Monster Pies (2013)

Better Late Then Never

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.

Kid#1 losing brother in freak accident? check. Kid#2 with catatonic mother and little sis with down syndrome? check. Kid#1 & kid#2 falling in love? check. Catalyst for kid#1 & kid#2 falling in love school project for kids giving their own version of Romeo and Juliet immortal love story? check. Abusive father for kid#2 driving him to bad decision? check. From trauma to trauma unsparing editing? check. Amateur, unfortunate chemistry between the kids? check. Full fat lips Dafoe-perfect for the job, though the job is not done if you excuse my pun? check.Shameless presentation of suicide? Your call. Add all ingredients with two chunks of cringe-worthy Beethoven pianistic sentiment and chill; spill on screen. Garnish with snowflakes.Goes best with monster pies.

My ten vote is strictly for first time feature actor Lucas Linehan who, if there is any justice in the world, will be a big star! This guy has it all. Looks, talent, chemistry, charisma - you name it - Lucas has it. He made this insufferably bad film worth watching and even though I groaned my way through the absurdly juvenile script (the director candidly admits he wrote it when he was 15) I could not take my eyes off Lucas who is so refreshingly new, so incredibly talented that one wonders just how far he will go in films. Based on this debut alone he should be picked up by a big Hollywood agent and I am certain he will. Other standouts were the mother in the home and the teacher in school. Both women created unforgettable characters that really worked. But the failure of this film is the absolutely dreadful script, which if actually written when the director was 15 is understandable. It just plain reeks of silly, juvenile ideas that have no place in a serious script although Lucas Linehan is actually able to overcome most of the horrible writing, but, alas, not all, that's how bad the script is.

The main review of "Monster Pies" on the IMDb page calls it "A few lovely scenes scattered at random through a very clumsy movie" how wrong the reviewer can be, those of us who love our movies be them short or full, do not always look for the complete perfect end product, sometimes a movie filmed with edge takes you closer.I can assure you "Monster Pies" does take you close and introduces two fine young actors that I honestly Believe we will hear lots more about in the future. Lucas Linehan is what you look for in an up and coming young actor, and he is the complete package, you feel the emotion from him, I have just seen a new short movie he has appeared in titled "Sheets" which is on the Festival Circuit and again he brings out the best in the part he has a lead actor. Tristan Barr the other lead in "Monster Pies" delivers a superb role and demonstrates he has the same talent to go far.I have to admit liking Australian drama and "Monster Pies2 delivers, I am sure many young people will identify with the part of William (Lucas) the uncertainty we can have when we are young and Mike (Tristan) who delivers his part so different from the role of William, but shows how people do identify often.A good storyline and well delivered, don't be put off with one review!

if you're any sort of an emotionally unstable person (like myself), if you find yourself tearing up during heartfelt moments or painful ones, then this movie will destroy you. While I laughed at the plethora of breakdowns the characters experienced, the movie itself, in all its glory, is beautiful. when it ended, i found myself cursing the movie because it had made me happy, but also very sad. i hate this movie, but i also love it.the acting is great, the script is phenomenal. the dialogue felt awkward at first until i realized the lead actor is supposed to be awkward and then it was just charming. some moments are a bit hard to believe, but overall, i'd watch this movie again, definitely, but only on a rainy night when i feel like being happy and sad and confused as to how that's possible. I guess that's good filmmaking!