Crawl (2011)

Truly Dreadful Film

not horrible nor great

A Disappointing Continuation

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

***SPOILERS**** Totally bazaar movie about this creepy Croation hit-man, George Shevtsov,given a job by an sweaty looking Australian bar owner Slim Walding,Paul Holmes,to do in a scuzzy and greasy looking auto mechanic Rusty Sapp,Bob Newman, for welshing on a debt that he owned him. With the job complete and and Rusty having his brains blown out the Croation leaves the murder weapon at the scene of the crime so the police can find it and frame Walding, whom the gun belonged to, for the murder! There's just on problem in all this is that as the Croatian was making his getaway he hit and fatally injured biker Joe Travis,Andy Barclay, wrecking his car and leaving him out in the cold.The Croatian looking for a place to stay for the evening finds this house that waitress Marilyn Burns,Georgina Haig, was living in with her boyfriend who just happened to be Joe Travis the person that the Croatian ran down and left for dead. Desperate to check out of the area before the police arrive the Croatian ties up Marilyn and at the same time goes back to the accident site and murders the brain dead Travis to cover his tracks and leave no witnesses to his crime. There's also Slim after finding out that his gun is missing and the Croatian stole it to use to murder Rusty and as insurance frame him for it. Slim after taking a brake in the action and having a game of "The Crawl" with his other waitress Holly,Lauren Dillon,whom he ends up spanking black & blue then goes to Marilyn place, thinking that his gun was there, only to end up getting axed to death by the Croation who was there waiting for him!****SPOILERS**** The films ends with Marilyn getting the upper hand on the Croatian who's too clumsy and uncoordinated, due to the injury he suffered in his car accident,to finish her off. Off beat movie with long stretches of almost no talking at all as the Croatian bumbles his way through the house after Marilyn slipping and falling in his effort to get and kill her. As for Marilyn she was lucky that the Croatian seemed to have taken a liking to her and let her escape when she was helplessly tied up and ended up doing the wild and crazy guy in. That after the Croatian had so many chances to kill her and let just her slip away from him.

One of the dullest so-called thrillers I've seen in a long time, CRAWL has aspirations to be the next classic Aussie movie. The only good thing I can say about it is that director Paul China clearly knows his movies, but there's being inspired by and ripping off, and CRAWL falls into the latter category. In various press releases, China and his brother are described as the new Coen Brothers, but CRAWL is more like a Coen Brothers rip-off.The opening scene is about the most memorable bit in it and even that rips off NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN like nobody's business. After this point we're in BLOOD SIMPLE territory, with a slow-burning plot involving a small cast who come together on one fateful night. Bloodshed ensues, but everything is dragged out to an endless degree so it becomes a chore to sit through. There's no artistry here, no suspense or gripping moments, just a film that eventually becomes silly because it's so po-faced.It doesn't help that the script fails to breathe life into the various uninteresting characters, or that the cast members are singularly unmemorable. But by far the worst thing about this is the director himself, who has no idea of how to make a thriller work. I think even I, with zero training in film-making, could have done a better job.

This one definitely had scary elements to it but by the end of the movie, I had this weird feeling of being mislead. The whole movie has a very dark comedy feel to it, but it mostly leaves you feeling confused and a little bored. I never really felt the urge to laugh, but I was aware that some stuff was meant to be funny, it just wasn't enough for me to actually laugh. It's still worth watching because there are some definite creepy situations but overall, nothing new that you probably haven't already seen.Please like me on Facebook! We love getting suggestions and warnings on everything horror: http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Heart-Horror/338327476286206

As the other reviewer (only other one at this point of time), I did watch this at the Frightfest in Glasgow. I really liked the suspense the movie created and the filmmakers really did a nice job of capturing intense on film! While of course the movie could've been over sooner (if not for "movie logic"), this doesn't mean you have to dislike the movie for this suspension of disbelief.I sure hope you don't, because the movie would not be worth anything, if you start thinking like this. And I know what I'm talking about, because I do have those moments myself sometimes with movies. But this one was so fantastical, so otherworldly (great cinematography btw), that I didn't watch it as anything other than a tale or a fable (with horror mixed into it of course).While I also wouldn't exactly call it a slow burner, it isn't really fast paced either. You've got to know that this will not rush through things and will take its time to go places. I really enjoyed that and hope they'll come up with something new soon