Vampires Anonymous (2003)

Boring, over-political, tech fuzed mess

It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

The idea of a twelve step program for recovering vampires, is a solid, original, premise. The "Vampires Anonymous" meeting and eccentric members, including Michael Madsen, got things off to a fast start. After the promising opening, the script seems to wander in and out of "black comedy", with nowhere to go. In the end, there are unexplainable lapses in logic that weaken the movie. Really not violent enough for the horror crowd, really not totally a successful comedy, really in parts too clever for it's own good, really lacking chemistry between the leads, really bad southern accents, really no nudity for a film where it might have helped, but still creative enough to entertain. Marginally recommended. - MERK

After giving up his cravings and murdering his own girlfriend, Vic joins Vampires Anonymous to try and kick the habit. He relocates, goes through a 12-step program, and survives off sheep blood. Things get complicated when the locals complain about their dwindling sheep flocks. A would-be cop named Diesel starts investigating the strange occurrences, while a corporate vampire hunter closes in on Vic as well.Generally, I do not like vampire films because they seem to copy one another and are rarely ever scary. And while this one wasn't scary by any means, it was at least interesting by putting a new spin on an old subgenre. This featured a clever script with many in-jokes. I particularly liked the parallels of Vic's hunger for blood and Diesel's need for alcohol. These urges hold back both characters in different ways. Whether either character can overcome their flaws affects the outcome of the film.There is a lot of fun to be had here too. Michael Madsen plays Geno, Vic's program partner and confidante. Neil D'Monte plays Juan Rodrigo, a lovelorn vampire, doing a spot-on impression of Antonio Banderas. Small animals are "snack food" at the VA meetings, Vic reads "CosmoVamp" magazine, vampires get silicone poisoning after biting Swedish Bikini girls with breast implants, and while attempting to bleed a sheep, Vic is mistaken for a sheep f*cker by a redneck farmer.The ending culminates into a cool showdown with Vic, his lady, and the vampire hunter running through a haunted house. It was pretty funny watching them push around the clueless people that mistook them for either employees using fake scare tactics or customers looking for some scares.The sound and film quality were pretty good. They used several real animals like mice, birds, and sheep. The SFX were good when used. However, this was a comedy, so there was minimal gore. The vampire teeth looked realistic as opposed to the plastic ones I have seen used in other films.Favorite Quote: Vic to Maggie, "It's because I'm a vampire, isn't it? Are you afraid they won't let you in the sorority? Afraid they'll whisper, There goes the vampire-f*cker?" DVD Extras: Sadly, there were none! Only Scene Selections all by it's lonesome. I suggest a Special Edition re-release featuring commentary and Behind the Scenes footage.Bottom Line: Refreshingly original take on the Vampire subgenre. Huge on laughs, but lacking in scares.Rating: 7/10 Molly Celaschi www.HorrorYearbook.com

This movie was so good. I laugh so hard each time I watch it. The hidden comedy is so deliciously dark it makes this movie even better. I can't wait to see what they come up with next. I have successfully infected everyone I know..including my own mother by making them watch this film. I admit that at first they all didn't want to have to sit through it because it seemed a bit silly from the title and description but none of them were disappointed.If you are looking for an awesome dark comedy with excellent music, check this one out. My only complaint is that I can't find any merchandise like bumper stickers or T-shirts. I am thinking Christmas gifts would be a wonderful way to spread the news! To all of those who watched this movie and didn't "get" it... Dude, you rock!

I have waited four months to see this movie -- my friends saw a sneak screening and loved it. I loved it too -- very funny! Great acting, great music -- it's a rad movie. My girlfriend liked it too so I guess it's a good date movie. I'm not sure what to compare it to -- it's just kinda or original.