Alchemy (2005)

Waste of time

It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.

Just intense enough to provide a much-needed diversion, just lightweight enough to make you forget about it soon after it’s over. It’s not exactly “good,” per se, but it does what it sets out to do in terms of putting us on edge, which makes it … successful?

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

I watched this as a Netflix streaming movie. I was drawn to it mostly because it features Tom Cavanagh who played the bowling alley lawyer on the early 2000s TV series "Ed." I enjoy his acting style, and in "Alchemy" plays much the same type of character, but is a computer nerd instead.Tom Cavanagh is Mal Downey who is a professor doing research in advanced computer intelligence. When he comes to work, his voice is all that is needed for the computer, Jerry, to unlock his lab door. But Mal finds out his funding, AND his employment, will end shortly unless he becomes published.The rest is pure silliness, but entertaining silliness. Mal decides to try to get published by staging a competition between his computer and a noted speaker, the "love Guru", to see which can get a test subject, a pretty girl, to say "I Love You." Michael Ian Black who was on of Ed's bowling alley employees on the TV series is the voice of the computer, Jerry. Sarah Chalke is the subject, the pretty girl, Samantha Rose . James Barbour is the love Guru, Dr. Troy Rollins.Do you think Mal will get the girl in the end? And maybe forget about trying to get published? That is my guess.

Mal (Tom Cavanaugh) is a typical anti-social professor, totally obsessed with his own research. So much so that he has failed to do the 1st commandment of university instruction, "publish or perish". Therefore, unless he gets his recent findings into a major journal, his days are numbered as a researcher. His friend and colleague (Ileanna Douglas) has also tried to set Mal up with women but he has always been reluctant. Now, Mal turns to a former girlfriend (Nadia Dajani), who also happens to be an editor at a major woman's magazine called Belladonna, to help him get his current study into an article. You see, Mal has actually programmed a computer to "romance a woman" with catch phrases and displays of interest in what the woman actually says. Well, well. Therefore, Mal proposes an article about HIS computer competing for the affections of a chosen female against an actual male. The arrangements are made and the two other parties are selected, a pretty female named Samantha (Sarah Chalke) and a major masculine player, Dr. Love (Troy Rollins), also a professor. But, soon after the project starts, Samantha longs to meet the fellows she has been talking to so Mal must don the persona of a smooth Frenchman who, nevertheless, gets all of his lines from the computer ALONE and Dr. Love is, of course, himself. With two males in avid pursuit, which one will Sam choose? This is a cute, charming film despite having no major stars and an implausible premise. All of the actors do a fine job in their respected roles, although Douglas is virtually wasted. However, how nice to see Celeste Holm, as Mal's grandmother, for she is a major scene stealer. The obviously tight budget has resulted in a film that is only adequate in production values, for although the costumes are nice, the camera-work is amateurish. Nonetheless, if you adore romantic comedy and often are at odds in finding something new to watch, you should make efforts to locate this film. As in history, this Alchemy turns a somewhat leaden storyline into a golden experience for such viewers.

My wife and I both thought this was a well written enjoyable movie. The dialog was very funny and the actors did a great job with it. We did not know the lead actor Tom Cavanagh, but it is obvious he is going to be well known in the future. If you watch movies to have a good time than this is a movie for you. Judging by some movies we have seen lately, many people watch movies because they need to feel more depressed. If this movie had big names associated with it then it would have had a large gross, assuming that the big names would have done as good a job as the current actors. We see a lot of small (indy?)films with big names that get excellent reviews for horrible movies. The reviewers are obviously faking it. They should have thrown some well deserved good reviews at this one.

Just returned from the Annapolis Film Festival and I came here to comment on ALCHEMY, the opening night film that seemed to go over really well at the Festival. As I got to IMDb, I was surprised to see so many bad reviews, however, I think most people judge things much too harshly these days. After all, this is a romantic comedy, not exactly a genre meant to break new ground in film. But rather, one that is purely meant to entertain.And, IMHO, this film does just that. It entertains. It's a cute, funny movie, and worth seeing. Heck, it's worth seeing if only for the performance of Sarah Chalke, who brought a realism and believability to the romance. See the film, and you WILL know what I mean.So often, in lower budget films the acting can be a major weakness, but here, it's a major strength. And in my opinion, none was better than Chalke, who I couldn't quite place where I recognized her from. There was a Q&A afterward, and the director reminded me that Miss Chalke is on SCRUBS. Overall, I really enjoyed this romantic comedy, so much so, that I will be looking for it again on ABC Family Channel.After all, it does what it's supposed to do: entertain the viewer!