The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (1958)

Just so...so bad

A lot of perfectly good film show their cards early, establish a unique premise and let the audience explore a topic at a leisurely pace, without much in terms of surprise. this film is not one of those films.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy is probably one of the most boring movies I've ever watched. It took me five times before I finally managed to finish it. I just couldn't stay awake...It's so darn uninteresting. It's just a long summary of the previous movies in the series...this is not one of those movies that are "so bad they're good". It's just bad. The fight between the Aztec Mummy and the robot must be the worst fight scene in movie history. It almost makes me believe that I fell asleep again and had a nightmare.The only positive thing I can say about it is that there's nothing truly offensive in it. The good guys are good, the bad guys are bad (in more ways than one). The pagan mummy can be defeated by the Cross. Then there's the classic "evil scientists shouldn't mess around with dangerous stuff" theme. It's too bad the rest of the movie smells worse than a mummy's breath.

I recently wrote of The Lost Continent that it was "worthless except as a sleep aid." Well now I must admit that has nothing on The Aztec Mummy vs. the Human Robot, or "La Momia Azteca Contra el Roboto Humano" in its original Spanish. Mummy vs. Robot is likely the least frightening horror movie and least thrilling thriller I've ever seen. It might be the worst movie ever made in Mexico, and that's saying a lot. Rarely has it ever taken so long to do so little, except in a Philip Glass opera.Aztec Mummy vs. Robot is actually the final installment in a trilogy that also includes The Aztec Mummy and Revenge of the Aztec Mummy. In fact, the first half of this movie is spent reviewing the plots of the previous two. This of course means lots of narrated flashbacks utilizing footage from the earlier films, inter-spaced with scenes of the main characters sitting in a living room having this all explained to them. The funny thing is, most of these people were there for most of the events described, so they should already know this.The first Aztec Mummy movie was basically a rip off of Universal's The Mummy. A young woman realizes that in a past life, she was an Aztec Princess sacrificed to one of their gods. But before she got her heart cut out, she had an illicit romance with a warrior, who was buried alive as punishment, and has spent the last thousand years guarding the princess's tomb. Sucks to be him. Anyway, the girl, her shrink, and his archaeologist buddies went to the tomb, recovered some priceless artifacts, and were attacked by the mummy, who eventually got his treasure back.In the second installment, a mustached, crazy-eyed villain called 'The Bat' kidnapped the chick and forced the good guys to help him steal the treasure, before blowing up the tomb to kill the mummy. Didn't work; the mummy showed up at his hideout, grabbed the treasure, and threw him into a pit full of rattlers. Every mad scientist's lab needs a pit full of rattlers, right? But I digress. It turns out the bad guy's still alive, he knows where the mummy is, and he's built a robot to help him defeat the mummy. For reasons which I'm sure make sense to him, he once again kidnaps the heroes and forces them to help him.This may sound like a lot of action packed into one movie, but remember that we only hear people talking about half of this, without actually seeing it take place. And the parts we do actually see aren't that great either. The actors can't act, the effects are nonexistent, many of the scenes are so poorly lit you can't see what's happening, and all of this happens at a glacially slow pace. If you manage to stay awake through all this, you finally get to see what you came for: the robot and the mummy mixing it up.Alas, this proves to be rather anticlimactic as it is most assuredly the SLOWEST FIGHT EVER. I've seen fights between tortoises that were more gripping than this. Octogenarians with walkers could run circles around these guys. I waited an hour and a half to see the promised robot-mummy action, and was even more boring than the rest of the movie. I can't recommend this one even as a sleep aid. Leave Aztec Mummy to rot where it belongs, the graveyard shift on your local Spanish language TV station.

