Microwave Massacre (1983)

From my favorite movies..

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

Ok... Let's be honest. It cannot be the best movie but is quite enjoyable. The movie has the potential to develop a great plot for future movies

Stand up comedian and sometime actor Jackie Vernon had his last movie role in this laugh riot camp horror film. Jackie plays Donald, a construction worker whose wife May (Claire Ginsberg) is trying to get him to eat her experimental dinners. She does this supposedly for his own good, and does it with the assistance of her microwave oven (a real gargantuan artifact). Finally, he can take no more of her nagging and, in a drunken rage, bludgeons her to death with a salt grinder. He comes to realize that he likes the taste of human flesh, so goes out and kills more people to feed his newfound appetites.Written and produced by Craig Muckler and Thomas Singer, and directed by Wayne Berwick, "Microwave Massacre" is a pretty tasty morsel when it comes to horror comedy. It's full of utter ridiculousness, and absurd dialogue, not to mention some deliciously tacky gore effects and one utterly priceless severed head. The amusingly deadpan Vernon alternates between being sincere, and letting the audience in on the joke by breaking the fourth wall. His interactions with victims and other characters are a joy to behold. We have a hooker named Dee Dee Dee (Lou Ann Webber), a psychiatrist (John Harmon, who'd acted for director Berwicks' father Irvin in things like "The Monster of Piedras Blancas" and "Malibu High"), a doctor with the childish moniker of Von Der Fool (Ed Thomas), a hottie foreigner (Anna Marlowe) who makes a living dancing in a chicken costume, Donalds' fellow construction workers Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Philip (Al Troupe), and Sam (Phil De Carlo), a grumpy bartender who doesn't want to hear his patrons' sob stories. Ginsberg is perfect as the kind of nagging wife that would drive any husband mad.This movie keeps coming up with enough wacky and irreverent shtick to sustain it through a very reasonable one hour 17 minutes run time. Just don't expect to see the title appliance come into play all THAT often while it plays out.Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm so hungry I could eat a whore.Seven out of 10.

I'm old enough to remember when MICROWAVE MASSACRE first made its way to video, yes VHS, years ago. I owned a video store at the time and horror films always rented well. When I saw the artwork for this one and read the description I laughed, ordered it and put it on the shelf for rental. I also watched the movie. Before it ended I wondered what I had been thinking when I ordered it. The movie was as bad if not worse than the title.And yet in the passing years the movie has garnered a cult following among fans of bad movies. Those who revel in the worst film has to offer have found a gem to add to their collections. Seriously, the movie is terrible for so many reasons and yet it's the sort of movie that you feel compelled to watch from start to finish. It's not one of those intentionally bad movies, it is one where those making it really thought they had something but the end result could not have been what they intended.The story involved mild-mannered Donald (Jackie Vernon), a construction worker whose wife May is intent of elevating herself and Donald to a classier lifestyle. She displays no class in her decorating style, in her attitude, in how she talks and definitely not in the cuisine that she forces Donald to eat every day. A prime example is a crab sandwich that is, yes, an entire crab between two slices of bread.After a night of drinking Donald goes home to find May has cooked some strange new concoction. In a drunken rage strangles May, killing her. When he wakes the next day he discovers what he has done and now must cover up the evidence. Cutting up her body he cooks it in May's huge microwave and then wraps the pieces in tin foil. He stuffs the body parts into the freezer in the garage, not noticing that one piece has fallen into a garbage can he used to throw away the food May froze in the freezer. When he gets hungry later that night he takes that particular piece inside to eat and is surprised at how good it tastes. As he unwraps it while eating he discovers it is May's hand. But since it tastes better than what he's been served lately he continues eating.This leads to Donald finding other victims to kill, microwave and then eat. He also shares the food with his co-workers who enjoy it as well and suddenly become friendlier towards Donald. The body count rises and Donald's hunger is satiated. The movie ends rather abruptly, or should I say mercifully. And lucky for us it didn't end with anything that looked like a sequel could happen.So much is bad about this movie. The sets seem like they actually filmed it in someone's house, which if you watch the extras you discover they did. Jackie Vernon shows why he was a great stand-up comedian and a lousy actor. Not only does he display no range of emotion he can't even show surprise and make it believable. The rest of the actors fare better but not much. The cinematography is low level at best. The props are recognizable but unrealistic. As I look back I find nothing that works or is well done here.And yet the movie has a certain charm for fans of really bad films. You get the impression that the people behind it were really trying to make something but didn't possess the skill or talent to pull it off. When you watch the extras you get a glimpse into those people and what they thought about the movie they were making at the time.Arrow Video has once again saved a cult film from disappearing forever and you have to give them credit for doing so no matter how bad the movie is. This is the kind of movie that you put on during a party and have a good laugh over. What is mind numbing is to think that this movie was given a 2k restoration by Arrow. In addition to that it includes a brand new audio commentary track with writer-producer Craig Muckler moderated by Mike Tristano and a brand new making of featurette that includes interviews with Muckler, director Wayne Berwick and actor Loren Schein. It's important to note that the featurette is more entertaining than the film itself. But fans can rejoice that it's now being offered in this pristine version. If bad movies make you laugh, make you smile or make you appreciate good movies just that much more than by all means you need to watch this film. And thank Arrow while you're at it for delivering it to your door.

