The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

Blistering performances.

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

A black hole hits northern Wisconsin and opens a door to other dimensions. Giant 15-meter spiders emerge from it, who have an appetite for human flesh! Dr. Jenny Langer and Dr. Vance from "the NASA" try to save the world.First, I must confess it was a huge oversight on my part not to have seen this film sooner. As a fan of "bad movies" and a Wisconsin resident, I should have watched this many years ago. But, I just never did. Sorry, Bill Rebane, you cantankerous old coot.That being said, this is not a bad film. I mean, you know, it is far from a good film. But the acting is actually quite good, and it is immensely entertaining, which counts for a lot. Is the lighting atrocious? Yes. Are the giant spiders a bit cheesy? Certainly. And there are sound issues. But at its heart, this is a fun creature feature and one I could enjoy on repeat viewings, which is more than I can say for most turkeys.

Yeah, yeah. By now, you should know I'm a die-hard Mysty (MST3K fan for the uninitiated.) Without their comments and riffs, this movie strangely enough holds it own. First off, let me warn you that it is another Bill Rebane flick! Yes, the man who brought us MONSTER A-GO-GO! And yes, we're treated to his usual trademarks: bad acting, long stretches of tedious dialogue, pointless scenes that meander, and humor that falls flat. However, occasionally there will be a gem that shines through. This time around, the budget must've been slightly bigger because we have a few veteran character actors. In the very first scene, we're introduced to Alan Hale as the sheriff and his first line is "Hey little buddy!" How can we not instantly love him? He's the jovial kind of sheriff everyone wants to have. Unfortunately, he's also pretty incompetent. A few moments later, we're treated to the most disgusting character: Mr. Kester, played by the wonderful Robert Easton. Let me pause for a minute and salute him, I think it takes a really brave actor to play someone so reprehensible. Anyway, he's disgusting because not only is he a fat, back brace-laden slob who cheats on his wife, but he also makes a few lecherous passes at Terry, his teenage sister-in-law. Though I admit, that scene is kinda funny with DELIVERANCE-style banjo music playing in the background. Finally, we also get Steve Brodie as a NASA expert of something and Barbara Hale as a stargazer. Oh did, I mention that a large comet/ meteorite lands in Mr. Kestor's backyard that spouts out tarantulas in geodes? By the way, the scene of the comet/ meteorite crashing looks oddly like a similar scene from MEN IN BLACK some twenty years later. Just thought I'd mention that. Anyway, as you can guess, the "giant spiders" crawl around and people randomly scream and/or die. As if to make matters worse, a VW Beetle (haha!) covered in brown fur, pipe cleaner legs and fangs, with giant light bulbs for eyes, begins stalking the quiet countryside. Yes, that's the "giant spider" in the title. I believe everyone involved was treating it half-seriously. It's definitely a curiosity. So I'd highly advise you watch this flick anyway you can, with Mike and the Bots or not. Their comments only help to add to the cult status of this one!

Those of you out there looking for an intelligent, well made film, don't watch this movie. In fact, don't even read this comment. However, if you're like me and like cheesy scifi and horror movies, this is the film for you. It's currently my favorite MST3K episode and even my favorite movie. Volkswagons dressed up as spiders? Hilarious? Check. Alan Hale Jr. as a tubby sheriff? Hilarious? Check. A disgusting man with a back brace who gets eaten by a giant spider's butt? Hilarious? Check. Many more hilarious things happen in this campy, surprisingly well cast "Horror" movie, but I won't spoil it for you. I can't watch this movie without falling to the floor and rolling with laughter. It never gets old! So, in conclusion, I recommend this Bill Rebane classic to anyone looking for a good laugh and a big grin.

Ridiculous 1970s sci-fi movie. It takes place in Wisconsin. Some spiders from another dimension (don't ask) get to Earth and grow to gigantic size. They attack a small town and panic ensures. Dr. Vance (Steve Brodie) and Dr. Langer (Barbara Hale) try to figure out how to destroy them while the sheriff of the town (Alan Hale badly miscast) tries to keep things in order. There's also redneck Dan (Robert Easton), his alcoholic wife Ev (Leslie Parrish) and their jail bait daughter Terry to provide some wholly predictable and boring "human interest".I heard this was bad but I didn't realize that it was THIS bad! Bottom of the barrel stuff here. It was made on no budget with a giant spider that is (pretty obviously) a puppet. The sound recording is poor (I had to keep turning the volume up and down) but--considering the dialogue--that's no great loss. The film has absolutely horrible cinematography--some scenes were so dark I couldn't make out what was happening! Also Alan Hale bulldozes through his scenes to an embarrassing degree--it makes his acting as the Skipper on "Gilligan's Island" look restrained. There are a few good parts--the acting by Barbara Hale and Steve Brodie isn't bad and there's a nicely gruesome scene where you see a man devoured by the giant spider. Still this is mostly boring and pointless. A 2.