The Amityville Playhouse (2015)

Better Late Then Never

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Following the tragic death of her parents Fawn Harriman discovers she has inherited a theatre in the town of Amityville. She, along with 3 friends, decides to spend the weekend there looking the place over. Meanwhile one of her High School teachers begins an investigation into the village's past and makes a connection with something that goes back beyond recorded history. Amityville Playhouse feels like a really bad school project that a bunch of kids had to film and unfortunately? It might be even that since the acting, script, story were bad.

The film has the word "Amityville" in it so we know it has to be scary and somehow related to the 10,000 other films with its name in it. And we know this is the REAL Amityville because there is a car with a magnetic sign that says "Amityville" plus other cardboard signs. Pay no attention to the distinctive Manitoba license plate with "Friendly Manitoba" blurred out.Fawn (Monèle LeStrat) inherits the threater from her recently deceased parents who died in a cabin fire by a Canadian lake. She wants to "check it out" with an overnight group of friends. The theater showed opera by day and adult films by night. The theater was shut down in 2010 while the last film on the marquee was "Valley of the Demon" a 2013/14 film.The sound was uneven and the soundtrack consisted mostly of a piano with two keys. I initially laughed at Fawn's delivery of bad dialogue until I watched the rest of the cast, who were actually worse. Director John R. Walker carved himself out a role in a subplot in a confusing teacher's spot which includes an odd scene of Brits discussing American History. Other odd scenes include the motel room rental and the knock out and release scene.The demonic voice enhancer is a dead low budget give away and is normally used in zero budget films. I wasn't sure why they whipped out a Ouija Board and have it play such a minor role other than Ouija boards are cheap. You don't have to use everything you learned the day you spent at film making school.This borders on "so bad it is good."Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity. Kyle makes numerous homophobic statements.Congrats Mr. Walker on getting this into Walmart

Why do I put myself through these bad sequels one after another is even a mystery to me. It must be the completest and fanboy inside of me that wishes for one last good sequel to enjoy since the remake instead of leaving the series behind.Fawn has inherited a production company from her parents who died mysteriously five years prior and her four friends are now trapped inside with the terrifying poltergeists. Her teacher now must find the links to the past and save them before time runs out.I wanted to enjoy it, but the production value was terrible, the dialogue is uninspired and the acting was the worst I've ever seen. Besides Lestrat (Fawn) the caste is for the most part unlikable from her moody boyfriend to the troubled brother Jevan and Kyle who annoy the audience with their constant bickering.Instead of using the sets, props and imagery to their advantage it remains an uneventful script boring you to sleep and makes this entry forgettable.At this point it nearly matches Friday the 13th for sequels and the well has been pumped dried. The show should not go on.

So here's yet another person who thinks they can try their luck at writing and directing a 'horror' movie simply because they are a fan of horror movies and fresh out of college. The writer and director (I used those words loosely ) is sure a fan of the original Amityville the he decided to investigate and see if you could make a film using the Amityville name whilst having nothing at all to do with err... Amityville.So first off what he did was insult many fans of the original movies.The writer and director even admitted that only 3 people EVER went to see this movie on its short cinema release. Those 3 people being the writer himself and 2 producers. Says a lot right there.Don't even read on.. Don't give this trash any more attention and it should go away.