This movie is wrong on so many levels. "Microwave Massacre" is totally absurd and amateurish nonsense that doesn't feature anyone or anything that makes the slightest bit of sense. Some crazy friends presumably gathered together a couple of hundred bucks and decided to make their own movie. But instead of a spirited B-movie homage or creative gore flick – like, say, "The Evil Dead" or "The Dead Next Door" – this is just a load of embarrassing and irritating rubbish. I sincerely hope that everyone who was even distantly involved in the production of this film still thinks back about this little escapade with shame. The terribly annoying construction worker Donald, who loves old-fashioned baloney and cheese sandwiches, is depressed because his wife just bought a gigantic microwave and now just exclusively serves disgusting experimental TV-dishes. One drunken night, Donald just can't take it anymore. He kills the wife and microwaves her body parts into meat sandwiches. Donald quickly turns towards killing younger girls, as he craves for flesh that is less sturdy to consume. Can't blame him for that. "Microwave Massacre" is a slapstick comedy instead of a cheap horror tribute. Tiny little problem, however, is that the film isn't funny at all. The continuously bad jokes are only interfered to show random sleazy footage and overlong boring monologues. The acting is unbearable and the "gore" is pathetic. There are certain things in life which I'll never understand, like The Pythagorean Theorem and a handful of quantum physics formulas, but I've learned to accept that. Something I cannot and do not want to understand, though, is how this piece of crap can possibly have such a loyal fan base.

Microwave Massacre (1983) ** (out of 4)Donald (Jackie Vernon) is a hard-working construction worker who sadly is married to a not-so-great woman. Instead of cooking him "manly" meals she instead cooks up all sorts of weird meals popular in unknown countries. Donald finally snaps and kills her and this leads to a new life when he realizes that human flesh is quite good for the body.MICROWAVE MASSACRE is a film that I truly, truly hated the first time I watched it. The question would be why I bothered giving it a second chance but there's no question that it played out much better this time because it's smart to go into it not expecting too much and certainly not expecting some sort of graphic horror movie.If you go into this movie with a serious mind-frame then you'll certainly be disappointed because this movie was meant to be pure camp and that's exactly what it is. The story is quite strange to say the least but at the same time it makes for an offbeat comedy that has some funny moments as well as some very awkward moments. I say awkward simply because the entire tone of the picture is rather silly and especially the way Donald carries on with his co-workers.The plot basically has Donald finally living his life and gathering up hookers so that he can kill them and store their meat in his fridge. There are some really campy moments between Donald and the ladies but the director also offers up a ton of nudity yet very little gore. The performances are mostly over-the-top and I'm going to guess that's what the director went for.Vernon's performance is the one that's really off but I'm going to guess that the director wanted this. The character is a rather awkward man and I think having the performance so different than the rest helps make you feel that and on that level I think it works. I'm sure a lot of people are going to hate the humor style here but if you can get where they're trying to go then MICROWAVE MASSACRE is an interesting, if not completely successful, little film.