x
Vampire Hookers

Do you have Prime Video?

Start unlimited streaming now Click to start 30-day Free Trial
Home > Horror >

Vampire Hookers

AD:This title is currently not available on Prime Video
Free Trial
View All Sources

Vampire Hookers (1978)

July. 01,1978
|
3.8
|
R
| Horror Comedy
AD:This title is currently not available on Prime Video
Free Trial
View All Sources

A sinister vampire sends out a horde of undead beauties to bring back victims for his dinner.

...

Watch Trailer

Free Trial Channels

AD
Show More

Cast

Similar titles

Reviews

Incannerax
1978/07/01

What a waste of my time!!!

More
Ketrivie
1978/07/02

It isn't all that great, actually. Really cheesy and very predicable of how certain scenes are gonna turn play out. However, I guess that's the charm of it all, because I would consider this one of my guilty pleasures.

More
Gutsycurene
1978/07/03

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

More
Leoni Haney
1978/07/04

Yes, absolutely, there is fun to be had, as well as many, many things to go boom, all amid an atmospheric urban jungle.

More
Coventry
1978/07/05

I haven't figured out yet whether "Vampire Hookers" is the most retarded movie of all times, but I can most certainly confirm already that it earned a spot in the top ten for sure. Basically this means that I cannot possibly reward it with a rating higher than 2 out of 10, but – and this is contrary to all genuine bad movies with a similar rating – I don't want the rating to discourage anyone from watching it! Quite the opposite, in fact, "Vampire Hookers" comes with my warmest recommendation in case you're an avid fan of cheap and sleazy 70s exploitation cinema. Why? Simply because it's pure brainless and unscrupulous entertainment with a non- existent plot, lunatic characters, infantile toilet humor and gratuitous sex; that's why! Cirio H. Santiago was the contemporary king of Filipino exploitation rubbish and here he even managed to cast John Carradine in a top-billing role. However, like in most of the films released during the last decade of his career, he only just stands around with a disinterested look on his face and whines his lines almost inaudibly. He depicts a sort of fancy white-suited vampire patriarch living underneath a graveyard in a Filipina coastal town, together with his three beautiful, luscious and voluptuous…err…brides! They have local slaves, aspiring vampires actually, that lure horny men to the graveyard so that they can feast on their bodies and blood. When their supervisor doesn't return after a wild night of fun, two worried Navy Sailors start their own investigation. The screenplay of this lousy but charming flick is full of bad jokes, but you'll laugh out loud anyway because the comical situations are so cheesy, inappropriate and misfit. The type of humor featuring in "Vampire Hookers" is probably best illustrated through the character of the exploitation regular Vic Diaz. He plays a fat and filthy henchman who farts continuously, and when he discovers he finally receives vampire fangs, he gets so ecstatic and jumpy that the walls of the entire underground lair come tumbling down. Also, and this is truly remarkable, Cirio H. Santiago proves with "Vampire Hookers" that even 10-minute sex orgies featuring three beautiful women can be overlong and boring; especially when they keep their panties on!

More
suspiria10
1978/07/06

Rating…3 / 5 Genre…Horror, Vampires, Comedy, Filipino Cinema Director…Cirio H. Santiago Stars…John Carradine, Bruce Fairbairn, Trey Wilson, Karen Stride, Lenka Novak, Katie Dolan, Lex Winter, Leo Martinez, Vic Diaz, Erna Martha Bauman Synopsis…Two sailors are on leave in a Filipino port well on their way to looking for love in all the wrong places. After a beer brawl separates them one finds himself in the clutches a bevy of fanged beauties. It seems that a poetry spouting vamp (poor John Carradine) has set up shop uses his Vampire Hookers to nab unsuspecting prey ala Dracula and his brides.Thoughts…Vampire Hookers is far from the worst thing I've ever seen it's silly as all hell but it still entertains none-the-less. The two bumbling sailors were obviously graduates with honors from the Bruce Campbell School of Cinematic Snickers with the screen shenanigans peaking with a stinky, flatulent vampire. You really have to feel for John Carradine who has horrible lines but at least he had most of his scenes with title bloodsuckers ("'cause blood is not all they suck").In Conclusion…It's crude. It's silly. You know you want to see it.

More
Michael_Elliott
1978/07/07

Vampire Hookers (1978) ** (out of 4) A rather insane horror film from the Philippines has a couple sailors on leave when they notice a buddy taken to a cemetery by a hooker. When their buddy doesn't show back up they go out looking for him and discover a vampire pimp (John Carradine) and his three vampire hookers. This is a really stupid film that is pure exploitation but if you enjoy bad movies then there's enough here to keep you going. If the thought of a fair to poor movie scares you then it's best you stay away from this one. The movie is incredibly stupid on so many levels and that includes dialogue like "Coffins are for being laid to rest...not for being laid". You also have exploitation legend Vic Diaz playing a loser who wants to be a vampire but can't help farting inside his coffin, which keeps him from being able to sleep at night. The performances, as expected, are beyond bad and that includes the three hookers, although thankfully they do get naked. They get naked during a nearly ten-minute orgy scene, which has to be one of the worst ones ever filmed. Then we have Carradine who is once again playing a vampire and here we get to see him with fake plastic fangs. He appears to be having fun at the age of 72 so you can't blame him. The Philippines have delivered all sorts of strange exploitation films over the past few decades but none of nutty as this one here. It's certainly trash but just sit back and try to laugh. And don't forget to stay tuned during the closing credits to here the song "Vampire Hookers (They Suck More Than Blood)".

More
Steve Nyland (Squonkamatic)
1978/07/08

I have been trying to make myself "like" this nearly unwatchable horror/comedy for a couple years now and am getting nowhere.Shot in the Phillipines on the cheap, starring a bunch of nobodies and featuring John Carradine's most forgettable screen appearance as Count Dracula [though sharply outfitted with a white linen suit complete with Panama hat; he looks great!], VAMPIRE HOOKERS pretends to be kinky horror fare but wallows in fart jokes, transvestite jokes, racial humor and awful disco music. Nai Bonet's NOCTURNA with it's sleepy boogie scenes and breathtaking bathtub scene by it's star doesn't seem like such a bad movie after suffering through VAMPIRE HOOKERS again. At least they could dance -- all the jokes in HOOKERS fall flat on my eyes & ears, there is no real horror, and the question of whether or not there are really girls in this movie at all sort of reduces it all to a cringe inducing slog of 90 minutes. The fact that it seems to go on and on forever doesn't help, and while I am as nostalgic for the late 1970's as the next guy one can at least take heart in the fact that human kind effectively evolved beyond a state where movies like this are possible. If you've ever wondered why there hasn't been a re-release of this for the digital age, STOP, because people often find themselves getting exactly what they asked for and regretting it. Beyond a fabulous title, VAMPIRE HOOKERS is unredeemable, uninteresting crapola, and that is what Out of Print prior rental tapes were invented for.Avoid it; * 1/2 out of a possible ****.

More