Pocket Ninjas (1997)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

If you are wondering how bad this movie is to be in the bottom 100 then take it from me that this is literally the WORST movie of ALL time. Words cannot begin to describe the storyline... why are there are over 10 montages of the same footage?Worst music, dialogue, filming, acting, everything.I am lost for words to describe the awfulness of this movie, it's like 3 ninjas mixed with funniest home videos, it sucks, it's offensive and i'm pretty sure someone has vomited from simply viewing this film.0 out of 10 stars I want every copy destroyed to save the humanity from cinematography's version of Satan

Aye, aye, aye....where to begin?! This horrible movie is just terrible in just about every way...no, wait...EVERY WAY. My only questions are who was insane enough to think this sort of film would sell AND why is this movie currently only ranked the fifth worst film on IMDb?! The film looks like someone with a few dollars (not that many, actually) thought that other martial arts films are bad because they are violent, have actors with actual martial arts skills and don't star talentless kids and teens. So, they went to their nearest karate studio and recruited all the white, yellow and a few green belt kids and asked them if they wanted to star in a movie! While I saw a lot of people with black belts on here, I just assume they bought them and did nothing to earn them, as my cat knows about as much about self-defense as these knuckleheads!! The plot, not that you'll ever care, is that an evil force (led by a cute 9 year-old) can only be countered by three talentless 'ninjas'. These good ninjas consist of three kids in karate who are given special masks that allow them to have really, really below-average and SLOW fighting skills!! If these kids are the world's only hope,...then we are so royally screwed! There is nothing...nothing positive I can say about this film. Horrible writing (if they even had I writers--I honestly think they just made it up as they went along, horrible action (I hate to even use the word 'action'--this implies something more than Tai Chi speed fighting), inept direction and annoying characters--this film rates a zero in all departments. Plus, the idea of watching a film consisting mostly of obnoxious teens with their annoying dialog is NOT anyone's idea of a good time!! The only value this film might have is to use to interrogate members of Al Qaeda, however Amnesty International would be all over the President's butt if they ever did anything that cruel and inhuman!!

i literally insist on watching pocket ninjas every time i'm intimate with my girlfriend! the acting was the finest i've ever seen at one point i thought they were actually ninjas as their moves were so skilled and dangerous looking. the plot just gets deeper and deeper as the movie goes on and is enthralling to watch as the complexities are unravelled. Cobra khan has to be one of the most terrifying film villains ever to be portrayed, I had to watch a good bit of the movie behind the sofa as the terror just became too much for me, particularly in the battle scenes. This movie is a must watch, before i saw this movie i didn't see any reason in getting out of bed in the morning but now, i'm studying to become a ninja myself and u know what? things are looking good for my future. All in all, a massive 10 out of ten for a movie that in my own personal opinion will never be beaten for realism and quality.

My favorite scene is the one where the White Dragon fights one of Cobra Khan's minions in a carnival building. Also, when Gary Daniels tries to woo the woman in the blue spandex, the outpourings of poetry from his mouth makes me wish it was I that he was speaking to. I once saw a movie called "Manos: The Hands of Fate," and thought it was pretty good. After I saw "Pocket Ninjas," I realized that "pretty good" was just not good enough. I have no wish to turn this review into a panegyric or paean to the beauty and incomprehensible, stunning visual conceptualization of this cinematic masterpiece, but truly, you need to see this if you are ever going to consider yourself a true connoisseur of film. Mmm. I think I'm going to slide it into my DVD player right now. . .