Cthulhu Mansion (1992)

Wow! Such a good movie.

Wonderful character development!

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

H.P. Lovecraft's good name is shamelessly being violated in this ultra-embarrassing excuse for a horror movie. Supposedly based on the legendary novelist's writings, this movie handles about a group of retarded crooks home-jacking an elderly magician and his daughter. Too bad for the coke-addicted bunch the old man has severe issues himself, as he once sacrificed his own wife to the forces of witchcraft. For some reason (whether unexplained or I missed it) all evil suddenly is unleashed upon the mansion and everybody dies in cheesy ways! Believe the bad rating of this film because this really is the kind of garbage that gives the horror genre a bad name. We're talking atrocious acting, one-dimensional characters and abysmal dialogue. Although I'm sure the makers like to believe so, there's absolutely no suspense throughout the entire film and the forced implementation of occult elements (like the black cat, the altar and the Cthulhu-handbook) only makes it more ridiculous. The gore is a lot less outrageous as you would expect (seeing absolutely nothing happens the first 40 minutes) but, as soon as "evil" is unleashed, the whole thing turns into a textbook 80's cheeseball! The make-up effects are hilarious and feature for example a giant claw that pulls a heroine into a refrigerator! In all fairness I must admit that I've always been a fan of director Juan Píquer Simon… His "Supersonic Man" was the film that made me start loving bad cinema and even I still regard it as one of the greatest suckfests I ever saw. His more popular achievements, such as "Pieces" and "Slugs", are very cool films since they absolutely shine in the gore department. Cthulu Mansion, however, belongs in the avoidable trash department.

I love B horror films, so I was expecting something that would at least make me laugh or perhaps keep my interest for an hour and a half. This movie was not even close to accomplishing either of those tasks. It amazes me how a production can be so bad in so many ways. There isn't a thing about this movie that makes it worth watching. The acting is bad, and not in a funny way. The actors look bored half the time. It's total s***. Why is it that these productions fail to live up to the standard of high school theatre? The plot is also garbage. The only thing borrowed from Lovecraft is the Cthulhu nomenclature. I mean, what does this movie even have to do with the Cthulhu mythos? Answer: absolutely nothing. The dialogue is so repetitive and inane... not even a bit of humour in it. The characters are also pretty flat. There wasn't a single one I cared about by the end of this monstrosity. The F/X (all 35 seconds of them) are also pretty bad. Again, not funny bad; just plain moronic.The bottom line: I bought this from a local movie store (used) for $1. I should have bought a can of Pepsi, or played 4 games of Space Invaders. I am fanatical about bad trash cinema, especially horror, but I can't find a use for this thing at all. Bypass with extreme prejudice.

Small spoilers An aging magician harboring a terrible occult secret and his daughter are taken hostage in their isolated mansion by teenage scumbags need- ing a place to hide out. When the captors refuse to listen to the magician's dire warning to release him unharmed, the mansion slowly releases its nightmare of horrors on the unsuspecting invaders. Laughable horror film has lots bizzare scenes including a girl being eaten whole by a plant, claws coming out of a refrigerator and pulling people in, possessed people running around doing nothing.....Lots of fun! recommended.

This is without a doubt, the worst movie I've ever seen. Back in my Lovecraft-freakish days, I would scour video stores for every Lovecraft based film I could find. Oh, I rue the day I stumbled upon this one. Horrible plot, worse acting, and just plain bad production values abound in this film. however, I gave it a two because of one moment of HPL-inspired brilliance. If you've seen the film, you know what I'm talking about; if you haven't, it's not worth sitting through the whole film just to see this one bit.