Zombie Island Massacre (1984)

Just so...so bad

It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.

If you're interested in the topic at hand, you should just watch it and judge yourself because the reviews have gone very biased by people that didn't even watch it and just hate (or love) the creator. I liked it, it was well written, narrated, and directed and it was about a topic that interests me.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

American tourists decide to take a Caribbean bus ride to attend a possibly authentic voodoo ceremony, afterward falling prey to predators cloaked in darkness attacking when they are at their most vulnerable. Who are these people? Are they the "voodoo people" with a hidden, hostile agenda? Or, are these monsters of a different kind? Are they in fact some sort of zombies that are terrorizing these foreigners for possibly invading their turf? Essentially a murder spree, as victims are picked off one or two at a time when separated from the group..by even the smallest distance. The killers are barely visible, entwined with leaves and barely shown on screen thanks to a camera which attempts to avoid the predators as much as possible. The mystery of who they are is VERY underwhelming, and a great many of the kills are rather lamely executed(..the decapitation is incredibly dopey as the head falls from the neck before the machete even touches it). Most of the violence is off screen, but when daggers penetrate victims, we see close-ups of the weapon inside the body with limited blood shed(..another scene has a couple landing in a pit layered with wooden spikes). There are some effective shot gun sequences where victims are blasted in the torso after releasing their spears. Paul(David Broadnax), is a black photographer who might be more than he appears, but another amongst the group is also hiding something as well. Steve(Tom Cantrell)is the other male of the group who takes a vital role in guiding them out of a difficult situation.When their bus has been interfered with after the zombie ritual, the driver goes for help, vanishing leaving the group to fend for themselves. That is when Paul and Steve take charge, leading the group to a lavish unoccupied villa not too far away..the journey to get there has casualties. The premise has possibilities, but the pace is lethargic and the characters uninteresting. The death sequences never achieve a visceral thrill despite the opportunistic story-line of tourists trapped in a harrowing fight for survival in an unfamiliar place. The low budget obviously had something to do with the ineffectiveness of it all. It's obvious, due to her hideous performance as Sandy, that Rita Jenrette was hired for her breasts, which greet us in a shower sequence and a little later when her boyfriend, Joe(Ian McMillan)wants to make out in the lower deck of a yacht. Important character, Connie(Diane Clayre Holub), who conveniently saw the villa and communicated it's whereabouts to the rest of the group, has an important agenda that will play out at the end in the climactic showdown. The attempts at character development and the explanation for the events that transpire, fall positively flat. The tourists themselves as a collective unit(..other than the two men that lead when the going gets tough)nag and whine incessantly for the duration, not unusual in these types of films because when they are eventually killed you simply could care less.

Generally, I'm a huge fan of Troma films. Troma movies are just for people with a certain affection for trash and exploitation, of course, and many of them are over-all pretty silly, but they are all somehow highly entertaining, original and memorable. At least that's what applies to every Troma movie I've seen, EXCEPT John N. Carter's "Zombie Island Massacre" of 1984. While even the sillier Troma Movies I had seen, before I saw this, were entertaining in their own way, "Zombie Island Massacre" is just plain boring.The movie is, of course, silly, but, as mentioned above, I don't mind the silliness. "Zombie Island Massacre", however, does not have any of the great qualities that make Troma flicks special and memorable. Neither is it gruesome, disturbing and ultra-violent as "Blood Sucking Freaks" nor is it demented as "Mother's Day" or hilarious as "The Toxic Avenger". These three movies are probably Troma's most famous films, of course, but "Zombie Island Massacre" does not even compare to any of the lesser-known Troma flicks I've seen. The only elements "Zombie Island Massacre" shares with many other Troma flicks are the negative ones - A thin plot and bad acting - without featuring any of the many great elements Troma's, usually wonderfully demented films normally provide.Furthermore, I can't stop wondering who was responsible for the title "Zombie Island Massacre". The film takes place on an Island, all right, but there is not a single Zombie in the entire movie. Some people are talking about Zombies in the movie, but that's it. Furthermore, I would have wished to see some more people massacred. A few people are killed of course, but this film having the word "massacre" in its title is a daring exaggeration.Anyhow, the movie, has a few (very few) funny moments, but I was disappointed in spite of its bad reputation. Even hardcore Troma fans should consider twice before wasting one and a half hours on this movie, since it does not deliver any of the great, demented qualities Troma usually stands for. 2/10

