The Battle of the Last Panzer (1969)

Overrated and overhyped

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

THE BATTLE OF THE LAST PANZER is one of those late '60s Italian WW2 films that doesn't have much going for it. The budget is so low here that most of the costumes are wrong and authenticity seems to have been long forgotten about. The story is about the usual group trapped behind enemy lines, and Guy Madison appears, but the action is limited and one machine-gunning sequence is really annoying in the way the sound effects repeat for about ten minutes without a break. The red filter in this sequence doesn't work either. The worst part of it is the long-winded romantic sub-plot about a Frenchwoman and a German officer.

I almost turned this movie off during the first 10 minutes. I decided to continue watching it to see if there really was a plot buried amidst all of the other shortcomings of the film. There are several things that you should know that are bound to annoy the typical war movie viewer. 1. Stupid music. Some of the worst I have ever heard. It reminds me of the old spaghetti westerns. 2. It's a dubbed movie. I'm not a fan of movies that are dubbed, i'd rather watch them in the language they were shot in and read captions. In this case, it's worse because the Americans and the Germans are both dubbed and have no accents what-so-ever. In some really dark scenes, you don't know if you are watching the Germans or the Americans. 3. Authenticity. There are so many inconsistencies with weaponry, uniforms etc that it's hard to tell who is who and who they are shooting at. Even the Germans shoot at the other Germans who are hiding behind a tank early in the movie yet, Later, in pitch black one of the men can identify the Lieutenant from 1/4 of a mile away as he walks down a hillside. 4. Dialogue. War movies are about war. Guns, explosions and people fighting. There are some really odd cut scenes. There is one with a prostitute where a soldier trying to teach her about humanities indecency - she's not interested, she just wants the $64 dollars. Most of the dialog reminds me of watching Japanese Anime.If you watched it this far, you might as well know that it doesn't get any better. All of the actors have perfected rolling down hills as they die. Apparently gravity always pulls you towards a camera man, never away. All in all, a complete waste of time. Unless you are just looking for a movie with cheesy dialog, there's ALWAYS something better than this to watch.

It has a great title, but the movie isn't worth the film its made with. The plot is awful and the story of a German tank crew trying to get back to its lines is performed just like a spaghetti western. I mean with the never ending, annoying music and stares of the actors. It culminates in a tank battle taking place approximately 50 feet from each tank. Of course the German tank explodes, but both occupants get out unscathed. The German tank with the American crew also explodes, but no one comes out. Furthermore, the equipment and uniforms are equally ridiculous. Also, the dialogue seems as though it was written by a 10 year old kid. Do not waste your time with this clunker.

World War II movies are my forte and I am well-versed in military history as well as time-period accoutrements. I have seen some bad Second World War flicks in my time, but this "thing" of a picture, this blasphemous abomination, sure cuts the cake! Besides lacking talent, creativity and a determination for a little historical research, the guy who directed this film had to have sympathies with Nazi ideals. First, it was shocking to see the French Resistance portrayed as a roguish band of buffoons headed by an equally idiotic and boisterous leader; a smack in the face to the brave, witty Maquis who courageously resisted the German occupation of their homeland. Secondly,the film is saturated with bad acting, senseless dialog, contemporary uniforms,weaponry and vehicles (check out the "U.S. troops" wearing Spanish Army camouflage uniforms, helmets - which are a direct copy of the old German M1944, poorly concealed by helmet covers and brandishing CETMEs -Spanish copies of the G3 7.62mm automatic rifles). The "Tiger" is clearly a Spanish Army-issue M-48! Need I go on? Rent, but do not buy, this movie. The insatiable stupidity will make you laugh and cry..and laugh again; yes, it's that bad!!!