The Fastest Guitar Alive (1967)

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

Just perfect...

Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

Singing guitar-slinger Roy Orbison (as Johnny Banner) and hunky sidekick Sammy Jackson (as Steve Menlo) battle more Indians than Union soldiers as they work "undercover" for President Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy. When the Civil War ends, a booty of gold they stole from the USA for the CSA makes Mr. Orbison and his pal WANTED men. They are also desired, but for kissing instead of killing, by pretty sisters Maggie Pierce and Joan Freeman (as Flo and Sue Chestnut).Producer Sam Katzman, who did "Kissin' Cousins" (1964) and "Harum Scarum" (1965) with Elvis, probably wanted Presley for this picture. After Colonel Parker declined, it might have been offered to Ricky Nelson. Father Ozzie would never agree to a film without complete production control, so that wouldn't have gone anywhere. So, what about Roy Orbison? He had the same sort of record success, and was owed a shot at movie stardom as part of his manager's deal with MGM's record subsidiary.Orbison received millions from the package, which moved him from Monument to MGM records. The deal turned out to be a disaster, which is reflected in this film. Even the hit records stopped. The best "The Fastest Guitar Alive" song showing was "Pistolero" appearing on the B-side of a minor "Top 100" hit - which turned out to be the last Orbison appearance on the record charts until the 1980s. To make matters worse, Orbison had to deal with some personal tragedies. Roy was better than this.** The Fastest Guitar Alive (9/1/67) Michael D. Moore ~ Roy Orbison, Sammy Jackson, Joan Freeman, Maggie Pierce

Roy Orbison and Sammy Jackson are both spies for the Confederacy who are planning on robbing a gold shipment. They pose as patent medicine salesmen and Roy also doubles as a dance hall singer.This was the film that single-handedly killed Roy Orbison's acting career. It's hard to believe now, but in the 60s he was a VERY hot commodity and the Beatles were at one time HIS opening act! This movie was an attempt to make him like the new Elvis in movies, though his ability to play a romantic lead or show any emotion was nil. Perhaps given time he might have been a decent actor, but here he just isn't given much to work with and he just seems like a fish out of water.So what's wrong with the film? Much of the problem were the songs. While most of Roy's songs were actually very enjoyable (despite having the sound of an electric guitar and orchestra in the Old West), a few of the song in the film were just awful. The "Goodtime Party" song was just awful and the music and clapping were way out of sync. In addition, there was a song by the dance hall girls without Roy near the beginning of the film that had me pondering suicide--it was THAT bad and the lyrics were wretched. The title alone of the song pretty much says it all--"Snuggle Huggle" and it was the only song in the film Roy didn't write or co-write.As for the writing, it was generally fair to poor except when it came to the "kooky Indians". These supposed Indians were terribly unfunny and were less believable as Indians than when Mel Brooks played one in BLAZING SADDLES (and his was intended to be bad).Overall, this is a very limp film only of interest to bad film freaks and the curious.

Yes, the movie "The Fastest Guitar Alive" was terrible and Roy Orbison was not an actor. But just like anything else, you must practice to be good at whatever you choose to do. Elvis at first, was not good, but he got better, but then the roles got worse.Roy should have studied first before going before the camera.Granted, he would not have been a matinée idol, but who knows what could have happened if he would have continued with acting.Most big name actors started out in bad movies and acted badly, but as time went on, they learned their craft and some went on to win Oscars.One of the first roles that Clint Eastwood had was a lab assistant in "The Revenge Of The Creature", and you know what happened in his career.One of the biggest problems with "The Fastest Guitar Alive" is that it should not have been trying to be a musical.It just didn't work and the movie seemed to have too many things going on. But don't blame the actors for a bad script, they just made the mistake of being in the movie.And don't be too hard on Roy. He was new to movie making and didn't have anyone to guide him. He gave it a shot and we have to give him credit for that.

Hi, Everyone, Roy Orbison appears to be a nice guy in this movie. So does Sammy Jackson. The script is there, but it is not great. There is a nice plot line that could have been developed in a serious way. Political correctness got in the way and Roy and Sammy seem to be too worried about seeing to it the money in question here gets to almost anyone but themselves.Sammy started his career as a model during the heydey of the Athletic Model Guild and then became an actor in the TV series, No Time For Sargeants. He was also in Night of the Grizzly which is a pretty bad movie.Roy might have done a good job if they had the right script for him. His songs are OK and well arranged. Iron Eyes Cody gets a few laughs along with Ben Lessy. Ben Cooper was a big star in the mid 1950s and here he does an excellent job being a bad guy.Watch for Sam The Sham. He had the big hit in 1965 of "Wooly Bully." I would like to recommend something similar in case you like this. I cannot think of anything similar. A funnier Western would be Blazing Saddles.Tom Willett