Nice Dr. Almada (Ramon Gay) discovers a hidden tomb in a pyramid. In it is a priceless bracelet and breast plate. It's also guarded by a mummy who has been cursed for all eternity to protect it. Evil Dr. Krupp (Luis Castaneda) wants them to finance his experiments for world domination...but the mummy kills anyone who tries to take them. So Dr. Krupp build a powerful robot to kill the mummy so he can get the treasure.OK--I love bad films. How could I resist something with a title like this? Unfortunately it's not bad enough to be fun. It's just BAD! It also manages to be slow AND convoluted at the same time! The plot is (obviously) stupid and this is a Mexican film that's horribly dubbed. It was shown to kids back in 1960 at kiddie matinée here in the U.S. Even the kids probably hated this! The film is very low budget...and it shows. The makeup is (and I'm being kind) terrible! The mummy is nothing more than a guy in rags with a dime store mask that looks like oatmeal! The robot is just a guy in an ill-fitting suit that wouldn't pass muster for a grade school play. The title fight comes at the end and is far from thrilling. It lasts an astonishing two MINUTES and just has them pushing each other around! The acting can't be truthfully judged because they're all dubbed. It's thankfully short at only 65 minutes but it still has plenty of padding that I was fast-forwarding through. Good for a few unintentional laughs but it's more boring than anything else. A 1 all the way.

This flick was the introduction for a lot of us to the works of K Gordon Murray. That's because it was easy to find. It was on every public domain label in the VHS era, and before that, a late night t.v. cult classic, double knee thigh slapper. Besides, HOW do you resist the title?For late comers, a brief explanation of it's merit: Florida wheeler dealer K. Gordon Murray imported Mexican horror films, dubbed them into English, then made a mint with them at the drive in. The Mexican ORIGINALS were weird enough to begin with; American boundaries and accepted horror film conventions were cheerfully disregarded. Great, great set design and lighting were placed beside weird or laughable special effects. NOTHING in Hollywood was as close as these were to out and out strange. Now, mix in Catholic influenced social conventions, Mexican folk lore, and we are not in Kansas anymore. Add to THAT the English scripts they were dubbed into. Most were written by Reuban Guberman, who wanted words to match movements of the actors lips ON SCREEN, not the literal translation. As a result the American soundtracks tended to run from overwrought to down right loopy. There's even a fan web site for Murray that prints the best, most over the top lines for each movie. First time viewers to the films complain about the pacing, the purple prose, the production values and are told it's SUPPOSED to be that way..while the people laugh with enjoyment over things normally considered fatal film flaws. It all must be very confusing if you don't have a taste for it.This one was made back to back in 1957 with the two previous films in the series; THE AZTEC MUMMY and CURSE OF THE AZTEC MUMMY. All three are now available on the 3 disc AZTEC MUMMY COLLECTION (BCI) and it's about time. It has the K Gordon Murray version on one side, the original Mexican production on the other side. The contrast between the two is fascinating. A lot of the times the original Spanish is not much saner.ROBOT/MUMMY starts off with a nice long flashback bringing you up to speed on the previous episodes, sort of..continuity was tossed out the window in number two, and it's downhill from there, logic wise. You don't even get The Angel back, or any mention of him in this final episode. Names, places, even family trees switch between films. After a while, you start LOOKING for the continuity changes. By now, the series villain Doc Krupp is totally pig biting mad, nearly drooling with dementia and STILL wants to steal the Aztec breastplate. Rosita Arenas is sent back to the past with another nice edit of the AZTEC MUMMY floor show, and wanders out into the dark in her nightie to help find that doggone breastplate again. The mummy isn't any happier with this then he was last time.The robot actually has a production credit. It was made by 'Viana & Co S.A.'. I mention this, because it looks like the grips came up with it between takes on a slow afternoon when the real costume went walkabout. Nope.This was PLANNED. Wait until you see the controller it runs from. X box, where WERE you when Krupp NEEDED you??? The Robot LOOKS crushed to death at the end, but actually came back in two more Mexican made movies..it had a FAN BASE.. All in all, a funny quirky finish to a three movie series. Sit back and enjoy.