Diary of a Cannibal (2007)

The greatest movie ever!

Not even bad in a good way

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

it is the rare 'crazy' movie that actually has something to say.

You know "women's" pictures of old - tragic love stories, soft focus camera work, weepy scores. Well, the tradition is alive and well in this boring tale from Ulli Lommel. Based on a true story of a man who ate another man because he met on the internet (was it consensual? was it murder?), "Diary of a Cannibal" trades the details to modern California love. It tries to combine horror and romance, but it just falls flat on both counts.As a horror film, it's too slow and not gory enough, plus it gives all the money shots too early. We know what's going to happen and see the same shots over and over again. The way the story is structured, the girl isn't driven to madness or secretly already mad. She just does what she does and seems bored with the whole deal.As a romance, it's too gory and disturbing, plus the romance part really isn't shown well. They meet and they're both relieved the other is cute and walk around on the shore and BLAMMO! that means love. There's just no resonance to it.A silly subplot/twist also fails, as does the irritating "flashback" way the story is told. The performances are also pretty terrible, with the exception of Jillian Swanson who does a nice job as Noelle. And dig the epilogue with the faux Mulder and Scully who are interrogating her! Romance and horror can work - just look at "Dellamorte Dellamore" or even "Return of the Living Dead 3." Just don't look at "Diary of a Cannibal."

I just HAVE to write a comment of what I'm experiencing right now. I am shocked by what I just saw, and not because of the contents, but by the way they were brought to the screen.I remember the movie's story being on the news, as it is based on actual events. Unfortunately, there is hardly anything left of the true story, and it is turned into a vague 'romance' story.The filming, editing, acting and effects in this movie are so terrible, that it is a horror movie in the fact that it is simply horrific. Don't let anybody tell you this movie is good, they are lying. It looks like a project of a starting film student, who is about to be kicked out for lack of talent.The best example to the sadness of this attempt at film, is when the headless body is shown. In the place where the head would be is a black block that seems to be drawn on the image in Microsoft Paint! I'm going to go back to the video store tomorrow and not ask for my money back. I'm going to ask them to remove this DVD from their assortment. My 3 euro probably doubled the amount of money they paid for it to begin with.

Wow. In short: Do not subject yourself to this. Ever.In long: This is, in my humble opinion, one of the worst and most misleading "movies" I've ever seen. The box, and even the artwork on the disc itself, suggest a very different viewing experience than what you are about to get. This movie is AWFUL, and by that, I mean first-year experimental film student awful. How this P.O.S got funded in the first place, let alone distribution through Lionsgate, is beyond me. Oh wait, it has an enticing title, and box art that is reminiscent of recent horror fare in the vein of 'The Hills Have Eyes', so people who like horror flicks get duped into renting it. I knew renting it was a risk, as most direct-to-DVD horror flicks are frankly, garbage, but I was in the mood for some cheap slasher-style fun, what I got was 84-minutes of poorly shot, cheaply edited, flashbacks. This movie has about 6 scenes that are recycled over and over and over. There is little to no dialog, and whenever there is any, it is horribly Mic-ed, it sounds in places like it was actually in-camera audio, with no location audio used at all. There are headache inducing montages in which 2 or 3 shots are overlaid on top of each other, the acting is Z-grade level, the gore is laughably pathetic, and the whole concept was wasted. There is the bones of an interesting movie in the concept here, but with no character development, no real reason given for the events that transpire, beyond horribly pretentious and annoying bible quotes that appear randomly throughout, and no action to speak of, this just really angered and frustrated me. I actively beg you NOT to watch this movie. No one in their right mind will get any kind of enjoyment from this. Ulli Lommer, find another career, you obviously don't understand the first thing about making a movie.Mike Renzella

As no one has yet commented on this piece of trash I think it is my civic duty to warn people not to be tempted by the title into watching this. It is not a horror movie. There is no tension, no frights and very little gore, and that is badly done. I know Ulli Lommel has produced some of worst movies in history but this surpasses even those god awful efforts. Maybe Lommel's parents are to blame for encouraging him or maybe he's just some spoilt rich kid with more money than sense but either way, he should stop making films immediately. I believe the movie is taken from a book called "Diary of a Cannibal". I'm intrigued enough by the awfulness of the film to seek out this book and see if it is better. It must be.The entire movie is made up of flashbacks that are, more often than not, repeated over and over. The whole thing looks like it was shot through the bottom of a jam jar and the main actors do nothing of consequence throughout the whole turgid 80 minutes or so. If somebody offers "Cannibal" to you for free, don't take it. Just walk away because you will, most surely, regret the experience for the rest of your life.