Centipede (2004)

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

Mostly, the movie is committed to the value of a good time.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

A group of friends who embark on a caving expedition in the Shankali Caverns in India run afoul of vicious and voracious giant mutant centipedes. Boy, does this gloriously ghastly celluloid refuse possess all the right wrong stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: Totally all-thumbs (mis)direction by Gregory Gieras (who also wrote the lousy straight-down-the-line predictable'n'preposterous script), pathetically unconvincing Styrofoam cave sets, annoying and unlikable characters who you want to see all die in the most brutal and gruesome manner imaginable, zero tension or creepy atmosphere, ineptly staged monster attack scenes, extremely obvious and ridiculous puppet beasts, laughable tin-eared dialogue ("Freaking rocks bit him, dude -- stalactites or something!"), a ludicrous premise that's treated with endearingly misguided seriousness, and a simply incredible explosive climax. The deliciously dreadful acting from a game, but lame no-name cast further enhances the considerable campy charm of this clunker, with especially abominable work from Larry Casey as virtuous dork David Stone, gorgeous brunette stunner Margaret Cash as sassy'n'sexy babe Sara (Cash more than compensates for her woeful lack of thespic skills by busting some mad hot moves during a sizzling dance set piece and looks mighty fine in her cut-off shirt and skimpy short shorts), Trevor Murphy as the easygoing Jake, George Foster as obnoxious hipster Dirk Doggett, Matthew Pohlson as cool fellow Owen, Danielle Kirlin as brash groovy chick Zoe, Steve Herd as insufferably whiny wimp Matt (who thankfully gets bumped off first), and Satish Sharma as jolly native guide Kafi. The dynamic score by Ajayan Vincent hits the heart-pounding rousing spot. A hilariously horrendous hoot and a half.

OK, OK - I'm an idiot. I should have known that any movie requiring punctuation in its title (i.e. !) is of questionable quality. It is clear that the writer, one Mr. Gregory Gieras, spent minutes upon minutes researching the means and methods used by cavers. This becomes apparent the moment the soon-to-be Purina Bug Chow enter the cave. Sara and David take a full 3 seconds to tie off their belay lines and then "jump" into the abyss - hardly a method one would expect of prudent cavers. And the dialog was priceless. "Dirk, Sara, Owen, you guys go north. Jake, Zoe, and I will head south. Look for an up-shaft. Copy?" Copy? Copy?! Did he actually say, copy? Is David a wanna-be astronaut? What a hoot. But they did find a shaft . . . and the audience got it. The funniest part of the movie was the final scene when the caving "experts" turn out to be explosives "experts" as well. Caves and explosives - I wish they'd offered these classes at my school.I just have to ask; Did the actors do their own climbing, or did the climbers do their own acting? It's hard to tell.If you have an hour or two to kill you might consider watching this or you could do something really entertaining like conducting evolution experiments in your refrigerator.

The movie is almost satisfactory, not too scary, but interesting. The rappelling and caving however is crap, the cave exploring that is shown in the movie is totally wrong. The gear, the techniques are absolutely unreal. Where did all the light in the cave come from? They are supposed to be 5 km deep in the cavern. There should be no light whatsoever, except for their flashlights. They didn't have any safety precautions, no spare batteries for headlamps. They didn't even have appropriate clothes. It is very cold in a cave so deep, about 5 Celcius or less, you need thermo suits, lots of food, fuel and other stuff. They were wearing t-shirts. An expedition into a deep cave lasts weeks not hours. They had enough rope maybe for 200 - 300 hundred meters. They didn't make any anchoring. You just can't hold a rope while somebody is descending, it has to be anchored. When one descends on a rappel he has to descend slowly and gradually. At the speed as shown in the movie you burn the rope, burn your fingers when you touch the metal parts of your gear. Don't try this at home boys and girls, you'll get killed.

Well I can't honestly say this is a great movie, it might even be good if you're into Bug Monsters. This might have been made to honor all the giant bug movies from the 50's, but personally I thought the plot was thin, the premise was formulaic and the whole movie was a little contrived. Typical college kids vs. monster movie. Some bouncing babes, some male to male social conflicts, a legendary cave and a final party for a soon to be married buddy. Add plenty of extra people for fodder and away we go. I have to admit the Indian background characters are a good change. In the final tally, it's still an average SciFi channel small budget movie. Alright for a diversion, but I doubt if I'd rent it. So I give it a 4 out of 10.