Fu movie is a good sign. I love to see ninjas in Kung Fu movies, and this movie used them wonderfully. This is a period film, that takes place devoid of any guns or modern technology. I vastly prefer period Kung Fu films to those set in present day.Some may say I am somewhat of a Kung Fu movie expert, and the only actor that I was familiar with in this movie was Alexander Lou, of "Shaolin Versus Lama" fame (which, by the way, is an incredible movie). Lou put s forth a great performance. The fighting is largely wire-free; most wire usage is limited to ninjas jumping from trees and other minor feats. There's lots of hand-to-hand combat, as well as plenty of weapon usage, particularly sticks and swords. The best aspect of the fighting (which is a very important one within all Kung Fu movies) is the fact that they are not too far apart. People watch Kung Fu movies to see Kung Fu fighting, and 45 minutes of solid plot-development just doesn't cut it. In that department, this film keeps the momentum fairly steady.In addition to the great fighting, this movie contained lots of very funny and amusing campiness. Any Kung Fu fanatic should understand that part of the Kung Fu movie charm is their characteristic camp-factors. This movie contains all the standards: ridiculously long facial hair/eyebrows, poorly-executed camera tricks, cliché zooms and pans. In addition to these delightful gems, the humor in this movie (be it intentional or not) goes above and beyond the call Buddha. These gems include disappearing ninjas, gimmicky cat costumes with tree-scaling claws, and ninjas with burrowing powers comparable to a mole. If you want to be surprised by hilarity, then skip to the next paragraph. But, for those of you who are curious about the 3 funniest parts of the movie... 1) I saw an overdubbed version. There was a black Shaolin monk from Harlem in the movie, whose voice was clearly that of a skinny white guy trying to sound like Isaac Hayes. And it only made it better that he spoke in stereotypical 70s street, with lines such as "She's ash, so don't give me this trash!" and "You must be jivin'!" and met with retorts such as "The ghetto in the sky is where you're headed!", "Don't give me that rap!", and simply "You black son of a bitch!" 2) The waterspiders, which are essentially spider-shaped rafts that ninjas ride, are possibly the lease graceful and lease effective device i have ever seen a ninja use. It's hilarious to watch them paddle their spiders around as they struggle to keep up with the Shaolin Monks. 3) Nothing beats full frontal fighting. A woman is bathing when ninjas attack, so naturally she jumps out of the tub and starts Kung Fu fighting with no modesty concerning her clearly visible cooch and boobies (to both the ninjas and the audience).In summary, I thought this movie delivered a good balance of expert fighting, and funny gimmicks. If you're looking for a moving drama, or a tear-jerking romance, then this movie is not for you. But who watches a Kung Fu movie expecting those things anyway? So, for being an authentic Kung Fu period piece that isn't afraid to be what it is, I give Ninja: The Final Duel an 8 out of 10. Not the best Kung fu movie I've ever seen, but certainly a worthy film that does the genre justice.