Zombie Island Massacre starts as a group of American tourists on holiday in the Caribbean prepare for a guided tour of a local island named St. Marie. They all meet up outside their hotel & are welcomed by their tour guide Reginald Jones (Dennis Stephenson), they all board a bus to take them to a waiting boat at the local docks. Once aboard they set off for St. Marie where the guide takes them to see a real life Voodoo ceremony performed by the local tribe in which a dead body is seemingly brought back to life. Two newlyweds Donna (Deborah Jason) & Ed (Tom Fitzsimmons) sneak off into the dense jungle for a bit of lovin' but both are brutally murdered. Once the Voodoo ceremony ends everyone start to make their way back to the bus only to discover that the driver has disappeared, Reginald says he will find a phone & call for help but doesn't come back. Photographer Paul (David Broadnax in a role that Wesley Snipes was originally considered for), all round hero Steve (Tom Cantrell) & an artist named Connie (Diane Clayre Holub) take charge & decide that they must help themselves but they quickly discover that something is lurking on the island with the intent of killing everyone one-by-one...Edited & directed by John N. Carter Zombie Island Massacre wasn't anywhere near as bad as I had feared, that's not to say it's brilliant but I thought it was OK. Since this is another 'Troma Team Release' I didn't expect much so in that respect I wasn't disappointed. The script by star David Broadnax moves along at a fair pace & tries to throw a few twists & turns into the mix at the climax, it doesn't work all the time but at least some sort of effort was put into it. I don't like to blow my own trumpet but I have to say I saw EXACTLY where Zombie Island Massacre was going about half way through, I even spoke out loud my predictions & I was absolutely 100% right! Everyone was impressed I can tell ya! Maybe I've just seen too many of these things or maybe I just got lucky. The character's are the usual horror film clichés, the hero, the pretty woman, the black dude, the one who moans all the time, the selfish one, the ones who hold everyone else up etc. etc. Having said that at least they're not too annoying & most of them die. Unlike a lot of Tromas output this has no comedy elements at all despite the silly video artwork on the IMDb main page. The title is also rather misleading as there are no zombies in the film at all.Director Carter obviously had a low budget to work with & does a reasonable job with what he has, it's a hell of a lot better than the usual Troma crap & at least tries to maintain some credibility. The violence & gore is tame to say the least, the only really gory bit is when someone is decapitated, other than that there's a bit when a couple of people fall in a pit with spikes at the bottom, someone is hit over the head & some gunshot wounds.Technically Zombie Island Massacre is basic although better than the usual low Troma standard. It's not that well made & looks pretty rough. The acting isn't great, in fact it's poor. The film features Rita Jenrette was a former wife of SC Congressman John W. Jenrette Jr., so now you know!Zombie Island Massacre makes for a fairly entertaining 90 odd minutes, don't get me wrong it's far from brilliant but I think it's probably worth a watch if your not too demanding. Better than expected.

This is the first Troma picture I have seen that is basically a serious horror movie. What I mean is they never get really goofy here. Unfortunately, this probably turned off all the Troma fans out there. Then the title probably got zombie lovers attention and when they see this movie has basically one zombie who is not really involved with the plot they get ticked off and give the movie a one. I had low expectations so that is why I gave it a five. I did not think it was really all that good, but I also did not think it was all that bad. It was a watchable horror movie on an island with a few good kills and an easily predicted plot twist or two. I got this in a pack with two other Troma movies "Blood Hook" and "Blades" and I enjoyed this one the most even though the other two have higher scores. Still I understand why it has such a low score, when you are all set to see a zombie movie and you are not given any you do tend to get angry. I will admit this one would have been better if there were zombies swarming all over the house they take shelter in, but since I read some stuff before I watched it I knew it was not going to be a zombie movie per se.