Taintlight (2009)

One of the worst movies I've ever seen

Fantastic!

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

For those who desire to see a decent spoof of "Twilight" I would recommend "Vampires Suck." Taintlight, which I found funny at times, was mostly crude. The film starts out with a man dropping his pants in the woods and then dropping the f-bomb. The humor includes far too many period, fart, incest, and masturbation jokes. Meredith Host is the twenty something that played a high school student.I liked the dad, who wore a t-shirt which proclaims, "I hate actors" which was clearly making a statement about the original film. Edgar would tell Stella to "shut the f@#$ up" and then say, "I'll see you tomorrow." Yes, there is clearly a spoof of the original, but the abundance of crudeness detracted from the film.F-bomb, no nudity.

TAINTLIGHT is an open spoof of TWILIGHT by the one and only Chris Seaver, a filmmaker with no discernible talent behind or in front of the camera. Seaver is best known for his shot-on-video horror/exploitation fare such as the FILTHY MCNASTY series but this sees him attempting a proper spoof of a popular film.Sadly, it's as infantile and ridiculous as the rest of the director's oeuvre, featuring nothing more than a bunch of non-actors getting into costume and hanging out in the woods. The humour is puerile, the over the top performances are supposed to be funny but really aren't, and the whole thing is nothing more than an appeal to the lowest common denominator.

If you are looking for a Mel Brooks quality spoof, just keep looking. This is not for you. This movie is filled with toilet humor, bad jokes, and terrible acting. That being said, it does accomplish it objective of spoofing even more terrible source material and I think some of the bad acting is actually a spoof of the cast of Twilight. I found it to be enjoyable if you are capable of overlooking the low budget limitations. It looks like a bunch of buddies shot it on their mom's camcorder, but there were some good laughs in there. If you don't have the patience for unpolished independent films, I would suggest Vampire's Suck instead. I would still much rather watch Taintlight a thousand more times than watch another Twilight movie.

This movie was by far the worst spoof movie I have ever seen. I read the other two reviews and I honestly have no idea what was so funny about this movie. I love spoof movies, they're silly and crack me up with laughter but this movie, Taintlight, was just plain bad. The acting was terrible, the dad's character was funny in a sense that it was all in bad taste, and the story line... just bad. I skipped forward twice in this movie as the terrible scenes just drag on. It honestly was torture to watch and I just couldn't take it. I tried to watch it, I really did, I even waited for the vampires to show up in hopes that maybe it would pick up but it didn't. All the same execrable scenes left much to be desired. I wanted to laugh when I clicked play but all I got was a headache from rolling my eyes so often. Don't watch this movie if you have an intelligent sense of humor. What a waste of my time this movie turned out to be. Stupidity in it's finest form.